The March of the Republic of Gilead: Abortion and Birth Control

Interesting cartoon, I don't agree with all of it, because the left at least supports women's rights and birth control. Women better wake up because this isn't just about abortion, it's about control, and they want to scale back many gains women have made.

The other day I learned Georgia had outlawed abortion, does this mean better child care or more programs to support these children once they are here? Nope, it's going back to the bad old days of back alley abortions and women dying. What is scary is Ohio too has joined their ranks and Ohio now is even gunning for the birth control. One thing to remember is many fundamentalists claim that birth control pills prevent implantation all the time so it wouldn't be just IUDs on the chopping block. None of these people care, that Available birth control has dropped the abortion rate in America.

The Republic of Gilead and the Dominionists are on the march. As a Christian, I never gave a dime to the pro-life movement, I was too troubled by my own personal circumstances. They also were really against birth control which never made sense to me. In my old fundie small town, I knew some avid prolifers, they would ask me for money for donations and I would say "No." Abortion to be frank, is a topic I avoided like the plague. Inside, I knew women had complicated health problems like me. I knew many abortions were from economic fears and survival issues. I knew some women had babies dying in utero or with severe birth defects. Of course all my churches preached abortion was wrong. 

I was told I would die if I got pregnant by three different doctors in my early 30s. One doctor even told me I should not even take the risk of having sex, that's how extreme it was. With PCOS. fertility is limited but possible.  So birth control issues always were scary ones for me especially when I was forced off birth control pills in my early 40s. I also was on a drug Spironolactone which immediately causes birth defects. This drug was for heart and hormonal issues. It helped my congestive heart failure and also lowered the testosterone that messed me up via severe PCOS and androgen disorders. I was forced off it for kidney issues around 7 years ago. I was mostly infertile but doubling up on the birth control most of my life just in case one of my troubled ovaries decided to pop an egg at an inopportune moment. In my case, I never became pregnant in my life. 

I too was technically against abortion like the other fundamentalists, but lived in a strange area of extreme cognitive dissonance as I pondered my own possible demise.  There was no way I was going to join the pro-lifers on their marches at Planned Parenthood. I once got accosted outside a Planned Parenthood clinic by some protesters. I was there for birth control as they screamed at me, "Don't kill your baby!" It was a bit traumatic.

After my deconversion, I started listening to the arguments of those who wanted abortion kept safe, rare and legal. Too many Republicans and religious leaders didn't give a damn about the health needs of women or taking care of the babies once they were here. Places like Finland, because of sexual education, and available birth control had their abortion rates drop to very low levels. What's going to happen here? They are busy repeating the mistakes of 50-100 years ago.

This is just one issue, but I sometimes want to throw up, seeing this country regressing. Abortion was a topic that was dealt with 40 years ago. Abortion rates fell. I knew unlike the 1980s even, that far fewer teens were getting pregnant. They were figuring out the birth control. Many young girls were going on birth control even before having sex. The Patriarchy wants to do away with birth control too. Yes the birth control that would stop the need for abortions. Oh and don't forget these "pro-life" states have the death penalty as the penalty for abortion on the books now too.

They Do Want to Subjugate Woman

Roe vs. Wade and American Babies

Here's the latest:

Supreme Court Overrules Roe vs. Wade 

I wrote this a few years ago.

The March of the Republic of Gilead: Abortion and Birth Control.

I never liked abortion but always considered government interference in it, to create nothing but problems. It should be kept a private matter and there's health and other things, the state isn't going to care about. I had my own "special circumstances" where I was told pregnancy would kill me. I was mostly infertile but I could have popped a random egg even with severe PCOS, so I took precautions. I've never had sex without birth control, maybe I'm one of those cautious type people. My infertility probably kept me from ever becoming pregnant. Years and years, statistics would have said, the birth control would have failed at least once even with my extreme caution. There's a lot of women who are careful and who get pregnant anyway. Right wing pro-life types never had much mercy for women in difficult positions. 

No one really gives a damn about the babies, because once they are here, everything they need for happy healthy lives gets cut off.  The left used to at least pretend to care about the "little people" that's over, as we are crushed under extreme inflation. They are now pushing the clot shot on the babies, with few studies and really no benefit--negative efficacy, and that makes me sick and like I should be screaming in the streets to save them from future autoimmune illnesses, blood clots, and possible infertility. So as all these people claim to "care about the babies", I don't think they do. So Roe vs Wade is now gone, but now we are dealing with the already born babies being put on the chopping block. Some of the kids already got myocarditis, guess they don't care about dead babies now. Guess they don't care about the orphans either as the adverse effects from the shots pile up, and Covid never ends and no treatments are pursued.

I never had children and watching people give their babies experimental shots that really have already failed and serve no purpose for them makes me want to puke. It was bad enough with the kids but watching it happen to babies is even worse. Too many kids have dumb parents. I can have sympathy for the fear and angst produced in millions, but aren't any of these people looking around? The shots have failed us. Adults have noped out realizing the side effects and more. So why push it on babies? What possible benefit can you see it having?

Back to abortion. The right sucks too when it comes to abortion, ignoring the economic factors that drive it. Outside of medical issues, the majority of women I know who got abortions all did so for ECONOMIC reasons. They couldn't take care of themselves or the baby, or keep their job. They were too young and in school still. They had no place to live. Deadbeat men who made them pregnant in the first place all disappeared. Some had no families or wealthier families who refused to help.   Their options were very few. Some have told me they regretted it and feel resentment over the economic duress they were under. Notice in all these abortion battles, THAT is never talked about. 

This country put money above human life long ago and the right wing is guilty of that. So why they cry about the abortions and now make them illegal, they offered no real changes to make abortions less in number. They do nothing to give women more options. Many of them are insane enough to want to do away with birth control too. They ARE going after the contraception. If this place was sane, then the need or desire for abortion would become so rare it would become a moot issue. 

The left sucks too, because they support an experimental shot with extreme side effects being given to the babies. They sacrificed the working class on the altar of neo-liberalism, they allow Bill Gates and others to destroy our lives and health. Through their medical fascism they have enabled this.

Some have theorized abortion is being made illegal now because the fertility rates from the clot shots are going to plummet, and if the abortion clinics see their business fall off, it's going to be obvious. I don't know but it's an interesting theory. If you get time, research a bit what has happened to women's fertility and periods and babies in relation to the vaxxes. Naomi Wolf has written quite a bit about this.

Anyone here wonder about the timing of all this? The country is a tinderbox. And they seem intent on lighting a match. I still think there's going to be an extreme right wing resurgence.  It's been my theory. I'm disaffected from the left but don't support the other side either. There's people like me out there, who are beyond disgusted. I'm disgusted watching this too. No one cares about babies or human lives. They seem to do everything they can to make things worse. 

Leaving Another Church: My Departure from the Unitarian Universalist Church

I've decided to leave the Unitarian Universalist church. I've stopped going to all services a month ago. I'm going to finish out my garden on the property in a garden box  [that will be done in Sept or early Oct], and then I'll be completely done. Walking on eggshells for three years got really rough. Covid destroyed things for me too. I wrote one understanding and kind member this: 

"The Covid thing is too huge to me, with medical freedom and the future they want for us with constant gene altering mRNA shots and more. I also don't agree with the woke stuff or trans. Even my religious beliefs probably have moved out of UUism, still believe in God and teachings of Jesus though I am not going to return to the evangelical world". 

The sad thing is my religious beliefs don't really fit anywhere. Things are very complex. 

The "woke" politics were too much even a few years ago. The UU has come to resemble a political action committee interested only in corporate approved "identity politics" than an actual religion anymore. One of my recent poems, has the line, "The woke don't care about the broke". The mainstream liberal politics nauseate me more and more. They are all corporate directed, and the wealthy transexuals with tens of thousands of dollars to toss away on dysfunctional body modification seem to be the only people that matter anymore.

No one cares about the poor and working class people sinking under the waves. Transgender surgeries harm even adults. Pushing this stuff on kids is criminal. Woke is the epitome of the powers that be pushing "identity politics" above everything else as they bring in tyranny and crush us all into oblivion. "Woke" is indeed fascist.  How is the church of wokedom going to work for me? It's not.

I could talk to some friendly souls there, but I had little in common anymore with most of my congregation. There were many very positive memories there too so that is to be taken into account. I tried talking things out but just grew most alone around most. You know how that goes where you are afraid to be yourself. 

One thing that kept me in the fellowship, was they were very interactive, and allowed discussions and lay services.  I won't be returning to any churches, because sitting there being spoon fed is never going to do it again for me. My husband was very happy with that part of things. It is extremely rare in churches. 

