What Happened to the Left? Ableist Statists Who Demand Compliance

 

In real life, I am keeping my mouth shut. It's a strange position to be in. Usually I am a very outspoken person, but self protection has kicked in. Yes, I am scared. It's like walking on the edge of a cliff. I have to have some people left in my life and some goodwill left in my community. It is a scary place to be where your personal beliefs could cost you so heavily. There was 2-3 people where I told them of my concerns with the Covid vaccines, and told them it is your choice and was gentle, but the blow back was way too heavy. 

 I have made the decision to speak out online, about Covid, the vaccines, and the loss of freedom. It is the level of risk I can handle. Real life, though? I am keeping my mouth shut. I'm not talking about any of this with anyone now. My cards are being held close to the vest. 

 I have enough enemies. I need to keep things friendly as I can even for sheer survival. Think about this, I am a woman in America, supposedly the land of the free, having thoughts like this, where I have to be careful of what I say to people. This place has devolved down to a level. Freedom is gone. We have to worry about not following the status quo. Whatever happened to freedom of choice? People can weigh their risks and make their own medical personal decisions. What scares me is the censorship and what people aren't being told.

 One thing I hate is not being believed, when people claim I am lying about people I know getting sick. That's one thing many people who have faced side effects from the vaccines have faced is being invalidated and told they are liars, or exaggerating or "it's all anxiety". I couldn't breathe right for years and until I had a proper COPD medicine, my anxiety was far worse. One of my commenter is right about this being just like Narcissistic family dynamics, reality is suspended for the narcissist's narrative. Anyone speaking out is silenced, maligned, called names and told to shut up.

Some things I find objectionable is when people invalidate my concerns, call me a liar, and also apply labels that are not accurate like "anti-vaxxer". I fully support all traditional vaccines, and have taken them myself, including a flu and tetanus shot last year. Having people scream "anti-vaxxer" at me pissed me off. I also have surmised today that unless you are a bootlicker to the man, that now today you are a "conspiracy theorist". I guess Ralph Nader was one when he called out malfeasance of various corporations. 

What is scary is when people have bought so much into a world view is when they minimize a person, don't listen and treat them automatically like an "other". What is scary here, is Bruce Gerencser is an online person I formerly respected who tried to shut me down.  I loved his blog, I spread it's link all over. I credit him with helping me see the light as I was caught up in the cult of extreme fundamentalist Christianity and more specifically being with the Independent Fundamentalist Baptists. I shared his blog and it's writings with the deconversion community. 

When someone is rude to me like this, it hurts. I had polite conversations with him all these last years, but this brush-off, well it sucked. I was hoping he would at least listen.  It is ironic to me he is complaining about blurry vision in a recent post. I don't know if it is autoimmune or not, but one thing all the people are talking about with Covid vaccine side effects are effects on the vision.  It seems to me a man who shared many chronic health problems, would understand someone like me who doesn't want to sign up for more, or take the risk of an experimental vaccine. As I have said on other articles here, my utter disgust at the sheer ableism, and level of coercion is appalling me. WHY AREN'T MEDICAL EXEMPTIONS ALLOWED? 

I don't like people assuming I am being "scared to death" and talking down to me like I am a child who doesn't know anything. My risks are greater, I have also had intense medical trauma during my life. You think all those asthma attacks or smelling my own flesh rotting during a bout of sepsis had no affect?. Here's one none of you never heard about. When I was in the hospital for one of my sepsis infections, they were having difficulty getting an IV into me and they struck an artery, and when they did, the blood shot up like fountain and hit the ceiling. The medical world for me is not being coddled in a hospital bed. My years of misdiagnosis and suffering has not led me to the blind obedience and trust I now see in so many for the medical world. 

I have seen and heard things many have not. Remember I am the woman who gained 400lbs in 28 months and had her life destroyed. I spent years researching rare diseases, autoimmune issues, etc, just to say alive. No, I am not a doctor, but I know enough to find some real scientists and doctors who disagree with all this too. My medical knowledge is far higher then most laymen. I have helped people get diagnosed with rare disorders, it's happened SEVERAL times in my life.  All the evidence with the Covid vaccines adversely affecting those with autoimmune disorders is very high. 

What in the hell happened to the left? They have grown fascist as hell in a very short period of time. I worried about uber "woke" people who wanted to do ideological tests on people a long time ago, but this has kicked things up to a new level. I support a lot of "woke" causes but when people do ideological tests or commandeer speech,  I don't like it. This was the totalitarian side of Communism in Maoist China. 

