Showing posts sorted by date for query Marilyn Wann. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query Marilyn Wann. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Sunday, April 12, 2026

Fat Acceptance Today: Marilyn Wann Never Changed Her Mind?

 


Years ago I looked at Marilyn Wann's Facebook page. She had some interesting stuff up there. It was after 2020, sadly she seemed to support all the usual "liberal causes" and Covid mandates and masking which obviously I don't agree with. I agree with liberals on SOME things, most are against the Iran war for instant. Being neither liberal or conservative keeps life interesting. Some of the fat conventions and other things she posted were of interest to me. 

I used to post many articles that disagree with her. I still do.

The dream days of size acceptance never happened. I'm not sure society changed. A few liberal circles are more welcoming to the fat. I guess that's a positive. Maybe there's less discrimination in a few places. The anti-discrimination stuff was always a good thing. I have noted there's some places and demographics who have different views of the fat. Most zine conferences, remember I go to those in the real world, will have a few younger fat girls, doing zines on being fat. I will buy those if I can and offer support. Some may have some of your classic size acceptance views and be "woke" but I figure I agree with them on enough basics. Of course I want to tell the young fat ones too, seek weight stabilization, prevention, find out why you are fat, avoid sugar, and "DON'T END UP LIKE ME!"

Much of the right wing are pretty nasty to fat people, especially on X they are always complaining about fat people and saying we are all parasites to the system with Fat and classism combined. It got old. When EBT was going to be cut, they posted racist and other memes insulting poor fat people. They claimed fat people bought junk food while living on EBT. I've written here about how poverty creates obesity via low quality food and stress.  I agreed with MAHA about food and other health matters, and the too many carbohydrates in the food pyramid, but none of them have made healthier food more accessible or affordable? My disappointment at not seeing some changes in those areas, has been upsetting. Decent food is far harder to acquire. They've made life more limited making it more expensive, less leisure, less things to do, locked down.  I am constantly frustrated trying to find decent food of quality around here, and use a combination of ethnic markets [foreign food is higher quality than American with far less preservatives] Aldi, and the veggie stand during warmer months.

Sometimes I would see anti-fat acceptance messages on X, and they were right that it was weird, that people getting fatter and sicker was pushed as acceptable. Years ago on this blog I constantly talked about why isn't anyone asking why everyone is getting so fat? There's something more wrong here then failed will power and people pigging out. No one listened and the problems just got worse. In the size acceptance world,  I was banned all over the place. No one cared that I was dying of being fat. I almost died at 28, my youth destroyed. Yes I had serious endocrine problems, high stage Lipedema and lupus related problems but I didn't know it yet. 

Years ago, I'd get into internet debates about how CICO was bullshit and diets failed. There seemed to be less judgment for disabilities and being fat in the UU world, then there was in more conservative churches. My working class IFB was good but that second one, my goodness, it was horrible. They were always dieting and competing over who was the thinnest. That was the worse. I wrote about the one preacher who told my entire first IFB church, that I was going to hell for being fat. 

People have gotten fatter and sicker.



Everyone just got sicker in American society and now everyone went running to the Ozempic. I won't take it because it can cause blindness and digestive problems. Sometimes I wonder what else is in those shots considering what has happened with the Covid vaxx?  Everyone is still desperate to be thin. That never changed. Covid and the bad economy probably cut the money flowing to the diet industrial complex, but "thin is still in".  Does anyone here remember all the articles I used to write where I theorized they were fattening us all up on purpose for profit? Hmm most people thought I was crazy, but when I look at the Ozempic landscape, hmm look how that worked out.  When they wanted me to go on it, they told me it cost insurance $1200 a month, That's a lot of money to be made. 

Of course the stuff doesn't bring a permanent cure, you have to stay on it forever or you regain weight. Sheesh.  The diet industry remains as loathsome as ever. It was used as a prison and control matrix on American women especially. It was used too as another dividing tool in this society. Some claim Ozempic has destroyed the body positivity movement and claim it is so miraculous soon there won't be any fat people. I don't think it's that great. 



Fat people are still as hated if not more than before. For some reason people on X thinks all super-fat people who are extreme liberals are all lining up for booster shots, not all of us! I gave up on the diet industry, as everyone here knows. It failed me. Shove your diets up your ass! [and I say this even with my weight on a downward trajectory]. CICO is a freaking joke.  Even if I lose more weight or not, my middle finger will be forever raised to the lying and conniving diet world. American food sucks. Why do I have to go to an ethnic store to even find decent quality garbanzo beans, that aren't soaked in calcium chloride [which keeps them from softening up in Indian recipes] or sulfites? 

The Size acceptance world while it had a few good ideas about ending discrimination and providing access, seemed to bring out some of the earliest "woke" people. These were people who denied reality for a political agenda. And that's the biggest problem with the size acceptance world. They deny reality. The reality is that fatness limits movement and affects the health especially over a certain line. You can't paper over this and people know it. This is why you can see endless videos and outrage against the fat acceptance movement. Just google fat acceptance and look at the contrarian videos and memes. One meme had all these fat people listed on it who died before 55.  My troubles in the size acceptance world were a future warning for the direction the left and "woke" would take with censorship and silencing people. I am fat but I live in reality. 

Saw this meme, I guess I fit the lower left one. I do wish more people figured out obesity isn't always about "overeating" and the multiple reasons behind it. I do agree that they "lie to people and say healthy at every size and ignore the fact they encourage people live in pain until they die extremely young"

Meme source

For those new to this blog, back in the early 2010s, I talked about my troubles with size acceptance, how they were ideologues who refused to listen. They forbid any fat person to talk about medical problems on their message boards and forced positivity. I argued with Marilyn Wann when I was under the internet moniker "Victoria" and was at or near 700lbs. I was dying. That woman called me a fat hater. I told her go visit bariatric nursing homes.

Years ago when re-entering the UU, I gave size acceptance another chance, but I grew bored and saw reality denied and they expected "woke" beliefs on everything. The groups were all politically correct to the hilt, and ignored anything that had to do with real life or economics. No one listened when I said, "Look this much obesity is a symptom of illness, it means people are not doing well medically, it means something is wrong with the food and environment". Normal people never even felt the push to overeat if you blame that and for those with low metabolism, their endocrine systems are broken. They ignored theories about plastics and endocrine disruptors. No one cared. It looks like I was right. Size acceptance still hasn't come into reality from what I can tell. 

The lives of the super-fat/infini fat is not the same as the small or midsized fat. The fatter you get the more you lose. I know if I hadn't lost the 250lbs in 1999-2001 from medical care, I would be dead today. No one makes it too long at 700lbs. 


That's something I noticed fat acceptance obliterated the reality of the infini fat, I guess they admitted we existed, but there was a covering so to speak as to what people dealt with. Years ago I realized they hid the problems that came and refused to discuss it. I realized years ago, that I was a 1 in 5 million person to have become 700lbs. That 400lb plus weight gain was a horror. I started this blog you know many years ago not to protest Covid nonsense or talk about my life as an ACON but to find out what was wrong with me. This blog helped me get my Lipedema [lipo-lymphedema/stage 4 diagnosis.
It also in the long run helped me figure out my lupus related/other endocrine problems and led to my diagnosis of Celiac Disease.

As late as 2023, Marilyn Wann was repeating the same messages. One thing about these extreme "woke" social justice warriors is they never listen to the marginalized people they claim to represent.  This happens in other areas. This was the same in the "woke" left, talk about your real economic life---no one cared. They had abandoned the poor and working class.  Some groups were elevated and others ignored.  Only the ruling class and its desires mattered. Maybe the same thing happened with fat. Surely the ones in power didn't want anyone questioning the rapidly declining health of people in America with the worsening obesity. The diet industry with its billions in profits didn't want anyone challenging their business. They profit off repeat business and failure after all. Those with money were listened to. Those without weren't. Their causes of the day are what mattered more than the real life of human beings. I realized thinking about my time in size acceptance; they resorted to censorship and silencing far more before other parts of society took up those banners. This is one reason I no longer consider myself a leftist. I got tired of being told to shut up. 

She claims here that her views remain the same. Does she realize how many people are now dying of obesity? I'm one who survived, don't forget that. Most people who hit 700lbs by their 20s are dead. It is so absurd to me how she couldn't even address the super-fat people like myself putting her "I can still work, and have money midsized-upper class and fantasy standards on the rest of us." The social justice warriors never let reality get in the way of their cults. One line could have been partially as a result of my disagreements with her years ago. 

".Your paper seeks to explain why fat people exist. Either we are badly behaved (see stereotypes mentioned above) or we are victims of an allegedly obesigenic environment (anti-fatness + classism), or we are diseased by definition, regardless of our actual health status (i.e., eugenics). We need no such excuses or explanation."


As I said before, she still ignores that very high weight causes health problems or often is the RESULT/symptom of health problems with no moral imperatives involved except that often patients in that desperate of a position aren't listened to. And as I wrote years ago, there is healthism here, where if you are fat and sick, you are to be hidden away and considered not worthy of a voice. 