Most did not relate to how Covid destroyed my life either. There really was no relating. If anything, this is where a huge degree of toxic positivity really came to fruition. Many church members focused on "having gratitude", which honestly that grew old after a while because it just seemed like more spiritual bypassing I learned while in fundamentalism, to dampen down any emotions and put a fake smile on your face. Many of these folks meant well, I even wondered how much harm these teachings had on them, but it was something that worried me. There was the unwritten rule to "never talk about the bad stuff."

If these people never share their problems with me, and everything is always about saving face and looking good. Why even be there?  Add to that the constant theme of claiming I've fallen down rabbit holes from social media because Pfizer seems to be a god to them. This invalidation took a toll too.

Toxic Positivity-Why It's Harmful and What to Say Instead

 I talked in the past about how my evangelical and fundamentalist churches practiced toxic positivity, telling those who "complained" they were muttering against the Lord and didn't have enough faith to "trust in God", the UU followed the "gratitude" gospel.  There were social rules in the congregation that you never complain about anything especially among the women. This didn't apply to all, but some. I talked about art and intellectual things with them for years, and wanted the whole experience to be positive. After all I was happy there. There was no need to bring up  much "bad stuff". But I noticed after Covid, I was very much alone. There was no going below the surface. There were times I told my husband, "I feel like I'm around coworkers where everyone is jostling for position and trying to show their best sides always. The room can be on fire but we are expected to smile and say everything is going great"

 As I expressed grief over things there was no understanding. Many folks there were very nice people, they treated me much better than other churches even. However most are very wealthy and were taking constant vacations even overseas during Covid. Here I was, shaking with fear, afraid to even eat in a restaurant and people were flying overseas to see the world. My household was falling into the inflation abyss. No one related. I did try to open dialogue, but there was always a shut door in my face and I gave up. 

My views about Covid did separate me from the congregation to the max. When you are afraid to share your views, it means something that is not good. I quizzed the few people in the congregation that knew some of my views, they are still lining up for boosters now in 2023!  What number are they on 6 or 7? I lost track and really don't know. I felt grief over what I expected to happen to them. Many did become sick or got new health problems.

The very few I told, all had the same reaction, they disagreed but there was always an invalidation there, "You don't believe the "Science TM", "You've gone done rabbit holes!" No, I watched friends get sick from the Covid vaccine directly and read Pubmed. Arguing just didn't go anywhere. 

Many of the people were very kind, they even made me a garden box but as my world narrowed and I grew more isolated,  I was not in the right place. I was self-censoring within the church as early as 2021 to be "safe" and that's really when things ended as everyone jumped on the bandwagon I rejected. Things got weird when people were banning the unvaxxed from private parties in the church. I still remain in horror at what became "acceptable". I hope for the best for many in the congregation and will see probably see a few at community events until I am able to move but this will remain a life-long disappointment.

UU is going down globalist evil transhumanist, no more western civilization or freedom highway. I just can't follow. Leftist kleptocracy sucks. I went back into the UU after deconstructing after 15 years of Christian fundamentalism. My religious history is more complicated than most. The fifth principle UUs have warned about the "institutional capture" where they just removed "freedom of conscience" from the articles. These developments have influenced my desire to leave.

Things got weird, this is a T-shirt sold by the UUA that claims "Abortion is a blessing". Some of the Fifth Principle UUs online were rightly outraged. Even if you are in the "safe, rare and legal" camp, moving so far to call abortion a blessing, is pretty sick. Of course I get frustrated with the fact most abortions are done under economic duress, where the woman in question can't afford to take care of a baby or will lose schooling, job or even family support. You never see right or left talk about that. Calling abortions blessings smacks of Moloch crap.   Like they are going to turn it into a "sacrament" or something. I did see these women online having an "abortion" party where one made her friend an "abortion cake", and drew a baby being thrown into a trash can on the cake. That was sick!

Is this sick or what? Even the statement "trans is divine" is disturbing as well. 

It's sad to leave a church. This is the second time I have left the UU, I spent 20 adult years in UU churches including being married in one. I even became estranged from relatives for leaving the Catholic church and becoming UU at the age of 18. Sadly some of the reasons, I am leaving again, are the same ones that took me out in 2000, besides moving to an area with no UU churches at that time.  Class differences were a worry of mine even heading back in. 

With church in general, I'm done. The "dones" supposedly are a growing class of people. People probably are getting sick of controlling preachers, churches that prop up the oppressive system and all the group think. 

Maybe I'll be inside one for a community event or class, but after leaving the UU, I'm done with churches in general. My first IFB [independent fundamentalist baptist] church I was in, was a working class church. Being still eager and younger the experience felt much different. We had a goodbye party when we had to move away. The pastor was young and was a rare 'sincere' man. The rest of evangelical preachers I encountered were all oily used car salesmen. Church may be too difficult for autistics anyhow, with the constant social demands and masking. Covid complicated things so much for me, that's when things started to fall apart. 

My early years [4-5 years] in the recent UU church were happy, the intellectual explorations, the discussions, and more were interesting. Many of the people were engaging, intelligent, friendly and dedicated to making the world a better place. My husband played music, I shared art and developed a role as a church artist. I want to keep those good memories. It became a different place later. It just wasn't the same.

Covid changed people and you all know what I believe about the vaxxes changing people. It was a whole other world. People became very closed down. Emotionally they were flat. It weirded me out. Politics changed too and became more insane. One was expected to choose a team and follow everything on the team roster without question. One could have a few differing opinions even in those days.  I will remain in shock forever how not one other person in my UU church questioned anything. It will disturb me for the rest of my life. Why wasn't anyone else seeing the destruction of our lives, health and country?  Why did I have to be the only one?               

 I may be too independent minded to do church right. I couldn't conform right as a "fundamentalist" was against Dominionism and I didn't conform enough for the Unitarian Universalists who expected to me to sign off on a check list as involved as the fundamentalists especially near the end. 

Reminds me of my family, I was made to paid dearly for leaving the Catholic church.  Sadly there's many negative things about churches in general, where there seem to be many commonalities at least to the dark side of church. 

Finding community at church can be a challenge. I had some in my first church, maybe that place was rare, or I was young and idealistic, well it was more working class. I just get told I suck for not conforming enough in all the last ones, UU included. I was deemed "evil" and Satan's daughter for walking out of the last IFB, now I'm "evil" for questioning a few things and not being the "right kind" of liberal. People stopped talking to me for my opinions in the fundamentalist church--I didn't like Trump. I've already had "light ostracization" with the UUs, a few I dared to open my mouth to, for some time. Walking on eggshells doesn't even describe it. 

Church from conservative to liberal seems like a place mostly for high status people to show off. I noticed that, how the wealthiest families were always held up as the "best examples", the bragging about extensive vacations at the UU grew really old for me. I was hiding away due to bad lungs--social life cratering, and they were bragging about their weeks spent traveling through Europe, Eygpt and other far flung places. This was true in the evangelical church. A very wealthy Quiverful family dominated my second IFB. [fundamentalist church]. All the parties and gatherings at that church were for their various weddings, baby and wedding showers. 

Church costs money. Don't have money, no reason to be there. As inflation has skyrocketed, I can't even afford the reduced pledges of the UU. There's a reason you don't see poor or broke people at churches except maybe some very remote tiny churches/homechurches in the holler.  The evangelical ones always expected the giant cut of 10 percent, I never could afford. So I never was an "official member"  of my Christian churches. Jesus talked about help for the widows and poor but with most evangelical churches, it was pay up!. The UUs were far more reasonable but even there, it's sad when you can't afford church anymore. 

Don't waste time trying to make close friends at church. Some people were friendly to me at the UU and there's a few I will keep as friends, but overall, the friendships especially in the Christian churches didn't seem to go very deep. Religion demands so much perfection, one thing I have noticed in churches is people never share any vulnerabilities or foibles. Spiritual perfection and close friendships seem to be at opposite ends. There are a few I was more friendly with, this did not apply to and plan to keep contact with. I had a few friends in evangelical churches but there was always the danger of becoming a "project friend" and as a disabled person, there's always that "Have faith and be healed" edge to things.

The pressures for projects, lectures and church work, I couldn't keep up with it. The same went for Christian churches who thought someone on disability had the time to be doing constant volunteer work.

I went into churches looking for connection, I did find some great people here and there. I had far more community in an anti-war group I was in years ago then I ever did at any church. I'm  not sure why that is. 

Church is about social conformity. I didn't match good enough as a fundamentalist, rebuked for war protesting, for being against Dominionism, and not voting for GWBush. I didn't match good enough for the UUs, "wrong kind of liberal", not with the program, medical freedom beliefs, not "woke" enough. Things really changed a few years ago quite abruptly, I feel like some differences were allowed in the earlier years but that ceased to be. Covid of course was a massive dividing line. 