 I feel like a sucker now as I was a Trump resister, I got out in the streets literally of a conservative town and shouted and warned people about Trump. I even had a poster warning of Trump's fascism. I still can't stand Trump and the GOP is advancing voter repression and other bad agendas but what a sucker I was. I warned about the Dominionists too. Now there's far more to fear from the left. I rue the day I voted for Biden. I am embarrassed about the article I wrote telling people to vote for Biden despite my reservations.

I've never seen anything like this with the level of fascism on the left, where no questioning of the establishment, especially the medical establishment. They want to take away our bodily autonomy. The brainwashing is thick. This pandemic has shut so many minds down over sheer fear. We had our personal lives radically changed and altered and no one wants to ask any questions? Why? What kind of society wants to force an experimental vaccine on people, not even allowing some who may want to wait to see if it is approved? Even more sick is the risks they are taking with children and young people when they have little to no risk with Covid!

There seems to be no end in sight either. I am seeing mainstream news articles about how they want to force the Covid vaccines on people and make them "mandatory".  I guess at that point I will sell everything and move to the most "free" remote red area I can find. As people sneer about conspiracy theorists, who were the people warning about the Fema camps 20 years ago? Some liberals sure seem eager to make that a reality!

Since I believe in my case I would die, and also have other beliefs pertaining to the vaccines where I do not want genetic engineering [not a conspiracy this article even admits it], this makes this issue pertinent. They are openly dividing society between the vaccinated and unvaccinated. Divide and conquer. All my friends got vaccinated except for very few too. That's hard. I'll be friends with them and allow them their own personal medical decisions though I may worry for them but what about my side of things? How many will dump me for refusing to comply or for asking too many questions?

I regret my own being suckered into the political divisions of last year. Yeah I'm united with some on the right now who still care about freedom and not being made slaves to the state and putting millions of people's lives at risk with an experimental vaccine. I feel like I died and woke up in some crazy world that is hell. What is even worse is the people who find this all acceptable and ask no questions. Critical thinking is dead in America and all the investigative journalists have been silenced outside of indy media. I guess to have a thought in one's head that goes against megacorporations and almighty Fauci makes one "crazy". Should personal medical care decisions have ideological tests applied? Hell no.

I had empathy for Bruce's mother in law getting sick from a fundamentalist church that refused to take precautions, people here read my MULTIPLE articles about my anger at those who spread Covid. I know GREY is hard to understand nowadays, I still believe the virus is REAL, even if the PCR tests may have drummed up some false positives, something was killing people and putting their respiratory systems in distress, especially older people. 

Here was the exchange in question:

https://brucegerencser.net/2021/05/my-wifes-mother-has-covid-19-and-her-ifb-church-is-to-blame/#comments

FIVEHUNDREDPOUNDPEEP

MAY 10, 2021 AT 12:05 PMREPLY

I wrote of my concern about the Covid vaccines on your other article, but I think it’s awful how these churches spread the Covid around too. In fact one person I know how got Covid got it from church and there was a group of 7 she said who got it, and one did end up in the hospital. They were meeting and I don’t believe wore masks either.

Most right wing churches are open and have been for months. I feel upset, lately feeling like life has been ruined by Covid and now the covid vaccines have so many bad side effects and know too many suffering in that world. I am angry at the evangelical world for helping to turn the virus endemic, but now feel like I am out of sorts on the left, which is not taking serious all the terrible side effects from the Covid vaccines. I know too many people who have had very bad things happen. I saw censorship of people who had terrible Covid vaccine side effects for myself. So feel damned if I do on both sides. Why are liberals now trusting big Pharm and the system so much? I have a history of severe autoimmune disease and anaphylaxis and do not want a vaccine passport dictatorship either.

I wear KN95 masks when I am out.

BJW

MAY 10, 2021 AT 1:36 PMREPLY

I understand you’re upset. By the way, I have had fibromyalgia and Hashimoto’s disease for a long time, and I got vaccinated with the J&J vaccine. And I’m fine. Quit listening to anti-vaxxers scaring you to death over the vaccines. Any possible vaccine injuries or deaths are far, far less than the risk of Covid-19. Do I trust big corporations? No, but if there are serious side effects in enough numbers, they will make less money. Seriously, they are motivated to make money and killing people won’t make them money.