It doesn't surprise me either that these liberal size acceptance people often took up for the Covid vaxx banner. I remember her Facebook was literally plastered in pro-vaxx and "Covid cautious" postings. There too the people getting sick won't be listened to. Big Pharm and corporations have the final say. That connection worries me. They never heard of "Died Suddenly? They must sweep those people under the carpet along with the people bed bound from obesity. 

I've kind of ignored the size acceptance world for some years, they weren't open to any outside views. I gave up and walked away. Sometimes I posted about them on here, like I do now.  I went to a few Zooms during Covid years, but gave that up. Fatties Against Fascism seemed to be a cool group to me for a while until I started to question some of the left. They also become pro-vaxx. I obviously don't support Antifa and never did, and well, as I wrote here, before I left the left. If you are no longer liberal, most of the fat acceptance world and size acceptance world, while I agree with them on SOME things, there were many things I no longer did. So I was kind of out of all that except the rare run-ins at the zine conferences. 

The fat acceptance world just didn't seem to fit anymore.  It seemed predominantly ruled over by middle class to upper class academics with purple or pink hair, who had the financial standing to live these lavish lives. They had no problems affording vacations [like the plus sized Disney women], or scooters or big people's clothing. Many were midsized, functional and able to work good academic and other jobs that paid good salaries. In other words, they didn't relate to my life and vice versa. Some of their messages on discrimination, access and better clothes, I was very happy with, other messages I was not. 

Many of the spokeswomen lived in very liberal West Coast towns for some reason.  These weren't people that were going to understand the life of poor or working class fat people.  They didn't understand the health horrors of severe obesity. 

Stories like this one bug me with these plus sized women going to Disney World. This article tries to  make looking fat look easy and fun.  50 more lbs and even these midsized fat women, would not be able to fit on any of those Disney rides. I'm glad they have fun, all people deserve to have fun. When young I used to go to an amusement park and even in the low 200s had difficulty walking and fitting on rides.  It's too bad Disney World has become so expensive most of the country can't afford the place anymore. I consider it a mousetrap for humans and their cash. 

How do they do all the walking without their feet hurting? Maybe they are wealthy enough to rent or have their own scooters. Even midsized people will get exhausted after a couple miles of walking. These women also are an anomaly to have the financial standing to spend thousands of dollars especially over the 300lb rubicon that brings job discrimination to most. Some of them are in the 200s. Most fat people are poorer. They are not. It's not realistic. Why do they dress like they are 12 years old? How did they have the money to afford Disney World trips in the early days? 

They do show how one can still live life in the midsizes, but I worry for them and others, if the weight goes up, the fun ends. 

Back to Marilyn Wann. It's kind of scary she never adjusted her message. Why not? Didn't she meet any fat people like me or do they simply not exist in her world. They probably don't especially if she lives in a wealthy West Coast city. People on disability checks don't live in towns that expensive unless they got in early to subsidized disabled housing. She may never run into anyone like that. 

It does bug me that over 10 years later, she sticks by the same opinions with no adjustment. She never visited that bariatric nursing home? Yes, the weight loss industry has failed us all, but ignored here, is that people did get far fatter and sicker in America. "Fat American" became more of a trope as even other countries like Europe who outlaw certain additives to their food and have more reasonable lifestyles, realize something went very wrong here as Americans got fatter and sicker. 


Advancing illness across the board.....

I tried to point this out to a few on and off, but got ignored. I have noticed, that young people, SOME seem to be having worse problems with obesity, where 400lb people and maybe even 500lb people aren't as rare as they used to be. When I hit the supersizes, I was extremely rare. In the 1990s, you just didn't see 400lb people. I hit the stratospheres, so I was stared at but 400lbs used to be a weight people would stare at you. Nowadays, you can go to an average Walmart and find someone over 400lbs within 15 minutes. This is now worse then it was in the 2010s.

The poorer the town, the easier it is to find a supersized person. There are more fat people. This may change as economy sinks, and food becomes less affordable. I am not sure if they will unload more cheap processed crap on us though or if the broken metabolisms will bring more obesity and bloating from malnutrition that is already rife.  Poverty made me fatter so anything can happen. 

For years, I wrote about how I hoped attitudes would change towards obesity and there would be more truth out there. It hasn't happened. I'm happy that there's more nice clothes to buy for the ones that can afford it in bigger sizes and a few young fat women in the zine world and other places who can defend themselves a bit better and discrimination at least in some circles [not the work world still] is frowned upon but very little else has changed. Everyone's entrenched in their camps and too many are still making profit. The size acceptance world runs cover for the increasing illness and obesity for the corporations whether knowingly or unknowingly. From what I can tell, their numbers have shrunk and outside of a few liberal niches, they became an ignored "fringe" group.

People ran to acceptance, because they don't want to be discriminated against or treated like trash. What else do people do when the answers given constantly fail? Even radical acceptance people teach acceptance if you fail to SOLVE a problem. That's why size acceptance came into being in the first place. [Caveat here, I don't consider weight a problem until it interferes with walking and health but it definitely does by a certain weight, I would say 300lbs for most] That's another thing never addressed, why do all the diets fail? The response on the other side is weak too. 

 I am against discrimination, but they silenced the voices that demanded answers as to why everyone was getting so fat and sick. The diet industry can go to hell, they profited off us and lied. They blamed and shamed me for years, while setting me up for failure. Their weight loss garbage never worked on me. I needed a working body, stability without trauma, better food and things I was not able to access years ago. The whole thing has formed a control matrix of madness. 

I don't diet, weight watchers and the rest of it is a joke. I wish I could afford a decent gym and still feel sorry Covid knocked me out of Planet Fitness, but now the chronic fatigue has left me overwhelmed on most days anyway. Just getting done what I need to has been harder and harder while allowing some spoons for art projects and endeavors.  I left the diet industrial complex long ago. Whatever weight loss happens in me is usually the result of medical care and for medical reasons, that includes my old 250lb weight loss too. My last weight was 460/462. I got old while fat and well I know I am never going to be thin at this conjecture in life so I accepted some reality. My eating is more rigid due to endless allergies [no potatoes since 1996], diabetes, financial concerns, gluten free, and kidney problems then most humans. I delay food when I can, to lower calories, like this morning I ate at noon and blood sugar was 110. Staying alive from diabetes means no sugar or very little, and eating regular meals. There's a point a person can only do what they can. Gluten free has changed some of the landscape and doctors already have lowered some of my prescriptions for vitamins or altered dosages due to improving malabsorption.

Being fat cost me big. If a person has a normal body and can avoid obesity and eat normal and move normal, do what you can. Live a basic life-style and avoid diets, ultra-processed food and metabolism drops. Make nutrition part of your life. Size acceptance people would not like me saying this but "tough". I have faced enough rejection for obesity in one lifetime. At least now I don't have to put up with as much BS as when I was young. Few are shouting "Fatty-Fatty Two by Four" at a woman on walker with multiple handicaps. Getting old when fat sucks. That's another thing no one talks about, the mobility issues, and the issues that surround "peeing", and UTIs. Getting old is better than the alternative, but the smaller someone is, let's be real, the easier their life is.

 It can get complicated for me lately, how much is chronic fatigue/lupus-related problems, Lipedema/deafness/autism/autoimmune problems or how much is from being fat? I can still walk but am so tired. However being fat is hard, if one can avoid it do so. Young people even if they are in the midsized categories should be cognizant of weight maintenance and prevention. AKA you may be a large functioning person but you don't want to turn into a larger non-functioning person. Some here may say, but Peep you have a lot more wrong with you than being fat, and it's true. Lipedema changes a lot of the story too, but I don't want anyone else to suffer what I did from misdiagnosis. The young need warned of what can happen even if other medical problems influence their weight so they can be discovered. 

You miss out, and if someone doesn't have to, and can get their body in order with a decent lifestyle and avoiding crap American food, do it. My obesity was off the charts. I don't know the exact numbers but I suspect only one in 5 million people hit 700lbs. That's why I use that number. Maybe with the increasing obesity the number isn't as unique anymore. I lost my career, family--they were narcissistic jerks, but the obesity was part of the story, where I was an "embarrassment" they wanted as little do with as possible. There's no coming back from that. Their betrayal can never be answered for. I wouldn't wish obesity on my worse enemy of this degree.

I haven't eaten a hamburger in 12 years except ONE bite of a hamburger patty--too small to affect my kidneys. I haven't eaten a piece of pie in 3 years and pie before then was a once every 6 months affair. So my life already is several  "diets" running in tandem. Try gluten free, that removes so many foods it's not funny. I don't believe in CICO, or the diet industry. I still believe we have been fattened up by toxic food, plastics, obesogens, stress, poverty and more.

 America is not normal, all we have to do is look at other countries to see that people come by their normal bodies far easier and they aren't beating themselves up to do it or spending 5 hours a day at the gym. Sadly while I agree with the fat acceptance movement at stopping discrimination and protesting some of the evils of the diet industry, they have done a lot of harm slamming the door on investigating why everyone is getting so fat and sick and ignoring the reality of the poisonous environment we all live in today. The young are not doing well and they deserve better. We need truth for healthier lives. 