The UUs treated me better being disabled, I will give them that, but most disabled people in churches it's a hellzone, you don't have enough faith to be healed, "you did something wrong". Everyone comes at you for advice for your messed up body. Some UUs did give me the "toxic positivity" spiels. Churches in general seem to practice spiritual bypassing, suppression of any negative emotions and "toxic positivity". Talking about anything even slightly negative was not allowed at my UU. This worsened post-Covid, as it seemed everyone seem more intent on proving how resilient they all were, then being real about anything. I focused on art and intellectual stuff for years after all it was a positive place for me, what was there to bitch about back then? 

The fundamentalists at my poorer working class church were more open but the rule at Calvary Chapel and my second IFB was never talk about anything negative, and if you had even ONE mild complaint, you were showing lack of faith in God. Once at the second IFB, during a prayer session, I worried aloud about a medical problem, and three church members later came up to give me books on trusting God. 

I have enough hobbies to keep myself busy. I'm always behind on projects. Better to join a Senior Center [husband will be old enough soon] and art center than a church. 

Churches are money-making business and "busy work for adults". Sometimes I get exhausted thinking of all the church volunteer work, that was attempted to be foisted on me. All of them have endless committees. Some of this work there is a need for like helping at a soup kitchen, but some folks seemed to do nothing but go to church meetings. 

Churches all support the status quo. Question the system, well you probably aren't going to last long. If you are off the "normie" reservation in general, expect negative reactions. This could be anything from anarchism, punk, libertarianism, questioning globalism, liking Bukowski to an interest in outsider art. You will notice a growing sameness in all your church members, and a pressure to become more like them. Name one church denomination that stood against the Covid tyranny? If they are big enough to be a known name, there doesn't seem to be one.

I'm not going to waste anymore time on any church. I don't believe one has to be in a church to have a relationship with God. I believed years ago, that the "church system" had departed from what Jesus Christ intended anyhow, and think that way now. I'm back reading the bible and thinking about Bible prophecy. From what I can tell most of the UU loves the WEF and every agenda I now despise so staying wasn't an option. 

We all want to belong somewhere and have community, I had a lot of dreams about the UU church I was in, but there simply was too much I came to disagree on. The good memories will be held onto. It was a learning experience.

The Unitarian Universalist Controversy: When Your Church Goes So Woke You Can't Stand It.

The Angst of Life

This speech is ironic to me now, well authoritarianism took over the left even more so.

Stopping the Authoritarian Train in it's Tracks.

My Life of Sadness Among the "Juice Drinkers".

The High Church of Wokeness

Why Unitarian Universalism is Dying

Love and Truth Waxing Cold in the Days of Covid

 

Hmm interesting cartoon.  Maybe the answer is to leave the internet and "regular world".  Some of us don't have the physique and means for that escape but it sounds like the best option. Consider it if you have the health and resources. Where's the best place to go during full societal collapse? I'm screwed anyhow since I depend on this complex lung medicine to stay alive and many others.

I worry the internet is forming our reality. When you only get to talk to a few people, how is one supposed to know what is going on? In the past talking to people and personal observation came first.

My husband depends on the internet for employment so won't be shutting it off. I grieve however over the loss of having a "real life". This cartoon does add to my feelings of wanting to sell everything off and running away to the most remote, down home, backwoods area I can find in the USA or my county. I need all these medical specialists/air conditioning/bus so moving is not in the cards. Oh I wanted to return to my old town years ago of course. At least more rural people seem to talk a little bit about what is really going on. Maybe some do in the inner city too. When we do go out, I feel better in more rural areas. Fortunately I live in a county with plenty of boonies. There's even a few little towns really in the middle of nowhere here.

Maybe it's time to just sit back and watch the show. There's nothing more we can do. Those who warn just appear "crazy" to the normals. So it's a waste of time trying to be the Covid Whisperer. I was wise to keep my mouth shut in real life after I tried to talk to a few people and got very bad results. You can't keep people from destroying themselves, a lesson I learned long ago. People are absolutely clueless about medical things. 

It's scary to me how repressed so many people are now. No one is admitting any emotions about what is going down. I do not relate to the normals at all. I smile on Zooms, they all have lives, I don't. How are their buckets of money so bottomless to take endless vacations? Did everyone as poor as me just sink below the waves? I don't see many people in real life so most of my social masks are for Zoom. I'm in shock the streets aren't full of the new homeless but maybe they moved in with relatives or are hiding out in the woods. 

I considered going out and protesting the madness, but no one wants a target on their back. The local Covid questioner group banned me for being in the UU church, and being a "known liberal".  They only focused on the school boards and getting pro-maskers out. Sometimes I wonder if they are funded by extreme right wing people too. They had a MAGA rally this week. It's probably good I didn't get with that group either.

Remember my predictions about the USA turning ultra right wing?

My voting ballot scared the hell out of me by the way. We had liberals who only talked about gay rights and supported all the Covid madness, but then when I looked at all the Republican candidates on the primary ballot, it was all fundamentalist preachers, Liberty University people [my state is not in the South BTW], and those who want to make abortion illegal.

I hate abortion but these types want abortion illegal even in cases of rape, incest and would be death of the mother. One guy was a New Ager of some sort but at least 4 of the candidates were full blown Dominionists. It was troubling to realize all these people were against the Covid vaxx mandates like me and some of the other craziness, so I liked that about them but they brought other horrendous baggage.

If you think Tucker Carlson, Trump and the rest are going to save the day....think again. Go research who Peter Thiel is and what the company Palantir is about. Google Palantir, go see the page that wants to manage "vaccine compliance" for employers. I dare say they aren't going to give up trying to shove mRNA down everyone's throats. It doesn't work and they don't care. When I was into conspiracy I learned long ago, they use both sides against the middle. The right supports the technocratic prison cell they are building too. They very easily could scrap the failed vaxxes and push a new one full of mRNA they claim will "work".

We under a huge psychological operation, most people are asleep and don't see it. Even having endless people get sick and fall down dead and vaxxed people getting Covid isn't waking people up. I may as well show you all my Covid vaxx harm list. Why not? I wrote it all out.

My list of people I personally know harmed by the Covid vaxxes.

50s, male clot in leg, survived has had Covid in his household at least 3 times. Leg clot was right after being vaxxed.

50s. male, right after vaxx, got multiple blood clots in lungs almost died.

40 something, 2 females, both complained of extreme fatigue and never feeling the same again. Refused all boosters.

50s male, constant bouts of tachycardia after vaxx, hospitalized multiple times. Later got Covid when at hospital.

30s female, seizures, moments of aphasia, doctors haven't diagnosed her yet, used to be healthy. Doesn't connect seizures to vaxx but came up right after being vaxxed.

50s female, seizures right after vaxx, I think they have or had cancer now too. Never had seizures before.

female 70s in bed for weeks after first vaxx, considered it "worth it" but was made ill enough to go to hospital at this time.

female 70s, had to go to hospital right after vaxx, various symptoms, was healthy except for a few problems, third stage kidney failure a short time after the vaxx.

female 50s, stage 4 cancer--from Covid lock downs, now deceased. She was given 2-4 years to live, took vaxx, they pushed it on her, [close friend of mine so this was horrible] she died within a few months.

Multiple people who said they were in bed with flu like symptoms [sounded as bad as Covid itself would be] for 1-2 weeks after various vaxxes. Online friend is now sick from fourth booster. Of course they all say "it's worth it." A few of these people DID go to the hospital for the bad symptoms.

I know at least 15 fully vaxxed people who all got Covid. The vaxxes have failed. At least 6 had hospital level Covid with pneumonia. The garbage doesn't work.

See anyone waking up? Maybe some are muttering finally. If you know please write about it here. Add your own list in the comments, lets compare. 

The rate of Covid cases are rising.  I don't know if this is fake PCR or Covid or what or them all getting false positives from colds and their destroyed immune systems, has risen fast. This is to the point that in four groups I am associated with at least 6-15 have gotten Covid in the last two months. I know of a business where everyone got it, husbands, entire families etc. It's the beginning of August not exactly cold and flu season right?

It's the elephant in the room no one can talk about. I went silent. Have some tell you that you are "crazy" for saying the emperor has no clothes and you realize for safety's sake you need to shut up. It would be the same if it was 1935 and everyone was saluting the guy with the funny mustache and you knew he was an asshole, but didn't want to end up in a camp. The less that know my "status", the better off I am. However I am at the place where I look at this in amazement and think what is wrong with these people? 

 The fact the clot shots are obviously ineffectual and have done untold harm to people is being ignored. Here's a website where they compiled all the research studies of bad effects from the Covid vaxxes. These health problems are all severe and life changing but still the lemmings go flying over the cliff. What can I say to people where the damage is already done? What can I say to the ones still lining up for their fourth booster? 

Others speak the truth about how the system is collapsing and rotten to the core, but most just follow and don't care. For some reason it all doesn't seem to touch them. 