FIVEHUNDREDPOUNDPEEP

MAY 10, 2021 AT 9:21 PMREPLY

I didn’t need anti-vaxxers to scare me. In fact when I looked up the Covid vaccines, I was trying to choose which one and to see if they were safe for someone with extreme autoimmune disorders and history of anaphylaxis.

I found out foreign countries said they were not for anyone with a history of anaphylaxis and don’t know why the USA didn’t follow that logic. I also know perfectly healthy people who were bedridden for a week-two [people I knew on Zoom and visited with every week] who felt “burning inside”, extreme headaches and pain. I know the two who had neuropathy personally and a friend had a family member get seizures, they have no reason to lie. Add to this all the even young people talking about messed up periods, heart problems, fast heart beats etc, it was ordinary normal people online not anti-vaxxers. I saw them censoring people everywhere too about side effects. it scares me too that one can’t even question the vaccines almost like they are a religion and we are to trust in Pfizer like Christ or something. Johnson and Johnson had the baby powder debacle.

I am in shock that people trust them so readily, it doesn’t take much looking to see the bad side effects. I posted this to someone else but take a look for yourself. Other vaccines were safe except RARE events, gave immunity and stopped transmission, these vaccines are poor quality and don’t even give immunity or stop transmission. You ever wonder why they want to give this stuff to kids and teens who are at little to no risk from Covid? [remember these Covid vaccines don’t give immunity or stop anyone from spreading it]

https://www.openvaers.com/covid-data

SAGE

MAY 10, 2021 AT 9:24 PMREPLY

Take your hearsy data elsewhere:

https://www.vice.com/en/article/qjpmp7/anti-vaxxers-misuse-federal-data-to-falsely-claim-covid-vaccines-are-dangerous

BJW

MAY 10, 2021 AT 10:07 PM

Yeah. This person is freaking out over anecdotes, people who are pinning every bad feeling they have on the Covid-19 vaccine. Very suggestible.

FIVEHUNDREDPOUNDPEEP

MAY 11, 2021 AT 10:10 AM

https://old.reddit.com/r/NoNewNormal/comments/n9xp3p/stop_with_the_crazy_conspiracy_theories_the/

Yeah I guess this is all heresay too, all these people dying including ones in carehomes, nurses, doctors, etc.

Read those links, it’s all over the internet.

I guess you two don’t check into anything.

Weird you’d think people who deconverted from a fundamentalist religion would be careful of being brainwashed in any other area.

Those vaccines are dangerous, not the good proven ones but the covid mRNA experimental vaccines. Don’t get me started on the ableism too inherent in people who refuse to admit there should be any medical or other exemptions.

I hate seeing people being ignored and called liars.

FIVEHUNDREDPOUNDPEEP

MAY 11, 2021 AT 10:22 AM

https://i.redd.it/tk1079s5khy61.png

It’s like a religion isn’t it, you consider every person discussing side effects from experimental vaccines, a liar right?

Just like they treat people in fundamentalist Christianity. I am a “heretic” for daring to question any of it, aren’t I?

Just wait because of the stupidity in liberalism now, the country is going to flip so red, Handmaid’s Tale probably will be our new reality.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9111311/Portuguese-health-worker-41-dies-two-days-getting-Pfizer-covid-vaccine.html

https://web.archive.org/web/20210326012602/https://www.ksnt.com/capitol-bureau/kansas-womans-death-after-covid-19-vaccination-raises-safety-concerns-state-health-officials-weigh-in/

https://i.ibb.co/yf0jKPR/vedr65e9bku61-1.jpg

https://abc7.com/johnson-covid-teen-vaccine/10537228/

https://i.ibb.co/xJkQYzz/asd.jpg

Have many more links then just those. I also don’t appreciate being called a liar, about the people I personally knew who had problems.

BRUCE GERENCSER POST AUTHOR

MAY 11, 2021 AT 10:21 PM

Actually, in this story, you are the Fundamentalist. You are the one who thinks you know the truth and virtually everyone else is uninformed/deceived. You are the one preaching the anti-vax gospel, complete with scary illustrations. You are the one who thinks if everyone just believed your “truth” that they would be saved. Seems quite Fundamentalist to me.

You have had ample opportunity to preach your gospel. I’ve read your blog and Twitter feed. I have a good handle on what you believe about COVID/vaccinations/Fauci/government. You bristle when called an anti-vaxxer or conspiracy theorist, yet you promote anti-vax beliefs and conspiracy theories. If a shoe fits . . .