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Fat People are Hard to Kidnap!



A Peep from 2002, front page of comic dairy sketchbook. 


I'm going to share some writing here, the stuff I may try to publish will remain private for now.  I wrote this recently for my writer's group. 


Fat People Are Hard to Kidnap!

They won’t be able to lift me up, I’m too heavy!

 Fat, plump, big boned, fluffy, corpulent, fatso, huge, supersized, infinity-sized.

  You are your own planet with billowing tons of flesh pouring out of its cup to claim you against your will.

 Fat people are impossible to pick up. 

 Calories in and out supposedly control it all but bodies don’t run like cars no matter what the Weight Watchers point system says.

 Why doesn’t the diet magic happen for us all among all the diminishing nearly thin people. No one believes you used to weigh 200lbs more.

 Stephen King called huge people monstrous. The Witch who said Fatter instead of Thinner unloaded her curse with a bony finger. A puff of smoke and 30lbs a month poured in.  The deliverance minister said Satan sent you your body. Your soft arms hug your husband tight, why is round always bad?

The doctors want to experiment, cut, slice dice and throw your stomach away even though food tastes like cardboard and you haven’t eaten a fish, a potato or a hamburger in more than 10 years. You refused Phen-Fen not wanting to be a lab rat, the acupuncture failed too.  Tell the 90lb medical student who graduated last in the class, it’s L. I. P. E. D. E. M. A. not Lymphedema though that comes to the party too. Their blank eyed stare condemns you with visions of those inhaling whole pizzas on My 600lb Life.

A body full of oceans operates different. Who grows old at this size? Make sure you prove them wrong. 
 
 Metabolism a word they forgot long ago.  Lumbering side to side every movement seems to take 20 thoughts but you’re “lazy” not to move more.

Fat is always 57 even when you’re 29!
   
Shave your “beautiful” face that very old women always praised in your youth asking why don’t you force your body to match it?

 The fat boy in Matilda hated that chocolate cake and Mrs. Trunchbull was 50lbs away from putting the shot putt away for good.

  Augustus Gloop wants revenge for chemical farming GMOs and high fructose corn syrup. Factory Farms and Glyphosate sends his blood pressure soaring. Willy Wonky was a skinny penny pinching crack dealer and coke head preaching abstinence at the factory. There's no real gardens among the sickly sweet lollipops.

 National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance or N.A.A.F.A. showed the way out of diet hell but Health at Any Size ignored the obvious. Supersized People don’t run marathons. No one asked why so many grew so fat no matter what they did. They ate bacon and eggs in the 50s, and lived life, their bodies not betraying. 

 Eyes cross from hunger, lunch is 4 hours away.

 Thin Jane in tight yoga pants ate her apple that morning she feels fine, intermittent fasting brings her self pride. It brings you the floor and funny colors in your vision. You drink the glass of water to smother hunger pain but it never works.

You eat lunch they desire you feel guilt with every bite. Boiled cabbage and eat tofu but look like you did other things. 

A rare fat foodie rejecting GMOs, you desire the wild sour dough bread and the seitan made with parsnips. Jars of wheat germ, hummus, and mushrooms of every sort populate your food imagination. The clown with red shoes brings disgust.

Wear your ruby lips and poufy hair to ring your wide round face, short heeled shoes and be vivacious or else.

 Whitney Thores dancing as fast as she can. Chris Farley fell through the jolly trap. He didn’t want to be the class comedian anymore. There’s too many fat people to give the acting job to one in a fat suit!

 Wear hot pink like fat activist Marilyn Wann, screaming fat is healthy when you want to wear black, and walk for miles instead. No one chooses this. 

 A thin woman in Japan on Youtube eats crisps, fried chicken, curries, burdock root, udon noodles, bonito flakes, tofu, a sweet every afternoon with milk tea, and never gains weight. Obesity is a disease of lack not abundance. America grows fatter year by year while starving for real food.
 
The Roulette wheel broke in the matrix and spun onto circus fat lady. Thin women in slacks with legs crossed drink coffee nimbly eating a piece of pie. The spigot filled up the lower body like a giant balloon ready to burst.

Peter Griffin goes on many adventures, but fat people don’t fit in kayaks.

 You can’t stop living for thin tomorrows knowing the fat reality is what you have.

Whose bright idea was it to swell humans up so it would be hard for them to walk? Does God listen to the prayers of fat women? Preacher told the church on the day you missed the revival, Gluttons don’t see heaven, they’ll be burning with the adulterers. That huge woman has the door of heaven closed for good! There's no barbecue in hell!.

Everyone loves a jolly fat woman arms brimming with cakes and children and Mother Earth nurturing, not a childless serious poet who wanted a body to match her art and books. A hyperlexia brain in a cumbersome box. The Gnostics were right to see the body as a prison, spirit imprisoned in flesh.

 

Friday, October 1, 2021

Whitney Thore and The Life of Fat Women



Sometimes there's far more wrong than being fat. That applies to Whitney Thore, she has many problems in addition to obesity. Hey that's true for my life, I deal with a lot more then being five hundred pounds on both the emotional and physical front. Just becoming deaf, is pretty big, and maybe I should post about that a bit. 

  My concerns about this show, is that it puts fat women in such a bad light. It doesn't offer us help or anything concrete to look to.  It's entertainment but what kind of messages about fat people is this show putting out? Is the public going to become more sympathetic to us or less?  Whitney has a lot more problems then just the obesity. The show also shows the limits of the "fat and sassy" stuff. Remember the years when I got in debates with size acceptance people for talking about the limitations of HAES and when I told Marilyn Wann to go visit a nursing home with super-fat people?

On a recent show, Whitney Thore was shown taking a trip with a Fat Women Traveling Group. It exposed a lot to me. Here's a caveat, being so different, I would not fit into the fat woman group either. I am on the autistic spectrum and have anxiety disorders.  Obviously people who can afford travel and a trip like that are in different shape to me. The women seem nice but I am not into twerking and there's no bathing suits that would fit me. Damn I loved the tricycles, I want one, wish I could afford one. You know I found a bicycle company about a year ago for fat people, they even go up to 550lbs.

You can see her problems right there next to them all. She's pretty, she's actually made up well, and all the women were wearing very nice clothing, and looked great. But you can see the personality stuff. You can tell they almost feel sorry for her. Such as when she is talking about her Frenchman. You can see their unease and worry. The immaturity is glaring.

One fellow fat traveler, Rebecca was trying to warn her, like you are falling into this same trap with the guy in France again like with Avi. Rebecca had dated and been conned by Avi too. Being fat you have to be careful in the dating world and I had exploitive men try to come after me too when I was young.

If you are Super-fat, toxic men will try and mess with you. I had strange men attempt stalking on me and other crazy stuff. As past readers here know, I was raised uber Catholic even though I deconverted from family's church which meant I was a late life shy virgin and so not as likely to have sex with them. I also was too autistic for the exploitive men to understand or get with.  These men fortunately rejected me for my weirdness and for being a bookworm.

I was able to avoid exploitive men though or being used by one, and married my first love, but these special circumstances protected me. Many fat women sadly have to deal with these kind of men. Well all women do but with super fat women the risks are higher. How come Whitney doesn't talk honestly about this? She encourages the exploitation of fat women by toxic men in her own man and baby hunger. She's a walking cliche of the desperate fat spinster. She dates men who dump her for thin women, ignores the guy [Lenny] whose actually physically attracted to her and makes the worse dating choices possible. 

 She's definitely no feminist rebel against the system on our behalf. She's taking the crumbs and that makes me mad. I wish we had a fat strong women who wouldn't take crap from men. This is the worse personality for young fat women to watch and be instructed on love lives. This may sound weird from deconverted me but perhaps the nuns and others who instilled all these high ideals in me about love, protected me from some of the worse.  

Toxic men do prey on super fat women. They tried it with me and failed. Rebecca was trying to break through Whitney's wall, because it seemed like she learned her lesson and Whitney was just repeating the same mistake. I got frustrated because I wanted Rebecca to be more direct but she did at least get Whitney to ask if the Frenchman was another AVI....Well yes.

The other women do seem to have more sense of self, and career success and a presence. I do envy their confidence. I see Whitney lacking. Whitney tries too hard. While Whitney has a TV show and fame, she lacks this inner peace and stamina inside, that the other fat women have. It is something I have had to work on, like I got to the edges of it via ACON recovery and going no contact from abusers. I do think of recovery messages all the time in my head. I think Whitney should go into therapy. She is messed up inside too from feeling like she is "not enough", that will mess people up. 

Whitney I think has something odd with the parents she needs recovery from. They don't seem overtly "abusive" [Whitney was never hit, or yelled at or stuff like that as far as we know] but there's some weirdness with Babs I pick up on. I read Babs as having some elements of covert narcissism that have carried over to Whitney. Babs comes out with passive aggressive stuff all the time with a dark undertone. One thing to notice with Babs is while she appears "nice" there are a lot of disguised comments, like compliments with a bite, is the best way I can describe it. Babs has poor boundaries too always saying sexual things that are over the top too, Babs doesn't touch people but crosses people's boundaries that way--the apple may not have fallen far from the tree.