I may not talk about Covid anymore online.  I will here but in most places the censors and astroturfers are out in full force. They do come after you.  It's not worth the battles. Twitter is good for gathering information but if you step outside your bubble, then the hammer falls. Any posts outside the "norm" they crack down on so you just end up preaching the choir. The majority are not interested in the truth. I have to save my energy for myself now. My health is in a decline and I'm tired a lot. 

It's not good that my reality is mostly online now. I get a few snippets of conversation here and there, with a few awake local friends--the extreme exception and oddly a few country people who I can talk a little with. One told me the other day, "It's these people who have taken the boosters, who keep getting sick over and over".

Since I wrote Is it Okay to Get Covid Over and Over?, more people got it.  They announce Covid cases in one group I'm in and it's constant. That's the world now, where the expectation now is just to go live your life and get a bout of Covid about once every 4-6 weeks. The people I know are getting sick constantly over and over.  This one family I know is on at least their third bout if not the fourth and its spread through the whole household. They are all vaxxed up, but getting some kind of constant intermittant illness with serious symptoms. Maybe all these people just see it as a cold, and not a "big deal" but at this point I don't know what to think.

Some scientists have warned mild Covid can do long term damage. The vaxxes don't stop any of this process by the way. This post of mine on a message board brought out the astroturfers in full froth:

"Some are theorizing that Covid causes long term damage to the human brain. That even a mild case will do it. Until I know for certain what is going on, I have decided to err on the side of caution for now and still wear N95. I probably don't have many years left in my case, am sick, but I've lived many years longer than predicted and going for as many as I can. Lipedema changes trajectory because it's not same as regular obesity. One thing I am noticing in some circles, they are predicting devestating neurological disorders from even MILD Covid. These are dissenting scientists who HATE the vaxxes by the way. I have wondered about this, the elite want a weakened population both mentally and genetically, and they want many of us dead.

So they tell me on the right wing, there's no virus, go live life, don't worry, I am sick of all these people who tell me not to be afraid because I am unsure what is going on. Yeah great for healthy young you, but hey you may be gambling and losing too. As people here know I used to be deep into conspiracy and believe they lie to all sides. Tucker Carlson and others are owned assets IMO, so when they tell you there's no virus, time to examine things.

The vaxxed up left Covid disciples are basically killing themselves with each shot of clot shot juice.

But you think they will leave those on the right who question all this unscathed?

I doubt it.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-022-30932-1

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/misfolded-spike-protein-could-explain-complicated-covid-19-symptoms?utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=social-sharebar-referred-desktop#SARS-CoV-2-and-fibrils

https://cen.acs.org/biological-chemistry/Peptide-SARS-CoV-2-spike/100/web/2022/05?utm_source=Twitter&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=CEN

This doctor got banned from Twitter posting this, there's several dissenting scientists I saw banned for warning about brain injury from mild Covid

https://drjessesantiano.com/the-sars-cov-2-spike-protein-can-form-amyloids-seen-in-lung-blood-and-nervous-system-disorders/

https://wmcresearch.substack.com/p/urgent-warning-the-spike-protein

Some have theorized that China knows which is why their lock downs have been so severe, that even mild cases of Covid will cause long term brain injury.

There's other things here where they say it destroys the immune system long term inducing AIDS.

I believe spike protein is poison in both virus and vaxx.

So maybe I'm wrong and Covid is a complete hoax, but I don't think the elite are that merciful.

China seems to know something we don't.

This I believe is why they have told the vaxxed to keep getting Covid over and over and why the right wing owned types say it's all a hoax, nothing to worry about. {Everyone is full of spike proteins as much as possible}

In conspiracy they always lied to both sides against the middle. That always happened almost on every issue.

Some people don't want to face how bad everything is and to what depth they have destroyed our world.

This is all theories, but they banned all the scientists warning of this stuff like crazy, like full and total shut downs on every social media and other outlets. {I was reading their posts on Twitter and elsewhere}

Let me boil this down to one sentence, if Covid is so bad, and they locked down our world in 2020 for this, why are they having Vaxxed people get it over and over and why are these people unconcerned?

Now the hoax people believe the vaxxed people are all just getting colds and the PCR is BS. However even with this theory I asked a few of the vaxxed about their symptoms. Their diminished immune systems causing all this may be a given but when someone I know complains of brain fog from a "illness" that makes it hard for them to think or write, that's something beyond a "cold" isn't it? Some could theorize the vaxx did this to them, but they had otherwise normal weeks leading up to the "new illness". 

 Maybe the vaxxed are all getting sick with something else given their affected immune system but how can we know for sure? Some of the symptoms seem intermittent, coming and going. No one seems to realize how psychotic all this is. I'm on the spectrum. I'm not Spock but I expect a little logic out there and now there's none.

There's all these scientific studies too, about how mild Covid can mess a person up. I don't know if these scientists are all liars, but it seems people would have a few worries about this but I guess not.

We both personally have felt the pressure to 're-enter' society and to stop hiding out. Yes there has been some damaged relationships from this. As I wrote in the last article, I'm like a person who moved away. Some close friends do believe Covid is a hoax and I respect that, they know I am actively examining things, we agree on most but not that one issue. I can deal with that. They haven't pressured me. 

However there's many people now who see hiding out people like me to be "hypochondriacs".  Some have gotten angry, hurt and upset about our fears of catching Covid. With one friend, I can't tell him I fear the shedding, how would they not take that as personal insult?

Some of the vaxxed if they knew I wasn't vaxxed would consider me a "dirty plague rat". I can tell the few who know think I'm nuts for refusing the clot juice. I'm seen as a wicked person who "distrusts science". Some of these people don't know my unusual reading habits.

 Some seem in shock I haven't caught Covid yet and am still alive. 

Outside of reasonable decent friends, some of the Maga crowd who think it's all a hoax, have called me "neurotic", "a coward" and "an idiot". The local anti-Covid mandates crowd would have ran me out of the room for wearing a mask. What I find interesting is as they insult me, no one pays attention to the assholes who allowed all this to happen to us. Baric, Fauci, and the rest all get ignored in the clown show for the role of hell that has now been unleasehd. 

I told husband, I've had the kind of life where I am going to do for myself first and make my own decisions. I think following the crowd now on anything may be a deadly enterprise. Haven't we learned that already about the vaxxes? The pressure to get them was unrelenting. They held out carrots on the stick! "It will keep you from getting infected", they told us and then they changed that to "It will keep you out of the hospital" and that's not happening either.  Some keep claiming the tsnumani of how harmful the vaxxes are is going to break but I'm not sure I believe it. It seems people would have woke up by now. I'm upset they haven't but what can I do about it?

 I told some, I don't want affected by the spike proteins, and I'm not noticing with some worrying interest, that my Meniere's seems to be getting worse whenever I go out in public the day before, when I am in stores around normal mostly vaxxed people. I'm noticing a pattern. The tinnitus was extreme yesterday and today. I was in a few stores on Thursday. 

What if Covid causes real long term damage?

I earnestly really wanted to find out if Covid is really a hoax. I've watched the videos and messages. BTW my husband believes it is real. He has no doubts. 

I made a list which I admit is all ancedotal on one message board, going to add and change a few things here, answering the question "Is Covid a Hoax?" This too like my Covid vaxx victim list is ancedotal too. 

One thing us autistics do notice patterns. I always saw it as one of my talents but maybe now it is a curse, as the world has gone shithouse crazy. I notice patterns and details. The easy peasy answer of "There's no virus" doesn't work, I am trying to figure things out and want to. Maybe I am limited in my ability but do you think I want to live trapped in my apartment the rest of my life? For us disabled this sucks beyond belief. One thing that angers me is the "You have nothing to fear people" don't understand that some of us have seen insane stuff on both ends.

Ok here's the list:

I fear getting it and being messed up. I have enough health problems. Its hard to know who to trust now. I've done explorations, asking people questions about who got it and what the symptoms were, I seem to find evidence for it being real and evidence for it not. Hmm may as well offer you my list, like I listed all the people being messed up from the vaxx. I know online maybe about only 40 percent of people I talk to are real.

Evidence for Covid being a Hoax:

I know people who never have gotten it who believe it is a hoax. or they are immune or they have had mild cases. Yeah I have asked, How come these people who don't wear masks have never gotten Covid?. I know multiple people who fit this category. Now some people who did consider it a hoax did get it and change their minds, but they lived through it and said "It's just a cold". One admitted to me she did have shortness of breath.

I knew very old people who got it and lived, someone in their 90s.

Even in the earliest days, when Delta was around, it seemed around 1 out of 10 people got really sick but rest recovered. It doesn't seem like the vaxxes changed any of that. 