I suspect you’ve made your point, yes? Time to move on.

***********************

Notice how he silenced me, refused to look at any links I provided or to even have empathy for those who suffered side effects or to honor any medical and other concerns. Actually I don't expect to save anyone, saving myself and my husband is hard enough. He speaks out for his principles all over his blog, and so do I.  This is what I got when I spoke with a few, "you are crazy, you believe lies". Hey I went to go read the other side at Respectful Insolence, a pro-vacc website, and got called "poopy head".

 Here Bruce Gerencser "othered" me. Keep in mind this is someone I liked and supported for years online. He's an excellent writer but as part of the Covid cult, gave me the heave ho. Oh one thing with the Covid cult, unless you adapt ALL doctrine, you're out the door. Keep in mind I believe the virus is real, was angry it was spread and wear KN95 masks where ever I go. I wasn't even treated like a person. I was brushed off. So to be a good liberal, I must blindly accept everything in the mainstream now? Is that what he is telling me. It definitely was disappointing.  

I am scared for anyone who suffers side effects, I get the feeling many have gone silent because their very existence goes against the narrative, and they fade into the background. I saw some people playing down temporary side effects they had, not to appear as some of those "crazy anti-vaxxers". 

I don't appreciate statist people who are ableist and demand compliance to be accepted as people. The left has lost it's mind. Seeing so many refusing to think this through is beyond worrying.

New Orleans Surgical Center Manager Tells the LA State Legislature How the Covid Vaccine Destroyed Her Life

 

The Covid Insanity Just Seems to Grow Worse

Covid19 has isolated me quite a bit outside of my marriage. I and my husband formed our own little cocoon. We are supposed to make paintings of birds together this week. I just read a book proposal he is working on. We ate Middle Eastern food on our anniversary. I had falafel and salad, and he ate meat kabobs. He will have to do grocery shopping soon. He took me to the kidney doctor yesterday, the news wasn't so bad. So I am not alone and that's good. However I am scared for all the single people whose lives have been removed of all people.

My social life otherwise has gone completely into the toilet outside of Zoom and online friends and associates. I suppose this is true of many people. I always used to think the powers that be wanted to destroy all the human connections they could. I am old enough to remember when life operated differently and people did get together and talk, and now that seems so rare. There were days I was even crying over missing people in groups I used to see on a regular basis. That was strange.

Sometimes I worry that now they want every conversation observed and documented on Zoom and they will never let people have friends or see people again. Our normal lives may never come back. Humans are social creatures, I believe this is going to damage people. It's affecting me even thought I am very autistic, and an introverted person. I enjoyed some social interactions and needed people in my life. This is not normal. It's causing me to withdraw, with a "why bother?" feeling. I've had one of those lives where there's been too many losses. This definitely is a loss as well. This is time we are not going to get back. Another thing since people are separated, it gives the powers that be far more control.

The quality of our lives has been destroyed over their "Great Re-set" power plays, and letting this virus run rampant over the entire planet. Their vaccines aren't reopening society either, and are of low quality, and having the human body produce "spike proteins" which harmed people who got them from the virus to begin with. [see page 67 here]  The Covid vaccines don't protect anyone from getting Covid or from it being transmitted. There's just some vague promise that it will reduce symptoms. Why has this been acceptable when our former vaccines did a much better job? What will happen if the "reprogrammed" immune systems go bad? How did so many line up with so few worries?

I feel like I am living the plot of a hellish horror movie. For now, with internet, enough food and entertainment, it's bearable, but I wonder how long those will last. Even when I used to be a Christian fundamentalist and warned from bible prophecy of all the bad things that would/could happen, I never imagined a medical dictatorship that wanted to destroy everyone's health and social lives and a virus without end. This nightmare makes Revelation look like Candyland tales, sure we warned then destruction would come and bad things from evil elites but never imagined this. This whole mess is far worse. No one guessed at a technocratic dystopia beyond a few who mentioned transhumanism, where people's health was to be destroyed across the board. They literally are destroying futures, social connection, all hope and all human freedom.

I was watching a movie via a disability Zoom group. It's a movie that is a few years old, the characters live in New York and went to support groups, theatre shows, and hang out with friends in restaurants. I loved the movie "Keep the Change" [2017]. It showed two autistic people falling in love. 