Whitney could have been in a golden child role. Whitney obviously believes she has to perform to please them. She is in this weird trap. It's given her drive, and ironically fame, but she is having problems with all her relationships and doesn't have a calm or peaceful presence.

You can tell she is comparing herself to these women and considering herself not to be "enough", the jealousy is busting out from her to the immense. I am a 4 on the Enneagram, we can be jealous types and it is a "shadow" I have to deal with but damn she is so jealous of them, it's insane, like green eyed monster has taken over, and scared not to be the center of attention. This goes with her lack of inner fortitude. Something is missing there. I see a nice group of women, and she is there to compete and one up them all. They can pick up on it too.  They can see her emotional abuse fueled shame and other problems. They ask her to teach them some dancing but instead she twerks around and destroys personal bodily boundaries slapping all the women on the butt.

I do think there could be some implicit personality disorder as discussed here. The top theories are BPD and NPD, she seems to show multiple narcissistic traits, and that "hot" and "cold" stuff.  She seems to fear abandonment and is unable to spend time alone.  This explains a lot of the weirdness with Buddy where one minute he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and the next she turns on him putting him down. The clinginess, endless demands, loudness, crossing of boundaries and the constant quests for every room to have her as the center of attention, all speak to some sort of personality disorder.

She idealizes Buddy and then trashes him all within 20 minutes. I am often curious at Buddy's past, did he face abuse growing up? It makes me wonder why he is in the abusive dance with her too. One thing with people abused when young is the dysfunctional relationships and even friendships can continue late into adulthood.  This happened to me. Someone taught Buddy that this was how one was supposed to be treated though I think sobriety and probably "recovery" classes are waking Buddy up. I was in a depression recovery and peer group a few years and it helped wake me up to get out of abusive relationships including friendships.

She treats her friends horribly. I feel bad for Ashley and Heather because I keep thinking betrayal is coming girls, unless they remain "mirrors".

I question this show a lot, but sometimes even ask "Why was this person chosen as the example for living happy while fat?" It could be called "My Big Fat Miserable Life." She has a TV show and fame, and you can tell she doesn't feel like "enough" and she has some problems. I think she needs to address. Being super fat can mess people up. You know I deal with some crazy stuff because of it but she's not in a good place at all. 

Fat, sassy and active is possible at stable midsized weights. some of the women at the Fat Ladies Traveling group were midsized and looked like they could maintain a life, though some better focus on weight stability to make sure this does not change. Some were above 300, and probably most likely would face some health issues. 

Rebecca however is near disability, and large enough to be disabled if she is not very soon. I could wear Rebecca's clothing, I have more of a hanging stomach from my fatter past. She looks like she weighs in the high 400s to even low 500s. My last weigh in was 515lbs. Rebecca seems to be a very nice person, and I wish she was the star of this show. 

As people here know I have CFS and complex autoimmune problems most people have never heard of even beyond the Lipedema stage 4.  Yesterday I went to get a blood test, did some gardening --tearing out my cucumber vines that died, two veggie stands, a small estate sale, and cooked curry for dinner. I am exhausted today and in bed, because my swelling got out of control. Add in autism. Autism and autoimmune diseases go together too. 

I am seeing a nutritionist for the extreme uric acid they now think is from a rare inherent condition instead of anything I am eating and focusing now on getting more help. The rehab and clinic thing is complicated. I'm talking now to a nutritionist and others about what I should do. I may need to explore going to a pain clinic. Every time I try to be active at all, the pain gets out of control. The joint and other pain is hurting me. I am being what my brain calls "lazy" right now but laying in this bed has dampened down the pain. It creates this weird cycle in my head that troubles me. There's times I am literally limping at the end of a day.

One issue for me in the size acceptance world, as people here know who have read my much early articles on this blog from the early 2010s, is too many of them denied the health effects of severe obesity.  While I have seen some improvements in this arena, Whitney is definitely still stuck in the old mode. Does being superfat have to be tied to denying reality? Sure I can't stand the diet brokers and fat bigots either but isn't she playing into their hands?

I remember those days still where I told Marilyn Wann on a online message board under another name that I was 700lbs and dying. She invalidated me. I did have many things wrong and I went on to live for 25 plus more years. 

Whitney doesn't know it but she is very close to being disabled. 50 more lbs. and she may not be able to walk. I was very tall, almost 6 feet when young so could carry a lot more weight. I lost a massive amount of height and am only 5 foot 7 inches now. Whitney is short as hell so 400lbs on her, would be equal to 500lbs on a taller person. Whitney's clothes would fit me but would all be "too short". If she is as "wide" as me, she is in big time trouble. I still hold to my theory that she has Lipedema. I could be wrong but I noticed the tell-tale sign of leg lumpiness, though she doesn't seem to have the ankle cuffs, when she attempted to go tubing on her birthday.

Her body is breaking down you can see it, and age worsens this. One thing that is unusual about me is I am into health food, and will not eat processed food, desserts, or "normal American food", I already would be dead. I don't see Whitney eating vegetables, salads or cooked food, but microwaved crap out of cans. How come we never see WHAT she eats? That seems to point to some possible problems with food addiction, we don't know her eating and other habits. If she was open with those, it would help others too. How come she shows no interest in cooking, eating, or nutrition? Whitney could even prove what she eats via her show and talk about weight in a honest fashion. If she has satiety issues and hunger problems she could talk about it. I told my nutritionist, I can stick to regular meals during the day, but I have intense hunger all the time. Lay it out on the table. Why hide everything? If she didn't hide stuff she could either get help for medical problems underlying the obesity, or get help for any would be food addiction. 

Whitney could lose her show, from a health crisis alone, a hurt leg, cellulitis bout, or other health issue. She can't keep up now, and age alone will end all the feigned athleticism. She could end up on a walker too. I think she needs a cane now for balance and to walk around safely, but some may disagree with me. I have watched her at the gym and she seems to do little cardio. I am not in shape, but determined even when I did the gym, that one needed to do a sustained activity for 15-20 minutes at least to get some heart and lung benefits. I don't see her doing this. She does a lot of weights and grunts and pulls but no sustained cardio. That was always strange to me, when they showed her exercise segments.  

She is in denial about how bad of shape she is in. They do this to people in size acceptance world, I used to protest it and HAES. There was a healthism in that world and still is where only the healthy are embraced, I used to tell people in NAAFA at 700lbs I was sick and dying, and they'd get pissed because I wasn't presenting the picture of the happy sassy fat woman. As people know my own history with the size acceptance movement is very fraught with controversy. Don't get me started how the fat and sassy crap doesn't work for those of us on the autistic spectrum.

Whitney is stuck dancing as fast as she can. She would do a service more to other fat people and herself if she got real. I have needed endless medical support to even stay alive this long. You don't want to know how many specialists I see. I have something like 7 doctor appointments in the next month. She actually has more health resources then me, she doesn't have autoimmune disease, she can breathe properly [the gym wasn't even possible for me until I was on a strong enough COPD medicine], she has money, she has a loving family. She needs to go to some damn doctors and therapists instead of playing at being a trainer. She is close to being disabled. When that happens, there will be no more show. She could help a lot of fat people having such a platform. It could have been used for so much better. 


Tuesday, November 5, 2019

The Lipedema World Needs Fat Liberation




I thought when I found the Lipedema community it would be a place of support, but while I have found some support, friends and answers there's a lot of disappointment. The fat hatred in the Lipedema world on Facebook is so immense, I can't take it. It began a drain on my self esteem. All they care about is diets. The toxicity especially for supersized people is actually worse then any I've encountered in any previous mainstream diet program.

I'm done with the online boards. I'll leave them up for any discussion of compression etc, that may be of interest for practical health purposes but there's no support there, just weight loss competitions. This country is so brainwashed about a variety of issues. Things are worsening for fat people.

Even though Lipedema is known not to be caused by overeating, the whole Lipedema world is obsessed with weight loss, to the point, I believe it is delaying a real cure, for our failing lymphatic systems. Some play the mind game of telling us we must do everything possible to lose our "non-lepidemic fat". They play games telling us that fasting is not dieting. Some seemed to believe that if you stop eating after dinner, you will automatically lose weight, every diabetic on earth with any interest in controlling blood sugars, does not eat after dinner. 
On top of that many of the things they say will "help" Lipedema are things that are accessible only to the middle class and beyond. like yoga classes and special foods. Maybe this is because it is a woman's disease. I have had to distance myself from Lipedema boards because the constant drum of diets, fat hatred and more led me to more despondency, and depression rather then support and hope.

Watching a huge litany of smaller lower stage Lipedema women post photos of their starvation induced weight losses affected me very negatively. The showing off never ends.  Most would lose some fat weight while their legs stayed big but everything was focused on getting smaller. I noticed with time, most stage 4 ultra fat people like me weren't posting pictures anymore. Why would they? We are so beyond the pale no one wants to know. We would be lectured to go starve ourselves. After Lipedema crosses the fibrosis line, weight loss because even more of a pipe dream.  I noticed on several Lipedema boards, that most people over a certain weight disappeared. They noticed they weren't welcome and probably they got tired of being made to feel like "nothing" and sick of the fat hatred like me too. One irony is one board admin, wrote that laughing and reducing stress would help Lipedema. I have no argument with that, but how will that happen when life is nothing but a list of goal posts we never can meet?