PCR tests seem very dubious. Some people online have told me they have been improved. I have studied about the founder Mullins claiming his test shouldn't be used that way. PCR tests and rapid test antigens if you study up about them have multiple flaws. How many people are being told they have Covid when they don't?

It was strange when some people told me, "I had Covid, [based on a PCR] but their symptoms were minimal almost like they had nothing wrong with them. One complained of fatigue. That could be a normal day. How many of these people are testing constantly and getting false positives? 

How come when three friends I know all went to the hospital with unrelated to Covid problems, they all got diagnosed with Covid? One had COPD, that would be easy to contribute a COPD flare to having Covid. If I have to go to the hospital I plan to refuse, I don't want to be given remsidivir or other treatments. 

Why would elite poison their own world unless they have an antidote? They have kids and grandchildren they want to keep alive. Would they turn the planet into a spike protein mess? Now some here would say incompetence and stupidity led to the biggest screw up in history. 

You never hear about people not having oxygen in their blood short of breathe anymore. [like maybe there was some real SARS at start they released but now its gone] 

Never heard of a virus making a million variants. Other viruses have changed and mutuated like the flu but not this quickly. The constant Greek alphabet names reminded me of when they named hurricanes.

There's ample evidence online of Event 201, and things where they seemed to "plan" out a pandemic.

Never heard of a virus that can do everything and anything to everyone like the super magical genius virus that kisses ass of elite on every score. Seriously Captain Tripps would have been better because at least it'd be over by now

Never heard of a virus humans don't develop some immunity too and get over and over again. Some dissenting scientists point to that as an "achievement" in "gain of function" labs. 

Most of the videos and websites that point to Covid as being a hoax, believe it is via false diagnosis vs multitudes of false positives on PCR tests. They also believe masks don't work and are a lie and that the size of the virus would easily slide through the higher quality masks.

The pandemic was planned endless evidence for that.

Some dissenting opinions point to 5G, other poisoning or bioweapons being responsible for the illness from Covid.

Evidence for Covid being real:

I quizzed people, some told me people really died.

I quizzed people I know who had Covid diagnosis, and symptoms [not one of the asymptomatics] and asked "How was your Covid different from a regular cold or flu?" Some pointed to losing the sense of smell, shortness of breath, funny heart beats and afib, extreme joint pain and other unusual symptoms. One person told me it made their limbs tingle. Another did say to me "It was like I was poisoned" and "it felt artificial". Another person, see below, talked about extreme brain fog. 

My husband did talk to a lady of a couple where the husband died quickly and she almost died of Covid in the early days.

We heard stories of people meeting and at one meeting 15 people all "got Covid", I know about a whole business getting Covid--they reported 6-8 people there at a local business etc. What's spreading?

 This one woman I know online and am sure is a real person said her EMT brother saw people dying gasping for air

I knew people who had relatives die--church members etc. Some were old but some weren't.

I knew this guy who almost died in hospital, online relationship but know he's real for sure, needed 12 units of oxygen [again some of these early folks could be some released SARS at the start of this] His lungs were messed up. He is only in late 40s, early 50s.

I know this one guy who got Covid, he told me it messed up his heart beats--this was prevaxx time. He's been sick a lot, may have long Covid.

Some recent cases they have told me of extreme brain fogs and other weird symptoms, "its not a cold", "I couldn't function", "I was in bed for days" Of course some of this could be pinned on the vaxxes.

What about that Ralph Baric and other "gain of function" jerks, weren't they doing something in those labs?

Why wouldn't elite kill via virus AND vaxx, maybe they do have antidotes, be it boxes of IVM they are denying everyone else, zinc, etc or mixture? I never believed in crisis actors. Have you followed the Alex Jones case recently?

How could all these doctors and others be fooled? I did ask a few doctors, remember I see a LOT of doctors, what is going on. A doctor told me he had seen some people die of Covid, younger people not oldsters. [pre-vaxx] time. I plan to ask one soon when I see him and ask if anyone is dying or not. 

I haven't had a cold or flu during 2.5 years of wearing a mask. That is the longest span of time in my life where I haven't had a cold. I do worry my immune system is being ruined from wearing masks so long. Yes it worries me a lot. This points to masks doing "something". 

Some think it could be a poisoning, 5g or something else is killing people. Very possible. I don't buy terrain theories, have gotten sick from seeing sick people and know who gave me something in the past.

Commenters here have described getting Covid including recently and that the symptoms were far worse then an ordinary cold or flu. 

I know 15 people in last two months who all claim they have Covid. Could be vaxx illness but it's intermittent whatever they are getting. It is obvious to many of us that vaxxed people are getting sick with Covid or whatever far more often. Summer is a dubious time for everyone to be getting a million colds though some could say the vaxxes destroyed their immune systems and that's all it is

Ok all of this is ancedotal. I also think they have muddied the waters on purpose. What else would work to split society in two and drive everyone into madness. Just like narcissists use gaslighting and double-blinds to keep the truth from being known, it's happening here. One question we could say, is "Why not both?" There's a real bioweapon or virus making people sick but the tests are crap, and more are testing positive that should. We know the messaging in general is illogical in general. 

One doctors predictions seem to becoming true. Maybe keep track of how many people you know are getting sick with weird infectious illnesses. Few realize this about monkeypox but there was an outbreak in 2003 out west and it remained control. Dr. Bhakdi is a doctor who warned the mRNA shots would shred human immune systems and bring a cascade of diseases. Very few are talking about this either. When you read about NYC now having polio showing up in the water system and about monkey pox spread, I remember the warnings of Dr. Bhakdi.

" Dr Bhakti is warning of progressive long term collapsing of the injection victims’ immune systems. The injection victims immune systems are tricked into self destruction! With the immune system destroyed as a result of the injections, all sorts of dormant infections like shingles, tuberculosis, Epstein Barre Virus, toxoplasmosis, cytomegalovirus, and other infections, will thrive and destroy lives."

Dr. Doug Corrigan on Twitter: "1/ Evidence that there’s a globally synchronized deterioration in immune function: 1) Abnormal rise in RSV and influenza in summer months 2) Rise in multiple concurrent infections (2 to 3 simultaneous infections) 3) Rise in cancer 4) Outbreak of Monkeypox 5) Polio resurfacing" / Twitter

(1) Dr. Doug Corrigan on Twitter: "2/ 6) Outbreak in Meningococcal infections 7) Outbreak of unknown intestinal disease 8) Outbreak of Cholera 9) Outbreak of Dengue Fever 10) Outbreak of Crimean-Congo Hemorrhagic Fever 11) Outbreak of Hand Foot & Mouth Disease" / Twitter

750+ Studies About the Dangers of the COVID-19 Injections – Doctors for COVID Ethics (doctors4covidethics.org)

I don't have all the answers. I'm just a person trying to figure things out. As I said I may not post much about Covid elsewhere, it's talking to a brick wall. I do think disaster is coming. I'm detecting some scary patterns.

Maybe I am too autistic, but I do not understand people's choices lately. Oh I understand people wanting to live their lives, but now that people are getting Covid multiple times it seems even that is not having them hang back a bit. 

What is happening to us, I believe is worse then WWII in many ways and may even cost more lives. We are in a real battle between good and evil here, and evil so far is winning. 

 Add whatever information you can to this post. I want to see and hear what you have in your neck of the woods going on. What are you seeing? What is happening to people? Are they catching Covid a lot? What do you think of the new monkey pox? Are you noticing they aren't even attempting contact tracing on that. Ever ask yourself why? People need to start asking questions and not accepting the illogic of this whole mess. 

Narcissists and Our Corrupt Political System: Can It Be Fixed?

Why are the desires of the religious right being shoved down our throats?  The will of the American people is being ignored in multiple areas. This was a country built on self governance, but whose governing it now? I even told my husband seeing Trump's attempt to lower the poverty definitions, it's like they think of the most evil things they can do and go for it.

Our political system has been bought off and paid for by the uber-wealthy. The needs of the average person in healthcare, the economy and much more are being ignored and crushed for the needs of the greedy. The right wing seems to rule without hesitation making everyone suffer more. Weak-willed DINOS, Democrats in name only, bow down and lick the boots of the religious right Republicans who want all of us except the most wealthy to suffer.

Even with the abortion law in Georgia, that governor was voted in via corruption, Brian Kemp was in charge of the election vote counting process. He didn't remove himself. So now Georgia has an insane law on the books, that is extreme and draconian where a woman can be investigated for murder for having a miscarriage. Is this something the public wanted? I doubt it.

Our government is growing more and more corrupt, everything is about domination, power, control, and punishment. This is not a government for the people or by the people but by wealthy vested interests in profit. The narcissists and sociopaths are ruling. Orange Cheeto is still loved even as he passes more laws and policies to make people suffer more. You ever see that guy support anything that does anyone any good or eases a burden for anyone? I sure don't.