I kept thinking look at the lives they got to have. Look at everything that is ruined. For us here, there's no "normal" unless you have local friends--I don't, willing to meet up, everything is closed down etc. Even with the vaccines,  groups are not meeting. So many joys in life have been dismantled. Right now, given social ties I did build, I am missing stamp group, UU meetings, lectures, dinners, musicals, theatre shows, and meetings with one new local theatre that opened, art center classes, art openings, writing groups, poetry groups, book clubs in person, the gym, and just talking to people in general.  I worry for a future with no senior center, or other health programs and support groups. I started crying thinking "What have they done to us?" and "Is this how we are going to be forced to live for the rest of our lives?" Thankfully my Zoom camera and sound were off and I got it together before the discussion ensued.

Some people have made the decision in the "questioning the covid narrative" world to go hang out with friends who agree with them and live their lives, but due to my higher risk, and lack of local friends, this has not been possible. There's no one whose on my page around me. I don't know how to find them off line. I am not happy living life this way. I even consider moving out of my hardcore lock down state to a more open state, where there is some semblance of normal life. My husband does not want to move tired of restarting and I understand. However my state looks like Soviet Russia during the late 1980s, grey, shut down, with legions of silent shuffling people. Ironically we supposedly have one of the highest rates of Covid in the country. 

I did decide to "live" more of life. Get busy living or dying. I started going in some stores again. The time in a cage has to end at some point. I live in a locked down place. Even if you want to go and do things, there's nowhere to go. Some restaurants are open but that's about it. [25-50 percent capacity?] Most are doing take out. I hadn't been in this one large store in almost 18 months, I went during a slow time, watching everyone walk slowly around in masks, was a weird feeling. It was so quiet, that was strange. No one was talking. Laughter, smiles, jokes, or even just general conversation was obliterated. There were other couples there too but they were silent. Last week during ComCast's Watchathon, I watched Season 3 of Handmaid's Tale. It occurred to me that the handmaid's grocery store on Handmaid's Tale full of armed guards had more conversation and social connection among people. After all June needed to connect with the other Handmaids for the resistance. 

 I can't hear or read lips in the masks so our conversation was muted too but not by choice though we communicated enough at times to pick up a new vacuum cleaner. I had my transcribe phone and hearing aids with me [that I have to take out to wear the masks] but we talked on the way there and in car. Even if you go out around here, while nature and parks can be enjoyable, nothing is the same. Probably a lot of people have local families or close friends they can hang out with but I bet many don't. We had a lot of casual ties in our case but not close enough. This worried me before Covid. I have been to some medical places and centers out of necessity, but it was weird to me how the stores had just silent people moving along too. The big store was just like the medical center where I go to get my blood tests. 

We debated where to go on our anniversary. I said "Everything's closed". I thought of going some place to take pictures but even the nature center has it's facilities closed which I need to even go there so I have use of a bathroom while taking my bird and butterfly photos.

I go out to get sunshine and air, and some needed things but social interaction and civic groups etc, are dead here. I haven't seen a person smile or laugh [except on Zoom and husband] in 18 months. Outside is so depressing, there's times I just stay home. Also sometimes while I fear Covid a little less knowing they exaggerated the PCR numbers being this high risk, my mind needs the break of the worry. The virus is real and as doctors and nurses have told me, has killed people so unlike those who believe it's all a hoax, I can't throw caution to the wind like that.

 How many years is this crap going to last? The population is being beaten down. I would start seeing people myself but the virus still is spreadable among the vaccinated. There is also the growing concern the vaccinated are shedding spike proteins. I have that in the "I don't know" pile, but that worries me too. I have seen discussions of unvaccinated people getting sick from being around vaccinated people. The risk is probably minimal with masked people in stores, but what about skin and unmasked contact?

They took all the fun and laughter away and that creeps me out. Illness with out end. Their vaccines that don't bring immunity and end transmission also disgust me. Isn't that the main purpose of a vaccine to begin with? Well they failed. The 'gene therapy' doesn't stop the virus. It also seems to bring great risks.

I am now a disaffected leftist but I am scared the mindless obedience and conformity of my fellow liberals is going to lead to such a right wing pendulum swing we will be looking at Handmaid's Tale from the other side.  The right was crazy but the left has betrayed beyond measure. We are squeezed from both sides. The SOB billionaires will have their money and power and since they have the media at their hand they know how to steer the population whatever direction they want. Hell in liberal circles admitting there is a 1 percent with negative intentions is now considered "wrong" and "conspiracy". I guess the Occupy days are over and the limousine liberals love the way the world is now. They got the liberals all bowing at the feet of the elites and their dreamed of "new normal". What's happened to the left? Any ideas of freedom or working class solidarity are gone. I am politically homeless. 