One medical professional who has not seen me in a year, said "Wow you have lost weight!" but then I found out I had gained 5lbs in the last 6 months. I believe I HAVE lost weight on top, but due to the swelling it's not showing in the weight numbers. I would weigh a 1000lbs if there was no Flexitouch or compression in my life. Now my weight due to fluids can differ up to 20-30lbs so I try not to get bent out of shape over weight that can come from a day's bloating, and try to keep it to a baseline, but I weighed 525lbs and was 520lbs 6 months ago. I was 534 a year ago.

I still go to the gym. I like the gym though at times my mind seems to enjoy it more then my body. A cold can throw me off too. Late last week I was there, coughing my brains out, and my lungs sometimes fight me too much.  I am still going and will be there tomorrow and I have had to buckle down on food for a variety of other medical reasons, but weight remains scary and a problem for me. Just to keep diabetes and thrush at bay means forgoing all sugar, and I don't mean just giving up desserts, but giving up juice, or even cereals or yogurt with too much sugar in it. I had to give up beef completely all beef even lean beef. My diet is already extreme to stay alive. But in the "nothing's ever good enough" world we live in, I am supposed to get all these magic results. I ate a baked chicken breast and salad for dinner. [blood sugar 116 this morning]Well no magic is happening. The false promises of the diet world  are like religion.

I was really busy last week, for me. My body bloated and hurt like hell yesterday. The pain is not doing good things to my mind. Every time I am "active" or play the part of the good fatty who is "not lazy", the pain wall can be immense. They won't give me pain killers citing my severe COPD and telling me most would put me into respiratory failure.

Other times I just want to "have a life" and go DO things, because I want a life outside of bed and illness. Chronic fatigue is there too, playing it's part. There's times I am so exhausted, just to do basics, it's like I am going insane.  I am shutting down into weird stoic like states, I notice with the hearing and more, it's like I can barely keep up.  If I was not married without a husband's help there's no way I could even manage in life. It's like living in a punishment factory.

There's times I feel like crying from pain, but a certain emotional numbness is taking over. Today I am in bed. I have noticed every time I do a lot for me in a week. My UCTD skin sores and rest go nuts. My mouth breaks out in ulcers.  I learned to hide pain and not complain in real life, to keep narcissists from feeding on me, but it's doing weird stuff to my personality. So I have a bad Lipedema day, my husband got me to the gym last week, I sold some 50/50 donated art work at a church rummage sale, I had to do something household related,  I went to my scholarship art class I take every fall, and well I collapse into bed after nebulizing my lungs, wrapping my legs like I always do and spending time in my Flexitouch, and read these Lipedema boards that tell me "nothing I do is ever enough". 

Now instead of Weight Watchers or Atkins, we are all supposed to only eat one meal a day, or go days without water--dangerous, or eat no carbs with imagined fantasies of ketosis, and go on extreme diets. To please who? Our corporate masters? I can tell 99.9 percent of the Lipedema world has never heard of fat liberation or size acceptance. Thinner people rule in a status level with the stage ones holding court over the stage fours like me. Our exit from the health support boards does not surprise me. I was banned from more then a couple of the boards for questioning the diets, and other insanities. Too many are  ready to make profit, off suffering people. On one board for severe stage Lipedema, my arguments with a woman selling "shakeology" got me banished a few years ago that diet I guess has already fallen off the fad list.  The voicelessness of anyone on these boards who tries to talk about supersized realities, is immense. You are either doing extreme things to take weight off, or you simply don't matter.

With my malnutrition, anemia and hunger levels, all the people giving me the constant litany to "eat less and you will lose weight" can go fuck off. It doesn't work in this body. I am pissed off, that things like intermittent fasting and those horrible diets I wrote about the other week are being pushed so heavily. That's what they got? Haven't obesity researchers proven dieting fails most people? So what, Lipedema people are supposed to play the 95% losing roulette wheel too? You see all the ones in their early heady days of weight loss, but how many drop off when the metabolisms drop? I wrote to one true believer, that I used to be MIDSIZED TOO in my 20s too. I weighed 200 and something pounds and worked and walked for three miles for fun. Then the HUGE weight gain came. Some of them probably will stay mild, they won't become severe, but the lack of validation is immense. I used to be young too, thinking life would turn out differently, and that I could "diet" all my weight off too.

I find myself wondering did I lose fat weight on top but the stuff on the bottom stayed? My MLD even told me by measurements I took a liter off one leg and the other one was smaller? She told me everything was doing great. Measurements seem more accurate then weight does in my book. Was that from an extra water pill that day? I kept myself wrapped and never missed Flexitouch. Yesterday I was sitting up for a volunteer thing, I had to go crash in bed by 4pm, and while my legs stayed down from compression, my stomach and hips grew so huge, I could watch them grow, just from sitting up. That stuff seems to be worsening. I swear I would weigh a thousand pounds if I did not have a Flexitouch machine to take it down every night.

Was the scale even accurate? So much of this confuses me as you know. I went on another scale around 4 months ago that said I was still over 500. I had other people tell me I looked smaller on top too not just the medical professional.

Most of the Lipedema world remains entrenched in the weight loss advice of the year 1980. Yeah that's when Atkins was big and supposedly Atkins-aka Keto will save us all from the misery of our body. This is hard to take. There are times where I wonder if I will go mad knowing the more I do, means the more pain, swelling and fatigue. I want a damn life too, and how would you feel if every time you tried to be a normal person and did things, that meant pain and fatigue so scary you thought you were going to die? Add to my mental health list, that my body was used against me by a hateful family that rejected me to the core of my being.  It occurs to me that if I was thin, diagnosed with chronic fatigue, I would not be judged for having to be in bed or lectured on how inactivity worsens weight gain. My doctor means well, he knows and admits I have extreme issues but I know he sees bed-bound fat people everyday being a housecall doctor and probably knows the cusp of mobility and immobility at these great weights is a fine line. I have been told bluntly I am the most mobile one at this size. Even when I am housebound I track the weather  to make sure to go out on the days I can, so I do not lose mobility or stamina and it can go fast.

And then on top of it, I see these health support boards, that tell me I am "not doing enough". You are still fat, we don't care that you cooked cauliflower the other day or are eating apples or gave up all sugar, everything is about weight loss and that number on the scale. It's like religion, all the false promises, heaven on earth, do these steps and your body will supposedly get smaller and you can join the thin minions? You are promised deliverance for your compliance. Everything is about being thin and smaller and fitting in. Their invalidation of my experiences and talking about how my body operates is harmful to my life, so I am going to walk from their boards and go to a read-only status which I have been mostly on for months.

Years ago on this blog I wrote against NAAFA and wrote about my concerns about size acceptance, since my deconversion from fundamentalist Christianity some of my attitudes have changed about facets of size acceptance I disagreed with.  I am RETURNING to full blown fat liberation. How do I write, I "get it now".  Even Marilyn Wann doesn't annoy me so much anymore. Supersized fat people have the right to be happy too. Maybe some believe our lives should be nothing but austerity and suffering but forget that!

I regret how fundamentalist Christianity gave me so much confusion about fat rights. At this point in life, I know I am never going to be thin.  The diet queens and judgers just make me miserable. I got to get out of the few years of life what I have left supersized or not. The diet dreams died for me long ago.  I wish that I was not silenced by so many at least I have my own blog as a platform. I will still go to the gym because I like it and it helped me breathe a bit better, and cook and eat vegetables--I'm adding more vegan items to the monthly menu, but at this point the fat haters can go jump in the lake. I am sick of their crap, sick of their false promises and sick of their judgment.

I got to get away from these people, they are harming me. I have no voice in these circles, I figured that out. If I learned anything as a recovery ex-scapegoat and ACON, get the hell away from people who make you feel like shit. Don't try to change their minds. I write this article for the fellow Lipedemics who like me realize something is very wrong in the Lipedema world. Surely there are stage 4 people reading those Facebook "support" diet sell-a-thon" Lipedema boards, who may even weigh more then I do, or who have lost their mobility or who are laying in a nursing home right now. If mobile on walker me, felt so bad, how bad did they feel?

People are getting fatter and that it is due to toxins in our earth and society which are growing and worsening the adulteration of food is still a problem. The hatred of fat is about authoritarianism, imposed false beliefs and the expectation everyone conform and comply and lies about how all bodies work the same. How many of us with severe Lipedema suffered for years while being undiagnosed and told that diets would save us? While health is touted, I realized no one really cares about health, when the focus is weight loss and techniques that have been known to fail for over 40 years. There is an utter feeling of betrayal that so many in the Lipedema world are invested in selling diets that are doomed to fail.  People should pay attention to eating healthy, but Lipedema is an illness. It did stuff to my body I DID NOT CHOOSE. We are being held back from real answers by all the fat bigots and profiteers in the diet industry complex.