Sociopaths and narcissists are really good at fooling people into thinking they are great. Most rule by fear, but then even with all the fear, some manage to fool people into thinking they are wonderful people. All these narc patriarchs and matriarchs of many a narcissistic family cult, play the fear games while helping out a few of their chosen types. They are fakes but people believe the masks. There's still people who believe Trump cares. How did they get so fooled?

Some of us who are ex-Scapegoats now watch the American political system and it reminds us exactly of how our families operated with tons of lies, corruption, and double-talk. There is a charismatic popular narc or sociopath at the helm, defining everyone's reality and silencing their enemies. Many are fooled and in thrall. There was enough people from 4chan, Alex Jone's Infowars, and the Tea Party to see Trump as a Savior. Sadly many remain in thrall, even after his tax hand-out to his wealthy buddies. We saw that too where our narcissists could get away with whatever cruelty they wanted and people still would not wake up. They still followed without question.

Trump is operating just like many of them. Notice all his investigations folded. How did he get Mueller to roll over? What things happened behind the scenes to allow him to get away with so much? I've been in groups of people with a narc in the room, and even some would discuss the bad things that narcissists did, they screwed over this person, they lied about that person, but no one dared to challenge their power and we see this happening with Trump.

One reason the Democratic party has lost the plot bringing people in like Biden, is many progressives believe in cooperation and talking things out but sociopaths on the right exploit this 'empathy' pushing forth even more insane laws getting Democrats especially the sold out neo-liberal types to compromise. This is one reason the Democratic party has moved more and more to the right with every passing year. Young people are trying to push real progressive agendas, but they are already being shut out by the monied class.

The narcissists are running the asylum. The rules forming the gerrymandering are no longer fair. We see them all supporting each other. This is why for every societal problem, they offer oppression and punishment. Did anyone ever consider when it came to abortion, that if birth control was improved, or accessible, we may have a day where no one would ever need or want an abortion? Nope, they just want to lock all the women up, outlaw birth control too and threaten people. Why are people paying billions to insurance companies  and middle men, instead of financing a decent medical care system? Our country is self destructing under the narcissist's sway. America is regressing. The corruption has taken over.

Can it be stopped? One thing about narcissists, is they get people to believe that things have to be hard and cold. "This is the way things always have been", "This is all you deserve". People are conditioned, into the very wealthy and powerful grabbing all the goodies for themselves. One sees this now where people are conditioned into the right wing saying "Nothing comes for free" or even the idea that life must be based around suffering and pain instead of life being improved for everyone. This is one role where toxic religion plays a strong role in the control matrix.

I often think America's only hope is to face down narcissism. Writing this blog, I have faced so many trolls it's not funny. There's a lot of vested interests, I discovered this on Facebook where, they don't want people talking about how the wicked gain their control or the corrupt tools in their toolbox. What if we had a society where we had a change in culture, where we faced down the lies of the narcissists and sociopaths? Where we taught young people to reject scapegoating? Where we changed the mindset where the poor and powerless and disenfranchised were no longer blamed but elevated? Sadly these narcissists got people to scapegoat all the marginalized as being at fault for everything. The poor didn't make the rules where people were to be exploited by employers, landlords, schools, insurance companies and banks. They didn't make it so the bills grew far bigger then the paychecks, or where life became nothing but a drudge exercise to survive. Narcissists like Cheeto Hitler are good at deflection. Sadly it works.

This hatred and cruelty has existed from time memorial, but sadly it's worsening. Why are all the laws being passed out to harm people and crush them? Why does the religious right hold so much power in a country where they only are a certain small segment of the population? Our country has been bought out by megacorporate and wealthy interests, they have sold this place down the river. Have you noticed like I have, that none of us have a voice any more? They've written the rules to suit themselves.

Is this the future America wants? A religious right, Republic of Gilead hellscape sponsored by Trump and his evangelical advisors who preach prosperity gospel lies to their deluded and aging flocks? A neo-liberal Capitalist megacorporate society where the rents have risen so high, only the very rich can live in the city while the poor are pushed out to American's new version of favelas? Democracy is dying in America. There's no representation in our representative Republic when every representative is purchased and placed into office by greater powers.

The laws being passed now are about punishment, profit, and control not life improvement or making life better. Many aren't even being voted on. Our politicial system has become a hate-filled mess, filled with fear, filled with lies and corruption and run by narcissists. We are long over due for a change.

People have stood up against evil in America's history before. It's definitely time to do so again. We need some major changes to this system. We need people who have brighter visions of the future too. We need to tell the narcissists and sociopaths, no more.

Financial Times: The Culture Wars Dividing America's Most Liberal Church

 Financial Times: The Culture Wars Dividing America's Most Liberal Church

This is a new article about the Unitarian Universalist church and what's happening in those circles. They talk about the proposed changes to the articles of the church:

"These would be replaced with a set of “values” represented by a flower pattern, with a chalice and the word “LOVE” at the centre and six petals representing the new values. These include a new commitment to “dismantle racism and all forms of systemic oppression”, and a change of wording in the very first principle of Unitarian Universalism. While the old principle said the “inherent worth and dignity of every person” should be affirmed and promoted, the new value says that “every person has the right to flourish with inherent dignity and worthiness” — a subtle but significant change in the language, critics say." 

Well, the troubles in the Unitarian Universalist church have hit international news. It's a small church, so very little is known about it, but some of the latest happenings are coming to light. Many are realizing the left and many of its institutions since Covid have definitely lost their way. They have become apologists for draconian globalism and the will of mega-corporations more than they have support for the betterment of anyone's life. If the USA goes ultra right wing, as I predicted years ago, I will blame the left and its failures. The left truly did become fascist for Covid tyranny. 

Culture wars made me weary in my Christian fundamentalist days. We had constant sermons on abortion, and other culture wars hot topics. No one ever seemed to have any real solutions that would work. It was a lot of rhetoric not backed up by any action to make anyone's lives better. I got in trouble a lot in fundamentalist circles, saying most abortions were sought under economic duress, maybe that needs changed. I didn't do well with other cultural topics. I still remember my last IFB pastor railing against those on welfare, while we were on welfare, from the pulpit, screaming the bible verse, about "those who don't work, don't eat". That guy was never short of a desired dollar in his life. 

Sadly, I feel like I experienced the same in the Unitarian Universalist church. I was on the edges as everyone rallied for the latest greatest culture war. I didn't have the "right" thoughts or beliefs and no longer fit in. There was a long list I did not conform to. Imagine being in a UU church when you are against gun control and think kids need protecting from butchering surgeons and doctors who want to fill them up with harmful hormones. Imagine questioning aspects of the morality of abortion too. 

Read this article for background on this one:

The Unitarian Universalist Church Controversy: When Your Church Goes So Woke You Can't Bear It.

One online acquaintance told me, group dynamics always disintegrate. They are on to something there. Churches, governments, social clubs and fan clubs always seem to go to a bad place. They start off with good intentions but then the evil people seeking power and prestige come along and ruin it for everyone. Just as empires disintegrate, maybe organizations do too with enough time. 

David Cycleback is right about the Unitarian Universalist Association becoming "far left authoritarians". They do truly operate the same way. Think about it, I have been in America's most conservative church, the IFB or "independent fundamentalist baptist" church for many years and I have had 20 years of my adulthood associated with the Unitarian Universalist church. There's the same dynamics happening.

"Fanatical, dogmatic behavior, such as exhibited within the current UUA, exists in both the extreme political left and right and is a matter of psychology not politics. An Emory University study showed that far-left authoritarians share key personality traits with the far-right. A University of Montana study showed that leftists are just as likely to be dogmatic authoritarians as those on the right. 

 There's a reason that the UU wants to remove "freedom of conscience" from their charter now. Just as much as the fundamentalists expected me to be a Republican, which led to many troubling moments such as when I wrote a complaint letter to my first IFB minister when he told me to vote for Bush, the same applied to the Unitarian Universalists. I was expected to be a supporter of the Democrat party and to support Biden. There were certain "expected" politics. It's funny but there was even one moment when I got called a "radical" by a couple UUs for supporting Bernie. Now some may say, well those things naturally happen, people seek like-minded others when choosing a church but it seemed the expected politics and causes got narrower and narrower as I got older.

Everything is so commercialized and controlled now. Even the "woke" stuff is meant to paper over and distract from reality. Just like the "identity wars" protect the billionaire class as they rip us off and destroy our lives, it's all distractions. There were times I started feeling like I did in my old churches. No one wanted to deal with reality or one's real life. There was no longer no interest in truth.