Time magazine April 22, 2002.

The Covid rhetoric reminds of the time during 9-11 when the war on terror got started. I guess now it's war on your own immune system. What have we gotten but fear mongering for over a year and half. It's taken a toll on me, every time I enter a store, there's always this worry of "catching it" and dying on top of everything else I have to worry about.

The other month, I went into a small butcher and meat store and there were two older people sitting out front, no masks, bench close to the door, one's nose looked red and snotty, I didn't want to get too close. I had to wait a few minutes for them to lead to proceed forward. That's getting tiring too. While I question vaccine passports and the social engineering, I do believe there is a virus to still be careful of.

 Even the masks seemed like mostly theatre, no one educated on which masks were best. If they really wanted to stop a virus, KN95 would have been passed out on every street corner like candy financed by old war powers production instead of people wearing a motley collection of bandanas, gaiters, and whatever material their grandma could sew up for them. That has always bothered me. Some would cite that is just usual human incompetency, but it's been over a year. Isn't that something that should have been addressed? Why am I the odd woman out wearing nothing but KN95?

 If you look at my list of Covid19 links, adverse reactions to the vaccines are piling up. These are not links to conspiracy websites but regular news and other websites.  Do you think I want to lose so many people I care about? I've had grim faced silence when some people have told me eagerly of their vaccinations. 

I have learned the hard way most people are not critical thinkers. That most people who are critical thinkers are labeled crazy and if you question the system you also are labeled insane, which happened under other totalitarian regimes. I do confront myself and ask am I wrong here? I examine new evidence. There's a reason I went over to the pro-vaccine blog to test my beliefs, they failed and when they called me basically a "poopy-head" I knew their arguments were not honest ones.  Something is wrong with this picture. How can anyone accept what is happening at face value? I suppose us Aspies notice details, maybe to our detriment. 

I never knew I was supposed to trust megacorporations some with a dubious history like Johnson and Johnson or one like Moderna that has never had an FDA approved medicine. Sure I take some medicines from some Pharmaceutical companies, that are tested and proven and work. But it's like I am supposed to suspend all critical thinking and line up for Covid vaccines that don't work the same way as our good traditional vaccines and have horrific side effects and one thing I am noticing is the sheer extreme ableism and hatred for the disabled in expecting everyone to line up no matter their health history or risks.

This seems to be a genocide hell world where there's no such thing as medical exemption.  Any of you ever asked that question, why aren't any medical exemptions allowed? Does fear excuse treating people like objects to be tossed into the trash? For months, us disabled people had to hear how they would triage us, that our lives were not worth as much as other lives and now we are to be lined up like everyone else, our circumstances ignored. Developmentally delayed people are paying big time for being stuck at home, with none of their support groups, schools or other helps. Elderly people no longer have their social groups or help or senior centers too. Homeless people can't even meet at the soup kitchen for meals anymore and have to line up masked to get their bagged lunch. The human toll here goes deeper than admitted.

 I am realizing outside of a few friends who lined up and had some compassion for my medical issues, the world doesn't care but I kind of knew that long ago. ADA has basically been burned up by a match not only from the Social Darwinism of the right but now from the so called left. No one cares how vaccine passports will affect the disabled or those with medical conditions. Few understand how the risk level is different for every person.

And it's not just the disabled, but what about children who are having their social development adversely affected and now they want to give these Covid vaccines to children who have little to no danger from the Covid virus. How does this make any sense? Does anyone care about the social damage being done to millions of children? They were expected to live like high risk people no longer allowed to play or have lives. Aren't the old supposed to sacrifice for the young instead of the other way around?  And why are they giving risky experimental vaccines to children who have little to no risk from the virus? All those young men who had heart attacks would have had normal healthy lives without the vaccine. What kind of madness is fueling these decisions? I never had children so watching people put their children's physical and mental health at risk life long is scary. 

Our lives are being ruined under lockdown control and there seems no way out. I spend time with husband and found a gardening space to survive. Gardening is a new solitary hobby which I enjoy now. Everyone needs an escape. I am trying to work around it. I formed a life with husband that has some enjoyable things but just doesn't have any other humans in it. 