Weight Bias and Lipedema


Mental Health and Severe Lipedema

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Marilyn Wann Still Ignores the Health Problems of Supersized People

 Marilyn Wann Argues with Canadian Obesity Network

I'm no advocate of weight loss surgery. It's like playing the roulette. Some of the results are very very bad. I can understand someone choosing to spin that wheel. I have chosen NOT to in my case due to other health conditions, extreme nutritional shortages I suffer from now from low vitamin D, anemia to low B vitamins and past suffering from digestive problems. My digestion goes funny quick. I puke very easily. That said, why harass people who were severely overweight who did it? I warn about it but I am not going to get down on anyone who wanted to spare themselves suffering from severe obesity. I get tired of Marilyn Wann acting like the fat life is so great and there is still that strain of delusion with us super-sized people. She ignores all the bad health problems, very fat people get and she sounds more and more delusional by the year. I told her I was dying at near 700lbs and I was. I'm scared now because I am not losing weight but my metabolism must be shot to hell. You know it's bad news when there's more fat people telling her how sick they were getting from their weight and she simply IGNORES them. It would be better for something better then weight loss surgery to be researched so I don't support the other side completely either.

Friday, August 19, 2016

She told me the same almost 20 years ago

Marilyn Wann: "I find it helpful to blame the sad feelings on fat oppression, not on whatever I happen to weigh" and tells a miserably obese/immobile woman not to lose weight. (Bonus! Further Gold's-related whining in the comments.)

(source)21h
Found on Fatlogic I was on Marilyn Wann's message board near my peak weight. I believe I even still lived in Chicago when I started there. She gave me the same line as I was dying and at my highest weight. I got banned when I told her to go visit a bariactric nursing home. The CICO believers have done me no favors and neither did the likes of spoiled wealthy shill Marilyn Wann.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Fat Activists Trying to Prove They Can Exercise Like Thin Athletic People



There's a new trend out there, and Whitney Thore followed it too, where fat activists are getting into exercise and doing 5Ks and proving how "healthy" they are and that by doing so they will "prove" it is great to be fat. I do support fat people and others exercising as best they can and doing what they can, but there is something strange about the constant push for proving yourself worthy as a fat person via "fitness" and athletic events by some fat activists. It seems to be a new and strong trend out there.

Some are claiming one fat activist named Ragen Chastain "cheated" on a 5 K race.

https://truthaboutragen.wordpress.com/2016/06/30/road-to-tempe-2016-ragen-the-cheater/

I don't know if Ragen cheated or not but I can't walk 5 miles. Maybe she got in, wanted to "prove herself" as so much of her blog is centered on proving herself to be a great athlete, knew she was in over her had and gave in to temptation.  I'd be putting my thumb out for a car ride! But something worries me here, what are the exercising until they drop fat activists trying to prove? That being fat doesn't slow one down? That reality doesn't exist? That they have to match everyone else in athletic achievements to be worthy?

And why do the CICO believers always claim all fat people are lying, what part don't they GET that even fat people who bang their heads on the wall to go feel the burn, and LIVE the lifestyle they are often told to go live like running 5 Ks often are fighting a losing battle with their own bodies!

I had this discussion at that website:

ME: I am confused as to why these large fat people feel they have to compete in races to prove themselves worthy. I have spoken about some of the healthism in size acceptance. It seems there is some dishonesty in their desire to “prove that they are like everyone else”.

I can’t walk a mile even perhaps a block on a good day and it used to be a lot less then that. I walked some yesterday, and had a ton of errands to do on a non-housebound day and my stage IV Lipedema kicked my butt and gave me horrible pain–I swell up terrible from exertion and could barely walk by the end of the day with severe pain. Everyday for me is forcing myself to get through in pain. There are women with high stage Lipedema who end up in nursing homes and wheelchair bound through no fault of their own. The whole exercise and lose weight thing gets subverted on it’s head with this severe disorder. This is a trap I would not wish on my worse enemy. Lipo-lymphedema means all exertion makes my body swell up with fluid.

I believe Whitney Thore has some horrible physical endocrine or other condition, with PCOS can come androgen and other disorders. I don’t know what she eats, but it seems her love for movement and exercise would be taking weight off.

My concern about Ragen is this whole “fat and healthy” thing at all costs. The whole “Im going to compete in a triatholon” bothers me! She’s trying to prove something that is simply not true.

I am looking into joining a gym for the medically fragile hopefully finances will not be a barrier and even there I fear more swelling and bad outcomes but I try. I have done physical therapy to even KEEP walking and yesterday some woman came up to me in shock I can even walk, I was walking through an Aldis I didn’t use to be able to walk in, being told, WOW I am glad you are so brave to keep going. LOL Lady you don’t know the half of the story. She was nice so I don’t blame her.

I wish the fat logic and healthy thin crowd would understand that not all bodies work the same, and many of us have tried to exercise and eat healthy with no where near the same results. The promise of CICO is failing many of us but we just get called liars. Perhaps some of you should ask why are people like Whitney Thore and Ragen holding so much weight on with their desire to exercise all the time?

and I wish that the fat and “I want to walk 5 miles” and prove I’m just like thin people crowd, would get a clue too. Weight does slow people down. I have taken issue with the likes of Marilyn Wann for years. They can’t claim the fat is NOT holding them back. It’s not reality. There is also the healthism and the underlying message that the only good fatty is the one who can walk in triatholons and who will push themselves until they drop like Whitney Thore. My lungs went before I got fat too.

http://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.in/2011/01/health-at-any-size-and-healthism-in.html


CICO BELIEVER: The “promise of CICO” isn’t failing you. You are. Eating less would help your finances, as well as whatever conditions you have. If you can’t affect the calories out then affect the CALORIES IN.

Frankly I don’t care how hard it is for you to put less food in your mouth, do it.


ME: 

I did, it’s not working.

You all adhere to that like a religion. Look at those women, one even danced until she collapsed and ended up in the hospital. They are still fat. Why isn’t the exercise burning any of the fat off? Even if they “overeat” and I don’t know what either eat, shouldn’t it be HELPING the CICO equation?

” Perhaps some of you should ask why are people like Whitney Thore and Ragen holding so much weight on with their desire to exercise all the time? ”

——-

ANOTHER CICO BELIEVER:

Well, for people like Ragen and Whitney it’s because they are both liars and don’t exercise *nearly* as much as they claim. Whitney was a normal weight until her mom stopped cooking her meals. PCOS doesn’t cause that much weight gain, and it also doesn’t cause her to eat a bucket of ice cream as she did on the show. Ragen is just pathological.

It’s true that there are many reasons why people gain weight, or find it hard or impossible to lose it. And yes, that is often overlooked by the fit crowd, especially if they young and healthy themselves. It is frustrating, I get that. I have severe upper back problems myself and it limits everything I do in life, including exercise.

But the reality is that it’s people like Whitney and Ragen and the HAES crowd that are making it difficult for people who do actually have something physically limiting them. They are so loud and so obnoxious that they are warping the whole size acceptance discourse into a fight between fat and fit, with nothing in between and no nuances left. That’s the real shame.

CICO BELIEVER:
Other than those with Prader-Willi or some other mental incompetence there is no reason any person cannot lose weight. Eating less is not some sort of “journey”. It’s something you do because you realize it would be beneficial and then you just do.

These people are phonies but people who believe that they can’t lose weight aren’t any less delusional.

ME:
Sure [I meant to write some here] people can lose weight but keeping it off is another matter. I’m more then 200 down from my peak and have been for over 10 years but I’m still fat. Who would choose to be fat? You act like everyone’s body is the SAME.

ME:
That seems like an extraordinary weight gain just from having someone not cooking for you anymore. When she was a teen, wasn’t she out with friends or buying things in the school cafeteria? Wouldn't she have an eating disorder making her fat if that was her real problem by her teens? PCOS does cause massive weight gains in it’s more severe forms like Hair-An syndrome. She may need androgen blockers, thyroid pills and a full hormonal workup. I have PCOS, [many women with Lipedema can have multiple hormonal disorders including two thyroid disorders in my case]. I hope she isn’t pigging out on camera, I see a show here or there, but none showed eating except once which was some gross banana sandwich. Didn’t she live at home eating the same meals as her thinner parents?

There’s many people failing to lose weight in USA society, 60 percent of the populace. It’s getting worse too and while I have a “rare fat disorder” which Lipedema is in this stage, something more is going on with everyone. I see people getting fatter and see more people at my super-size, when I was a rare bird in the 1990s.. I think the problem is bigger then everyone failing in personal responsibility. I don’t like the HAES crowd for their denial but I am sick of people calling fat people liars and devaluing their experiences like look how [CICO BELIEVER] clings to his ideology like a religion, you lazy fatties can all lose weight. Between two sides, everyone gets fatter and sicker. You are right about the nuances being lost.

Telling people eat less is failing. These women are failing to lose weight even with shown displays of extreme exercise. Something more is going on. Even if Whitney and Ragen ate a lot, shouldn’t all the exercise at least be holding some of the degree of weight gain at bay? Do you believe they are making up the activity levels?