Wokeness is a Product of Neoliberalism

The UU massively changed. I was in the UU way back in the late 80s and back then, there was almost this accepted notion one could debate and still disagree. In fact, the intellectual bent of the UU church was appealing to me, because independence of thought was so respected back then. Even the UU "World" magazine instead of being a organ of every "Woke" cause like with the latest pro-trans article pushing surgeries and hormones on a young person I really feel sorry for, was full of debates and arguments in the "letters to the editor" section. In the old days, there would have been no silencing like this about controversial topics.

Doing away with article 2, is not a good pathway, and there is an emphasis now by the official Unitarian Universalist Association on "shared values" and "covenant" which oddly is a Baptist word, denoting endless responsibilities to God and church. They almost want to turn what used to be a creedless church into a creed-filled church of the ultra-woke and politically correct. I had discussions with one church member I had kept in contact with, that this gave me flashbacks to time in the Baptist church. 

I realized the UU church was losing the plot especially since Covid. I cannot even describe my level of disappointment, in being the only one who questioned any of it. Where I live, none of the churches questioned it, not even the Baptists. My old IFB probably just ignored the topic, after all their loved Saint Trump supported Operation Warp Speed. 

The UU sadly has become a bastion of so called luxury beliefs. I knew going back into the UU, the same class divide would still exist. This class divide I realized definitely affected my differing views from the majority of my UU congregation. Everyone's circumstances affects their outlooks on life. I enjoyed many people in my past congregation. Many were kind and giving folks. 

Many UUs are so out there in high paid professional and academia land, even being mostly well-meaning, they have lost touch with the reality of most people in America. Sadly, many do not realize the depths of social inequality in our society and what is happening to people especially the young. 

Utopian visions among human beings always seem to go dark, no matter what it is. The "woke" left seems intent on imposing their "anti-oppression" views via more oppression. What a mess. 

This is why you see so many commenters on this article calling the UU a "farce" and a "joke".  I think they see this divide. One of the commenters on this article refers to "boomeritis", others "affluent, white, leftish, well meaning 'good people" and others still to the failure of liberalism as a whole, and the travesties of unbelief and referring to the 10 commandments as the 10 suggestions. 

There is no political left

A book I want to read:

Hollow Gods: Why Liberalism Became a Destructive Religion

The Era of Too Many Dr. Evils

 How many bad billionaires are directing our lives? We are stuck in an era of too many Dr. Evils managing our lives. From Bill Gates to Elon Musk, just because these people have tons of cash, we are supposed to do what they say? It's pretty sick. I've talked enough about Gates dirty deeds with pandemics and vaccines, but what about Elon Musk, the guy who wants to put Neuralink in people's brains who showed up wearing a "Devil's champion" outfit for Halloween, with baphomet insignia included? Sometimes you can tell the elite love all the attention they get. Some billionaires people don't pay as much attention to, but they are creating havoc too like Peter Thiel. If you read about his company Palantir, I warn people on the "Republican" side, don't think the Republican party is going to save us from the biosecurity fascist state either. Some would say just ignore all these guys, but too many of them are having an influence on our daily lives.

 I am taking a break from Twitter, I felt like I was talking to mostly bots or people "employed" to be there. There probably was some real people but it felt weird overall. I haven't posted anything there for a week and got some kind of Spam warning today so looks like Musk and pals want to censor me even days later. I have a Gettr and Gab account but for a non-Republican, those places are kind of weird too, it's all dominantly right wing, though I do read some Covid related news on both accounts. 

I hate both parties so don't fit in anywhere. I did vote but it sucked, even the third party people were horrific, of course most Republicans were financed by the DeVos family--more evil billionaires. I voted for too many Democrats which made me feel like a hypocrite but the local guy promising to protect from rent hikes was far more enticing than the financier moving in monied circles. I did vote for some other third party candidates but wondered why some of the higher office third party candidates were SO bad. It was tempting to throw my ballot in the trash, sometimes wonder why I even vote but the "civic duty" habit took over. I worried I made mistakes all over the place but the nut who was against all abortion even in case of mother's death scared the hell out of me. Another nutter--third party-wanted to do away with all birth control.

 I don't mind information I did learn there on Twitter, but I don't like Musk and hanging out on what is now his playground felt creepy to me, so I am on break. With the Covid topic, it got tiring, the normal world still isn't waking up even as celebrities and others drop dead all over and there's no solution to actually deal with or end any of this. Most people are done with it all in the real world.  Most even "normal people" have jumped off the unending booster bus which means they are as unvaxxed as me now. 

 However because of my health problems, I'm kind of "trapped" for now, but am going to rethink things this spring. I'm housebound a lot anyway during the winter. If it's endemic now one can't live in a cage forever. It's been three years. I do think some people like me hoped to wake people up but but the billionaire own system of control for every demographic is a juggernaut that's taken over. They shut down everyone's critical thinking where now the absurd runs the show. That's why nothing makes sense anymore. You think billionaires live in any damn reality? Their money alone means they live in fantasy land and now it's spilled out on the rest of us.

Update: Im going to still post on Twitter a little my social credit score is in the toilet anyway. I just have to make sure I don't spend too much time on it.

When You Learn So Much of the Population is Stupid and Evil.

I used to imagine when I was young that the world was a better place, and outside of my family, I would be free of horrible people. I did find some good people, don't get me wrong, but I remember being in my 20s, and learning the hard way how many narcissists and stupid people were the ones in charge.  I think one of my biggest disappointments in life, was learning that narcissists were so high in number.

We don't know if Biden has won yet, I still worry Trump could steal it or use some machinations to get his way. Some liberals are too naive and don't realize that if both parties aren't acting in good faith, that trying to be "civil" and "play nice", is just one easier way to get screwed. This is an advantage the fascists of the world have used against the sane and reasonable people for all of world history. 

This election should not be a close one. I started crying yesterday, the day after Election Day, that things were so close, that people had no problem voting for a monster that has allowed plague to be unleashed on us. Hundreds of millions of deaths hasn't even been enough to wake up these stupid people, they want more of the same. I definitely don't think Biden is perfect, my vote was a "survival vote", but to watch at least 48-49% of my own state vote for that piece of shit, even though my state came out blue by a thin margin, I can't even describe my utter disgust. I never was one to believe that most people are good, but my view of people has sunk even lower. How can they be so stupid? How can they want so much pain? How can they be so racist, and hate LBTGQ people and want everyone to be poorer living in the gutter?

I know for some society has gotten so complex and overwhelming, many are running to fantasy. I made that mistake in my own life broken down by poverty and illness to buy into the lies of Christianity when the fundies got their claws on me. In my case I never became a Republican, because I could not ignore the fact that the Republican answer for the disabled was go die in the gutter. These people join extreme churches that tell them Democrats equal baby killing Satanists [the prolife idiots ignore the fact birth control and stable wages lowers the abortion rate] and Republican equals God's party and they question none of them. These lemmings would run off a damn cliff if their pompadour haired lying pastors told them to and ARE.

America has a self-destruct button on it's back. This election proves it to me. Maybe it's the economic despair, maybe it's being tired from the go-go culture, but I wonder if some people are voting in such a way to bring the most death and destruction possible. One thing about narcissists and people without consciences, there's a point of psychopathy where they don't give a fuck about themselves either. They will make choices and do things to even destroy their own lives. Does this explain why people vote for those who directly harm them? Do they enjoy being hurt? Does this explain why inbred Kentucky voted for Moscow Mitch who denied even the poorest of them a stimulus to pay their rent when there's millions of unemployed people? What's wrong with these people? Were all those votes cooked too?

If Trump wins, I may be re-examining emigration. The barriers are so high. Maybe they really have "ruined everywhere". I want nothing to do with Republicans. We have crossed the line of civil disagreement because these people hate human rights, they support destruction and death. They have brought pandemic. They are directly destroying our lives. I broke out in tears, because there's so many stupid and awful people. Is this to say I am perfect no, but when people can watch a madman bring destruction and not even give a shit, this tells me something is very wrong. I feel like I am back in the house with my screaming abusive family but the house is my country. 

Update: Biden sucked as much as Trump, neither party cares, they are both for the 1 percent, and have abandoned all the needs of American people. Republicans did continue their harsh crap towards the poor and disabled but the left went even more stupid and abandoned the working class and poor as well. 

Pandemic? Endemic? The Insanity Continues

 

Hey remember when 20 and 30 somethings didn't suddenly drop dead except extremely rare cases of Aneurysms? I guess when the bodies pile up like cordwood, they can shout climate change! 

I guess Covid is "endemic" now. Is this to be my forever isolated like this? I fantasize about filing a court case over the ruination of my life. I'll go file against the guy who made Covid infectible to humans. Why isn't this guy in jail yet? If we had anyone in this country who cared about it's well-being, that gain of function guy and others like him would be in jail. I don't have money, time or energy. The system is so corrupt now, the very fact that this much has gone wrong means I would most likely wasting my time. 