 The poor quality "vaccines" do not offer the level of immunity or transmission that were expected from other decent vaccines. The brainwashed types now call anyone an antivaxxer who questions the Covid vaccines. They don't care about anyone's health problems and the lack of empathy towards anyone having adverse effects is astonishing. This society has been taken over by malignant narcissists and sociopaths and it shows. The level of censorship is through the stratosphere.

By the way questioning any of this is scary. In real life, I am keeping my mouth shut for peace and safety. The few times I tried to bring it up, it didn't go well. I took the tactic of agree to disagree with more than a few friends to keep the peace. I have cried in disappointment that so few saw things the way I did. How can people believe in this corrupt system so openly? How can they accept the words of people who failed us before. I remember the days of George W. Bush lying about those weapons of mass destruction. Do you think the lies have stopped? They haven't.

I know people are afraid, they don't want to catch or die from Covid. I am no innocent here, as I toss on a mask whenever someone gets within 15 feet of me. So I understand the fear factor too. However the solutions are getting scarier than the virus itself. Bad decisions are made out of fear. How long do they plan to keep society locked down? Where I live the majority of businesses have failed. I am ordering so much on Amazon, simply because I have no other choice and don't like that feeling. I don't even know anyone personally outside of the high school friend who had her vaccines fail, who even has Covid right now.  Are they dragging things out on purpose?

 In real life, I have noticed talking about these issues is not welcomed. I keep quiet, and now find myself entering this weird isolative kind of feeling where I can't talk about my real feelings and outlooks. I talk about the "nice things" that do keep me distracted like art, gardening and other hobbies. This blog is an outlet. It is scary to be a person where you feel you can't be open in your opinions. It has made me question more relationships. I don't expect all friends to agree with me but you know it means something where you feel "fear" inside for holding certain opinions and wondering what is going to happen to you. It's like when I deconverted from fundamentalist Christianity and got dumped like a hot rock for no longer believing. 

Some people have told me, you need people around you where you can "be yourself", but when one is on the autistic spectrum this is not always possible. I don't have energy to fight the whole world and would rather keep things peaceful in day to day life, but inside I have growing despondency over what has been deemed acceptable and what has been done to all our lives with nary a question. Even writing about these things on an anonymous blog is not easy. The neurotypical world has always been one of crushing conformity to me and it's caused me a lot of pain. 

I find myself withdrawing from people because out of worries I will offend them. I don't fit in with the right wing, that denies the virus is real, and questions the masks, and I don't fit in with the left wing, that is so pro-Covid vaccine all critical thinking has been suspended and where they seem to want forever lock downs. I have found a few other lockdownskeptics from the left but our numbers seem to be few and far between. 

I am a deconvert from fundamentalist Christianity so have been on both sides but the left can have their own religion and if you dare deviate you are considered a "heretic" ripe for burning at the stake. I try to have empathy and understanding for people's positions but what happens when their positions are bringing so much harm to others, and you feel like your very life is at risk?

The trust in medicine is not deserved. While we have some good advances and some decent medicines and treatments keep people alive, I never expected the world to line up behind doctors, many of whom misdiagnose, and who ignore the causes of ill health. Medicine has some serious problems. I have been shocked at the total trust in the medicos, some deserve more trust than others. I don't consider Fauci trustworthy at all.

It's like we are all supposed to park our brains at the door. I am disabled today partially due to misdiagnosis and medical oversight. While good doctors do and have helped me, there is a lot of problems in the medical world. Do you really think they care about everyone's health when most people can barely afford medical care in the United States, or they want to give donuts as prizes or when our system is totally profit driven? 

And where are our investigative journalists, do we even have any of those anymore?

The Covid Vaccines

 

The mRNA Covid vaccines still scare the hell out of me. I hope if you got it, you had no bad side effects and will be all right. It's still people's personal choice but the side effects being listed are very scary. I am old enough to remember when vaccine side effects were rare, this one they are almost telling people, "Oh you are supposed to be sick for some days". Why is that acceptable?  But then why is it acceptable for young men to have heart attacks from this vaccine when they had very little risk from Covid to begin with? Why even take that gamble?  It makes no sense.

19 year old, 2 days after vaccination https://www.openvaers.com/covid-data/1077643

21 year old, 4 days after vaccination https://www.openvaers.com/covid-data/1074003

22 year old, 30 mins after vaccination https://www.openvaers.com/covid-data/1046636

21 year old, 1 day after vaccination https://www.openvaers.com/covid-data/994376

Seeing this too where a woman was blinded from the Covid vaccines was shocking, I am already deaf. Of course it's messing up some people's hearing too. 