ANOTHER COMMENTER:

Yes they are lying about their activity levels . Whitney may feel she is burning a lot of calories that doesnt make it true.

Ragen is purposely lying as evidenced right here. She did not complete a 5k, she cheated. Intentionally. With the help of another fat person who claims to be active.

Both are still consuming enough calories to remain fat, regardless of the accuracies of their activity levels.

ME:
Dee why is the response to fat people always that they are lying? You have no proof of what they eat or don’t eat. I see two women who seem overly focused on doing activities usually restricted to the thin and healthy, surely this is bringing more burning of calories then sitting at home on the couch. If one cheated, and I don’t know if she did or not, then it sounds like she knew she was in over her head. So what’s happening? Perhaps CICO isn’t as firm of a foundation as you think.

There is some major irony to me here. Fat activists want to be like everyone else, go and try and exercise doing running events and others usually limited to the thin and healthy but at the very least midsized or under people in very good shape.  I am all for people exercising as much as they can and with balance but here we see a tip of the scale to trying to prove themselves at any cost to prove success in athleticism.  There seems an extreme push among some of these size activists to prove they can do everything the same thin people can. The reality is they hit endless walls of physical limitations from their obesity. We see those limitations on Whitney Thore's show in full view.

Exercise is supposed to burn calories. They are trying. For some reason, the above exercise is not having the same effect on their bodies in burning calories. Ragen's blog is full of endless stories of exercise, bicycle riding, marathons, this is not someone who did one walk in a year. She got in the public eye for DANCING. She speaks of training for iron mans and more. Same for Whitney Thore, she's active almost in every show I've seen. She got famous for being a DANCER which takes practice and above exercise. They are both still fat. Whitney is entering the supersizes at around 360lbs and Ragen, I believe is still midsized in the upper 200s, though I see some weight changes in her pictures.

Calling fat people liars who obviously are ATTEMPTING exercise, seems a bit dishonest. I worry about the fact fat activists are so into trying to prove to the world their bodies are just like everyone else and the false myth that fat bodies especially over a certain size range are "healthy" in the same way and I worry about the CICO believers, who just yell at all fat people even ones dedicated to extreme exercise as all being LIARS. Our society is so screwed up. The religion of CICO and ideology of extreme size acceptance collide! 

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Sex Work and Size Acceptance


One thing that is hard about the size acceptance world is if you don't adhere to politically correct extreme neo-liberal politics, you are told you don't belong. Yesterday, I got myself close to a banning on this group board for very super sized women on Facebook with ties to size acceptance for telling them what my opinions on sex work were. They asked first. I have some size acceptance contacts on Facebook but it's difficult. It's like that world wants to shove all it's people into a mold and the dominating brain dead neo-liberal politics have grown more grating to me.  The ideologues have grown worse. Those who do not conform are punished for it. Many of the neo-liberals are far more censoring of others then any book-burning Nazi could hope to be.

 I liked this place at first because these are other people who are over 400lbs, and super fat issues like clothes and health were discussed but why are they involved in such extreme liberal politics? One person agreed with me. Another woman wrote, "maybe they should try to get other skills beyond sex work", and they almost tried to rip her head off!  I have my populist side, I even kind of liked Bernie Sanders even though I didn't agree with everything he supported but these kind of people I can't get on board with.

For years I protested on this blog what I considered the raunchy disgusting side of size acceptance and exposed feeders and fat admirers

Good bye NAAFA!

Chubby Chasers Give Me the Willies

In this discussion some supersized women were discussing their various sex work which include online porn, cam work and phone sex work. One wanted to go back to phone sex work. This is one sad thing I encountered in size acceptance was the many fat women especially women in the greater sizes signing up to do this type of work. I was approached to do phone sex work by one friend I met in NAAFA, and said "No way!", and others came to me asking if I would be willing to do videos and other sex work and gave the same answer.  I would sooner die then sell my body or images of it and during some of the time when people approached me, these were some of my severely poor years. In fact one woman told me I was nuts to stay in such horrible poverty instead of giving in.

 My name became mud within this organization when they realized how conservative I was in this area of life, even prior to me becoming a Christian in 2002. They called me a PRUDE and never let me forget it. Keep in mind by the time I was attending NAAFA meetings, I was an engaged soon to be married woman. The catfisher woman who had ties to size acceptance actually told me one still remembered me and called me "that prude". I was pretty hated. I think I still am. Even this many years later. I was on the Dimensions message board as "Victoria" in the 1990s, I guess I am outing myself here, telling the lot of them they were ruining fat women's lives via their objectification of women and connections to pornography. Christian me wouldn't touch that place with a 10 foot pole today but back then having just had my massive 400lb weight gain, I was looking for other supersized people to talk to online. It looks like nothing has improved even 20 years later. Everything is still as degenerate.

So what I experienced on this board was kind of more of the same. I was referred to as a "shamer" for saying, I was philosophically and spiritually against the concept of sex work and that it was exploitation for super-fat women and economic oppression. After all why were these women running to "this work"? Because of fat discrimination, women who weigh over 400lbs, have such a difficult time in the job market, they see this as their only option. Desperation can drive people to many dark places, but why defend the system and feeling forced to do this work? Instead of fighting for more rights or "disabled" accommodation, they listen to the pied pipers who want to sell images of their super fat bodies to fetishists.

I mentioned sex trafficking to them. It's getting to be a worse problem in America. Even locally they have addressed this issue. Fat people can be sex trafficked too. "Specialty tastes" sell in some underbelly places on our planet. There are people being kidnapped. I know of a story of a superfat woman, being locked in some psychopaths walk-in closet who was abused and used. While the sex work being discussed is not open prostitution on this board, I told them, this is selling sex trafficking as a "choice". Many talked about how dealing with men who fantasized about immobile fat women was hard, and other demanded fetish aspects like feederism was twice as difficult.

They weren't happy with me when I mentioned that in the old days feminists protested the objectification of women and now they were supporting it. I hate modern day feminism, because now with all the sex positivity nonsense, they seem ready to have women sell their bodies to the highest bidders. Why are these women all so eager to be CONSUMED by men? Andrea Dworkin would be spinning in her grave. These women definitely seem to hold no issue in selling their own bodies as a commodity. After you do naked videos and pictures, what else are you doing?

One woman was careful to say "I am not condemning you" but I kept thinking "What are you doing to other fat women?" when you choose to do this work. We already move through a world that sees us as objects not to be respected. As mere bodies where because of our obesity our personhood and souls are obliterated by bigots. The term selling out is a very real one to me.  Being such a poor person myself, I understand economic desperation. Social Security checks aren't that big, and almost impossible to live on, but is this a healthy choice? To sell your soul and body to "making a living"? To allow men to exploit and use you? I saw the lowest vermin of men skulking around size acceptance venues. There are normal men of conscience who prefer bigger women, but these were sociopaths who saw women as mere objects. 

My comment "If anything, those who are healthy enough to work, should be demanding more access to better careers, and opportunities" flopped as well.

as well as stating:

 "I am philosophically and spiritually against sex work"

"Shouldn't women have more options in life rather then total exploitation. Super-fat women are in danger because of the job discrimination and more they face. It's human trafficking sold as a "Choice".

"Contact with wicked perverted men even just verbally and not physically is not healthy for anyone".

I was told that my discomfort was heard but it was not welcome there and that the women in our group who choose do sex work deserve respect and support and that if I could not give it, I needed to stay silent and walk away from the thread. The number of sex workers there was very high. This wasn't just one or two very fat over 400lb women but more then several. In fact they decided at the end of this discussion to open up a sex workers group for fat women.

I probably won't be commenting on that board anymore, it is not a good place for me. It is very sad and disappointing that the attitudes that I faced 20 years ago and protested still are so entrenched within the size acceptance world. Nothing has changed.  Marilyn Wann is a supporter of sex work. The super-fat women I met in size acceptance were busy selling themselves then, and many of the ones I have met online within size acceptance circles are all supporting this.

Frankly it has always sickened me that fat women are seen as a commodity within the size acceptance world. It is self-hatred within, that allows people to debase themselves in a society that almost seems to demand it of them. I was told to take my religion which actually remained unnamed in the context of the discussion but I suppose the word "Spiritually" gave them the tip off, and basically was told to shove it.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Obesity Lies Are Destroying Fat People



This one may anger some size acceptance supporters. While I am against discrimination against fat people I never have been a "fat celebrator". Something is very wrong with so many of us Americans growing so fat, and I stand by my conjecture that the truth is being ignored. The obesity lies rule.



Just like in politics where's there is only two non-choices between the Democrat and Republican parties which both advance tyranny and corporate rule, in the obesity world, we have the diet queens and kings, [aka Fat Logic crowd]  who will tell us it is all a choice, while some of the other side gives us HAES, and tells us we need to "accept and love" being fat.  All I know is being fat sucks. Saying being fat sucks breaks the size acceptance code. Yeah I know it does but there is a place called reality.



