Monday, November 27, 2017

Thirty Year Old Art Work

I had a closet leak, and some of this art I had to photograph before losing it due to mold. I was fortunate to not have the entire apartment flood like one new acquaintance down the street from all the rain we had. It was interesting to look at this thirty year old artwork. These projects are from high school and early college in the 1980s. Yes I am that old.

In college, I had life drawing as a freshman. I started college when I was only 17, so often was the youngest in the class. It could be intimidating to draw all the naked people. We drew both men and women too. One lady was more modest and wore a bathing suit. Some of the drawings were timed like the life-drawing water-color below. We got 15 or 20 minutes for that one.



This is an etching I did, in early college too. We had to etch these drawings into zinc plates and then use acid to make the grooves before printing them with a roller printing press. I think my Aspie brain had a little bit of difficulty with reversing things properly. That was a challenge for me in printing.  I had a fascination with Victorian times and houses even then. There are several prints in different colors of this house.


This was an ink drawing in high school. I had a model for the drawing. It probably was from inside my parent's last house, but I showed the cat, the windows and the chair as accurately as I remember. Sometimes I think about doing ink drawing again, it's been a long time. Back then I did acquire pen nibs, I seem unable to find the matches of. I read that Charles Schultz bought out pen nibs of one entire company before they went out of business. Good pen nibs aren't always easy to find.

This was an early college design project, making letters out of objects.


This is a high school drawing, I think this may be a self portrait from back then and I had long hair, though you can see some of the thickening of the legs. This was done with regular pens around age 14 or 15.



This is probably one of the earliest artworks. This is a water color from when I was a freshman in high school. I remember drawing and painting this one oddly, I think I made up the scene out of my mind. Today I need pictures to draw from or a still-life. 



Post-script art work. I forgot to add this one in. It's either from late high school or freshman year of college, just a one-off, I made for myself and in a sketchbook. You can see the emotion in this one. You probably can guess who I had just dealt with.


9 comments:

  1. Wonderful that you kept these. The high school watercolour reminds me of the paintings of Dora Carrington - also the letter design project. You might find in Carrington a kindred, rebellious spirit. Your self portrait conveys an enviable inner freedom that may have aggravated the queen spider. Truly lovely.


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    1. Thanks, :) Yes I'll look up Dora Carrington too. Definitely will check her work out. Yeah Queen Spider was aggravated. The whole family distrusted "artists" in general. I think she did envy my health, youth and vitality as short-lived as it was. Oh I may show this one spontaneous art work. LOL Forgot to add it in...

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  2. "Judgement" - the implacable, chilling grimness for all time! Boy, did you capture that!



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  3. Dear Peeps, gee i could think of a dozen better reasons for a parent to be aggravated at a child's use of time. There you were, at home drawling pictures, when you coild have been out running around with scum-waffles...

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    1. Yeah I could have been doing drugs, partying and going for a free-for all, and I was home drawing pictures. I wanted to go into art. I was SUCH A REBEL. I probably was adopted but as I walked I noticed the younger generation is all boy scouts, frat boys, band nerds and obedient types. No artists in the mix. Very obedient to parents and of their narcissistic values. Call me disappointed beyond measure. None of the younger generation are like me either. Honestly the narcs deserved a crack head or a jailbird.

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  4. Beautiful art! By the way, I was talking to a famous artist and she also was scapegoated, discarded by her NM. It happens to even the famous ones. She said she went into art for self soothing, to paint a better world than the one she grew up with.
    She said she has a very different marriage than her parents marriage, and her children were brought up with love and empathy. She said she was so happy that she could make her own family because her birth family was not kind.
    It is good to know that even someone who is famous can have this happen, and that a highly successful life at both home and career does not necessarily stop parental abuse from happening. Abusive parents have an overwhelming desire to scapegoat and they pick who they think will make the best target; it's as simple as that.

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    1. Thanks Lise :) I may photograph all my old paintings too and put those up. [the ones that were not given away or sold] Wow with the famous artist. I had some commenters here some time ago write and tell me, they were successful and had good jobs, and it didn't make a bit of difference when it came to all the scapegoating and abuse. I am glad that famous artist had a happy marriage and home life, she broke the cycle with her own children too. I think many of us scapegoats fall into the trap of thinking money and the just right job or life success will earn love and respect they never could get. It was a dream I held for too long with the "get thin" aspect attached to it all.

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    2. A lot of narcissists from your past show up when you are successful, but that doesn't mean they have thought about how they treated you in the past at all. In some ways the "love bombing" over your success is worse abuse, because they will still leave you high and dry when you are going through the worst times of your life. And that's a lot more shocking than if they just hate you all of the time. They are pathologically envious, and many try to get a position in your business, even if it is just as "adviser" or "fan" (to sabotage you). Personally, I'd rather they just hate me for all eternity. The pretend-love is the worst.
      In other words, I speak from experience on this subject.

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    3. I remember you writing about one coming back and giving you the "I didn't try to understand you line, I am so sorry"...This is a good warning for me seriously. I never have had the pretend-love done to me. I have to be careful if it ever was done, to not fall for it. I don't think they will in my case, she's too proud to even fake apologies to me or fake niceness or love, but I can see how this can be a danger zone for many ACONs. Mine gloried in my failures, and I know I have that vulnerability of seeing success as something that would have earned me their love and that is a good warning for me to have to. Yeah I would not want one love bombing me so I can back, and then they drive the knife in my back. I do believe narcissists openly sabotage businesses, careers and more. Yeah "adviser" or "fan" what a joke. That says it all when you wrote you'd rather hate you for all eternity. Hmmm this something to think about. I'm not in much danger of a fake love campaign, but I do believe many ACONs ARE.

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