"Adult Siblings Who Turn A Blind Eye to the Scapegoat's Abuse"

"Adult Siblings Who Turn A Blind Eye to the Scapegoat's Abuse"

"Why? Because they can. The scapegoated child has been earmarked for abuse by the narcissist. In the mind of the narcissist, the scapegoat is a fundamentally flawed individual, and a faulty appliance. They just do not understand why the scapegoat continues to challenge their authority, and won’t allow themselves to be controlled.

The scapegoated child’s siblings have been brainwashed into believing the narcissist’s faulty perception of this child. These siblings are trained by the narcissistic parent to peck peck peck at the scapegoated child, to pick them to bits, and to hold their sins under a microscope.

In all of this chaos, nobody nurtures the scapegoat. Scapegoats’ endure a horrendous amount of abuse. So much so, they often come out of the narcissistic family with a crushed spirit, and internal wounds so horrendous that they often struggle terribly in their adult life. Once all is said and done, scapegoated children almost always end up playing out the same relationship dynamic they did with their abusive parent, with narcissistic friends and narcissistic partners.

It doesn’t stop there. Once adulthood arrives, scapegoat victims almost always continue to be victimised and blamed for all of the chaos in the narcissistic family unit. More often than not, they end up being victim’s of family mobbing, are forced out of the family, and decide to go ‘No Contact’.

The narcissistic parent teaches the children early on that everything about the scapegoat is wrong, and that they are crazy. The scapegoat’s siblings subconsciously take on this false perception, and look down upon the scapegoat for the same sins they themselves engage in daily. These sins are picked to bits, and are often the presenting reason as to why a narcissistic parent, and a narcissistic golden child often will turn the entire family against the scapegoat in adulthood."

Parenting Exposed has a lot of good articles, and this is one. Allies are very rare for a scapegoat that crawls out wounded from a narcissistic family. I lived this one too. My siblings are so controlled by my mother where her good will and approval comes first above anything else in life. When my brother cussed me out, he was angry because first and foremost, he was angry he had failed in carrying out Mommy's orders. He had never tried to contact me in two and half years.

 It can be scary for a scapegoat who disengages from the parental narcissists, to then turn and face the betrayal of the siblings. I had some memories return about my siblings too. With my brother, my mother used him as a secondary enforcer. My father would hit me but then my brother would threaten it too, and often get away with it. There were times I had to fight back hard, and sometimes I wonder what would have become of me if I had been a person of smaller stature and weaker will.

His threat to come "slap" me was something that happened all the time when I was young. It creeps me out how as a teen I had to fight like a man just to stay alive in my family and was treated like one. The forced masculinization of Meg on Family Guy doesn't surprise me either. That may be one aspect of scapegoating for females, where our femininity is denied.

 My mother's abuse was always backed up by my sister's. They are same. One close friend of mine hearing about my brother's threats said to me, "Your siblings are nuts!" and he is right.

 For a scapegoat being thrown under the bus is the norm. When we go no contact, this is one reason it often ends up being with the entire family. Here too, no one is interested in listening, talking things out or ever daring to see things from the perspective of the scapegoat. Get away from anyone who treats you like this even if you feel like no one will be left. These siblings have been brainwashed and it's impossible for you to bring them out of it. Even after the head narcissist dies, they will be incapable of change.