 I don't think even 20-30 years ago such intense side effects, numbers of deaths and injuries would have been accepted in any new medicine or treatment. The pro-corporates can make all the excuses in the world like all these deaths are statistically insignificant, but with all the censorship I've seen, I believe the numbers are far higher. It's not hard to find real people on message boards, telegram, and other venues discussing what is really happening. These people are to be believed. It's still weird to me that to be liberal today means totally trusting in mega-corporations. Yes some companies do make good medicine that works, I am on a lot of it.  I do wish they had given us effective, decent, and safe vaccines like the majority of vaccines we have had before this time. I just don't believe these are. Sorry. 

We all deserved better. American society has grown too corrupt for our achievements of the past. It definitely shows in all this. America should have demanded vaccines equal to the quality of our old ones. I wrote the Covid vaccines were low quality and that got some people's ire up, but it's my opinion take it or leave it. 

It's also worrisome that anyone who questions these Covid vaccines is called an "anti-vaxxer". That's pissing me off, because it's not true. I supported other traditional vaccines and took them. It's these particular vaccines that people are worried about. I went to go hang out on this one pro-covid vaccine doctor's blog, and well when ad hominems rule, and one even reduced themselves to using toilet language, that told me something was really wrong. One guy presented some real arguments, explaining S proteins, while another just shouted "Anti-Vaxxer" at everyone. Give me a break. 

I am noticing that things don't seem to be opening up either and that worries me. The vaccinated around here aren't even hanging out that much together.  I live in a state with a very high rate of vaccination and it has not opened up anything.

A high school friend on FB had her Covid vaccines fail and has Covid pneumonia [officially diagnosed with both] and is in the hospital. She got both required shots and enough time has passed where it was past the time where they would have kicked in. I think people are afraid of the claimed 5% window of "breakthrough" cases. That didn't make me feel better about the Covid vaccines either. 

I read scientific studies all the time. I know most assume people are ignorant who question the vaccines, they've done a good job propagandizing the idea that everyone who questions mRNA vaccines are a bunch of dumb hicks. It's simply not true.

Here's one study you should find of interest.

Church Services Are Designed to Influence You. Here’s How:

 

I found this interesting and shared it with the deconversion community. The video talks about the play on emotions. While my fundamentalist churches didn't do so much repetitive rock music, they definitely had the "emotional" altar calls near the end with constant appeals for money. The pastors were definitely trained to heighten emotion and repeat things in a certain way during their sermons. It shows the manipulation in religion.

Vegetarianism continued

 

I've switched half my meals to vegetarian in the last 4-5 months. My kidney problems are motivating this, I still eat small amounts of  meat [poultry] but dropped it by a lot. I like tofu but have to be careful of eating too much of it or my thyroid can swell up.  The vegetarianism is helping my life. I was petrified of gaining weight from Covid lock-down but have been able to keep it stable and its 20 down from 6 months ago. That could be water weight changes but down is always good in my case. The kidneys are stable but the stones are still an issue. The kidney doctor wants me to cut down sodium too. 

Anna Should Have Left Josh Duggar

Five Hundred Pound Peep: Will Anna Leave Josh Duggar? She Should. (fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com)

Josh's sociopathic smirk in the mug shot is horrible. It was obvious Ma and Pa Duggar minimized Josh's problems and swept them under the carpet years ago and now you see the results today.

Josh has been arrested for possession of child pornography or CSA. It's possible Anna has faced abuse from Josh as well, in addition to the obvious emotional abuse. There is one Duggar episode, where she is pregnant, and instead of getting up from the table, Josh has her crawl under the table while guests are over for dinner.

If she stays with him after all this, that shows some serious problems. Self protection and self love are gone.  It will be worse that not even the natural instincts of most mothers to protect their children won't come to bear. 

Religious cults definitely have an issue with sex abuse in general. The authoritarian structure, the conformity and blind obedience all work together to help predators do their thing. In the ACON community, we have discussed for years how the willing bystanders to abuse are just as evil and responsible as the main abusers.

 Unless Anna now is working to get her kids to safety and in changing things, she is betraying her kids.  I saw some people on message boards questioning if CPS was going to come in and do investigations of the M kids and the other kids on the Duggar compound. Josh definitely could have abused them too, I hope an investigation is forthcoming. Sadly the cult tells her to stay married no matter what. Religious cults are all about preserving the power for the status quo, and obviously show no care for women and children who belong to them.