I never liked being fat and hate it. I mean this is not a secret on this blog. This has nothing to do with thinking I am ugly. It has everything to do with the sheer mechanics of it all. For me it is not a choice. It causes me pain. When I "exercise" and I do have a rule to take a walk everyday, it means pain, and going off in autopilot just to keep moving and functioning.  Being fat has cost me a lot! I'm never going to sing the joys of fat along with Marilyn Wann. Socio-economically Marilyn Wann never had to worry about stretching a little disability check either.  I will never forget the conversation I had on her forum years and years ago when I was at my peak weight and dying, and given the "size acceptance lines" instead of any empathy. These midsized women can walk, can function, they do not live in my world. Saying you hate being fat and admitting these feelings is not kosher in some areas of the size acceptance world.

This doesn't mean I bow at the feet of the diet industrial complex. Their answers don't work either. Their adherence to CICO like a religion disgusts me. CICO is an absolute joke to me. Some may say "Oh you are an outliner" with your rare fat disorder, but I think it's failing everyone.  I am tired of being called a liar and given a fantasy that does not work. They have their "false religious doctrines" too. They have failed me and millions of others. Diets are like mystery jokes to me. They do not work. I believe even trying to diet severely worsened my diabetes in 2014. I have shrinked down my food even more to control my diabetes and it's been cut down financially and still "nothing". Exercise while I have to do it, just bring more pain and fluids to take off.  In the case of insulin-dependent diabetes, there is no free eating, no pig out a thons if you don't want to die. I had to up the insulin 5 units to stay in the 110-120s for fasting blood sugars.

                                       Why are so many people getting so fat and sick? And why is it to be "accepted" and not fought with "answers" that work?

Given this painful life that has been ruined by fat or  in my case, a rare fat disorder and I still want to pursue an official Dercums diagnosis [one main expert on Lipedema says if you are advanced enough in stage IV, it means Dercums] I don't have much patience with what I see the "normalization" of fat in American society. Just like in politics we are given too non-choices, submit to the diet industrial dreams that don't work for most fat people, or stay fat and be told we have to like it, and "accept it"--the promotion of fat. The two work along aside one another. Sometimes I ask why aren't more fat people like me demanding answers? We are suffering and dying younger. Tight faced grins loving our fat isn't working and the diets are failing. Why am I so alone in this? Why do so few people ask the same questions? 

I guess this is why even the Lipedema world seems hung up on diets, diets, diets to lose "non-Lipedema" fat and specialized liposuction to suck the fluids and fat off still focusing on the fat and on the other hand preaching size acceptance.  Supposedly all these diets from Paleo to Vegan are supposed to rescue me from the ravages of severe Lipedema. How about I'm tired of being fat and get these fluids off me and get my body burning food and working the right way? They work to cure other diseases why not this "rare fat disorder"? There's more to this then the fat, there's the pain, the fat tumors, the fluids, the hormonal imbalances. Wake up people!


Fat people are sliding through the cracks. Being this old, I know people are getting fatter and sicker all over the place. Why is there this acceptance of people getting more fat and sicker, and this being seen as a 'good thing' on one side, and the other side just wants to tell us, it's all our fault, you're not eating and exercising the exact right way! They say "Make changes, and you will be thin", and it's not working!" So we stay fat and we get sicker and are judged and told we are "failing" and one side hates us and thinks we are fat and "lazy losers" and the other side says "Smile, be happy to be fat!" , "Be Fat and Be Proud!","You are a beautiful goddess!" where we have to wear a smile for the rest of the world. "I'm the brave, happy fat woman! I'm an inspiration". Honestly,  I'm sick of it all!

                                                  Sure shame sucks, but as her body grows larger and larger doesn't she want more answers?

There's times I am so angry, I don't even know how to explain it dealing with this garbage.  I am tired of being told I have "control" over this body or that it was my choice and on the other hand being told to "suck it up", "this is your lot" and "you must accept it" is crap too. I spent 17 years of my life trying to get diagnosed with my Lipedema and I almost died several times of sepsis, basically at one point watching a leg almost rot off and my stomach and yes there was the taint of the sweet smell of gangrene around it all. I spent my 20s and 30s constantly in the hospital being told this was "my fault". I know some people read this blog thinking I am a crazy woman, but why don't I get in line and join size acceptance and "be happy to be fat" or shut up and go on some diet and "lose weight". Well the diets don't work and aren't working and I'm fighting all the time not to gain and to be able to walk at all and I lost 180lbs years ago which kept me alive but am still super-fat and while I will stand against fat discrimination, I wonder where my heroes are. Why am I the only one out there saying FIX THIS!!!!!!!!!!! instead of ACCEPT IT?

Obesity past a certain point causes health problems, and what I am seeing is the two non-answers united together. As sick as I am, I don't mind when people say things like "no body shame", I don't want to be shamed and blamed anymore but something seems weird with Whitney sitting there wearing that shirt. Obviously she has to know being fat is ruining her life as an dancer. In her case she has PCOS, but maybe some demands for better treatment would serve women with PCOS better then doing the "The Don't Shame Me" Size acceptance dance". She is still at a functional weight but very close to a weight where she could easily tip over into disability. As she ages, her body will be in for some hurt. This is not to put her down but it is reality. We need more reality and truth when it comes to obesity. Authoritarian demands that don't work paired with focusing on the "feelings" as people's bodies break down isn't cutting it. Pushing denial as if fat was a comfortable state to be in, especially in higher weights just betrays people like me.

                                        How many healthy 500lb people do you know? This applies to the midsized but not to people like me.

Fat people have dealt with enough of that, but what about the question, "Why are we growing so fat?" "Why are our bodies growing more huge and the proscribed diets and lifestyles failing?"  Why is the automatic answer to the diet industrial failures-- "put up with our breaking down bodies without demanding real answers?"

 I believe we are being fattened up and while some can argue it's by design, where some would shout "Be quiet you tin-hatters!", it can be mere human malfeasance, stupidity, greed and the outcome of the growing toxins of modern day life. All I know is the push to NORMALIZE fat bothers me especially as people grow larger and sicker, it worries me. It's like we are all going to be squashed to death between the fat celebrators and the fat diet industrial myth makers. There's a lot being ignored in our industrial society except by a few researchers. When I found out years ago they fattened up cattle by giving them antibiotics, I thought what about human beings?

                                           Ever notice size 22 is okay but cross the size 26 Rubicon and there's no more clothes to be bought in stores?

So between the "normalization" and "acceptance"."promotion" of fat and the diet lies, I have felt squashed.  HAES to me meant a death sentence and "acceptance" of a body that almost led to my death by my late 20s. The diet industrial complex has failed me too.

Some questions:

1. Do you think people in the 1950s had to starve, diet, and sweat over every lettuce leaf to be a "normal weight?" They just lived and their body worked. As I have written before, take a look at old pictures of crowds, fat people are rare even "average" people are far smaller and more slight. Do you believe the mind control antics now that tell us the thin are all thin because they diet and exercise and never eat anything "bad" and are all thin because they are more moral and "harder-working" people? Remember while there was weight lifting gyms in the 50s, this was prior to the days of Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda and aerobics clubs. The whole world is getting more fat.  Soon almost our entire population will be fat. Almost half now classify as obese:



2. Have you ever wondered why there are so many fat people now where people in the 300s are "normal"? Back in the old days, even 300 used to be rare. You were told you were on death's door. Now 300 is considered a "small-fat". I remember being 230lbs and being treated like I was a giant and now 230 is "near normal" and barely anyone blinks an eye at it.  Have you ever asked yourself why people are growing so huge and what in the hell is wrong? Remember if you are new to this blog, I am a woman that reached near 700lbs and am now around 500. When I go out in public, I see fat people all over the place, there's still plenty of thin ones, but at least half are "fat" fat. This is unprecendented in human history.



3. Did everyone wake up one day and decide to be lazy? People still have to clean their houses, go to work, walk in large stores and walk to do other things. People had cars in the 1950s and some labor saving devices. Some buy the lie that people of our modern era are lazy and don't want to do anything and that is why everyone has grown fatter. Before I had my massive weight gain, I loved to walk for miles. I never was home. I was ACTIVE.  There is less leisure but more people are working. Much of our fattening working class are forced to work on their feet in factories and other manual labor jobs. I got fat even working at a residential counselor job that required hours on my feet, walking around, shopping, cleaning and driving clients around to various appointments and home visits. One thing I have noticed is even the working class people who work on their feet, sweeping the factory floors or cleaning up houses still are fatter then the thinner upper classes.

4. Do you think I have the right to be angry? That I am being lied to? That fat people should demand real answers instead of nothing but lies and fantasy? I'm not losing weight on less food and I'm in pain today from walking a lot the last two days.  What else am I supposed to do?  There's aspects of the fat acceptance movement I agree with, but as people know here I have spoken out against a lot of the false ideology too. Too much of the size acceptance world with it's "healthy" midsized people, lies to me just as much as the diet mongers who tell me if I eat "the right way" that my body will change into a more normal body. Fat people deserve better and I am sick of it.


Update: I ignored size acceptance that told me to love my fat and got diagnosed with Lipedema stage 4, other conditions and recently Celiac Disease [this one has saved me from constant kidney stones and even worsening health].