Why did the elite soil their own nest? Maybe they are so stupid and evil they don't care. However I'm leaning heavier towards the "real" side and that we are screwed.  I still hope that all of this isn't a con and said to husband if I found out I hid out like this over a lie, I'm going to be angry. However recently, I asked a naturopath I know what she saw with people who had Covid, and she said it was real and this is someone who doesn't trust the vaxxes like me. People really did have heart problems, breathing issues and more.  I also have talked to a few who got "long Covid" before vaxx time. Covid still could be environmental or something else, but people are getting sick from something whether it's from gain of function dirty dealings or something else. This is a battle of good and evil, whatever your religious or non-religious persuasions are. 

The other day I saw this friend, who is a Covid believer to the max, he's had all five boosters. I've warned him a little bit, he's one of the few I was open to. He thinks Fauci and Gates are good guys. I don't know why. He told me, "You are going to be isolated forever now". I said, "The crap doesn't work so what's it matter and I'd be dead within the week". I then told him about my friends getting sick from the vaxx, but he wouldn't hear of it. He's had Covid already and his wife. I thought well maybe he got a false positive PCR but he said this one guy had Covid who he caught it from and that guy ended up in the hospital so maybe not. The other guy was vaxxed up too, so looks like the same luck of the draw on where the virus takes you, applied before. 

He's a nice guy and and I like him a lot outside of our Covid disagreements but I got kind of depressed being told, "You are going to be isolated forever." I also get scared when he takes a new booster. One weird moment was when he asked me, "Why are you going Qanon?". I said, "I'm not Qanon, come on, you know I was out there with protest signs against Trump!" I wish I had time to send him scientific studies and other articles, and the me of yesterday may have done this but I learned finally, most neurotypicals don't like barrages of information. 

It is now very rare to be someone who has never had Covid. Everyone I know has had it. I wonder if OCD helped me. Like I wouldn't let either of us even take the trash out without a mask on, or walk outside without one, if people were in the vicinity. I also put us in KN95 during the era of blue masks, by April and May of 2020. We wear N95 now. However I think, well times going to run out. I'll slip up or my hand will touch something someone just coughed on and I'll itch my nose or something.

I also had weird "conspiracy" wondering thoughts thinking maybe whatever people are being exposed to hasn't happened to me. I'm not outside that much so maybe if it's being dispersed in the environment, maybe I'm protected. I also live in a building made out of thick cinderblock, where smart phones often fail in here, it's one reason we kept a landline. Maybe the 5G isn't bombarding me. Hey don't think I am crazy having some of these thoughts, at this point who knows what is going on. Maybe my body is too strange to get Covid with too small red blood cells or I cook mostly non-processed/non-GMO food. It's hard to know. Maybe it's just the hiding out and going to grocery stores with the fewest people in them and having NO SOCIAL life outside of seeing 1-2 people masked up outside, or in a big library room. Maybe the multiple colds in 2016-2017 where I was crying from getting colds so much back then, gave me immunity. I don't know. I still get scared I'll "get it" and with my PTSD history, this does not help mental health. 

But back to being disabled and coping with this.....                        

What kind of society puts a disabled person in this position? Damned if you do, damned if you don't. No one cares. I don't expect them to anymore. We are in the times of Stalin and Mao and things are just getting rolling. There's no crying at the indoctrination camp. By the way there's worrisome laws being passed where they are destroying freedom of speech. I'm not sure how long I will even be able to talk about things anymore even here. They took down that "Died Suddenly" board on Facebook, with 300,000 people talking about all the people they knew who died or got serious disabilities from the vaxxes. It got put back up but the censorship never ends. There's a hole here that bugs me, why isn't anyone demanding something that isn't so dangerous or actually works. It needles at my brain. Why isn't anyone calling them out saying, "these vaxxes suck, you can do better". Also here the neglect of actual treatment remains that I have complained about before.

 If some of you read the posts from the nurses and other medical people posting about what they have seen on that "Died Suddenly" board, you would flip out. There's going to be a lot more disabled people. The sheer numbers of vaxx injured or long Covid cases [prevaxx times so I know the vaxx didn't do it to these folks] or the less than minor issue that Covid may do bad things long term even to ones who got mild cases. I never felt more autistic then when I told a group of people maybe it's a bad idea to keep getting Covid over and over vaxxed or not. 

 In a dying, failing society, vulnerable people aren't cared about. They always show healthy people outrunning the Nazis or Stasis on our movies, but in reality there were old, elderly and disabled people having to deal with the dirty deeds of all their psychopathic leaders. 

 Just go stay in your apartment forever except your ventures out in stores wearing a N95. Say goodbye to a social life, to going to church to any future happiness. And then on top of it all, I am supposed to be happy about all this. I've noticed no one else seems pissed off like me, except a few awake people. They all think these miserable psychopath excuses of leaders "care". Well I do not. they failed either on purpose or via incompetency and stupidity. 

                                       from "The Simpsons" Yeah this is my life. If I was not married, I would have gone insane by now. And now they are telling me this is forever....Who can I sue?

I see the "normals" meeting friends and having social lives and yes I feel like my life was ruined. It hurts. I already had major social deficients going with the autism and going deaf and now this. I see these two good friends from time to time, and talk to people on Zooms but I think to psychologically survive now, I'm just going to have embrace hermithood at home, well a hermitage of two. I lost friends from all this or have to walk on eggshells with so many, its lonely. I think about all the stuff I miss out on for three years. I am still "stuck". There's no clear answers. Just go back to life, and accept the consequences and hope it's a hoax or that I'm immune or zinc and vit C will keep it away or live like this, it all sucks. Losing these valuable years of life to this has me so pissed off I can't even describe it. It's like my family won. 

Why aren't people pissed? I've asked this before. Stockholm Syndrome? There's some protesters in Europe but in America while they took to the streets over other things, no one cares about our lives being ruined or young people being killed by a vaxx that doesn't work, or medical freedom. I saw this ad for a regional pro-choice abortion law, they kept talking about freedoms for doctor and patients, and I thought hmm, funny they don't apply that to the Covid vaxxes. I'm so checked out of regular politics lately, it means so little to me, I feel like both sides are insane.

I saw one social media friend post that the vaxx messed up her periods, they were cycling constantly where she was having a period every other week with heavy bleeding and other bad symptoms, she was getting really sick, but sadly she went to go line up for another booster that made her even sicker. I thought, "That's insane!" However in this case, I went to go talk to her.  I sent her a Naomi Wolf link, but she had Covid before vaxx time and said it was really bad and caused breathing problems. It was obvious she felt like she was in a rock and hard place. Yeah that's what they've done with this. 

Then this other Facebook friend who is vaxxed to the maxx told me she is getting the "flu" every month, the Covid tests are negative but she keeps getting sick over and over. I didn't have the heart to say anything. She knows some of my opinions. I can't hound people to death. 

Supposedly we are supposed to all live normal and get Covid over and over. People think I'm weird now because I am still hiding out. China is insisting on zero Covid and I think they know something about the virus and it's long term effects. It makes no sense to me, this giving up, and just free-spreading it. This is the kind of thing that still confuses and I have cognitive dissonance watching people live normal lives while I've made decisions like I have. I don't know what to think but then I had a friend whose daughter had Covid and ended up on life support with residual lung problems and other factors, she's okay now but obviously Covid or something else did something bad to her lungs. 

Another thing I keep thinking is why is it so numerous. MRSA is out there, anyone can catch MRSA, but I didn't shut down my life over MRSA, I lived it but with this Covid crap it seems everywhere constantly. There's the lulls and we seem to go into one, but then the roller coaster ride begins anew. I don't get why this disease won't die out or keeps going and I do think if a monster in a lab created a real virus [bioengineered weapon] where a human being can never develop immunity, then we are looking at the collapse of society. This monster will be remembered forever as worse than Hitler, and Mengele.

I'm creeped out on how they have so quickly normalized ill health, getting "sick" from the failed vaxxes, and just over all decay and destruction of society. They keep talking about people "quiet quitting" jobs but I think people in general have lost motivation and hope. Why work hard if there's nothing to work for and the prices just keep skyrocketing anyway? Why plan for the future when there doesn't seem to be one anyway? One thing I am noticing is even formerly happy people are depressed and melancholic and this feels weird for a life long melancholic. Many are edgy and easily angered. It's better to maybe be a bit antisocial now in some ways. I can escape into my spiritual ponderings in trying to figure out how I ended up in a life and world like this one, but there's times I've said to my husband, "Did we die and not know it and end up in hell?" Then I think quit being silly you got food and power still. You've lived far worse, but it does feel like we are in some kind of altered reality, like living a real life sci fi or dystopian movie. 

People are checking out. If I had any degree of health, I'd head for the hills as I said and live the most remote rural life I could find.  Teens aren't going to want part time jobs if it means you bring home illness to the family. Some who may have wanted to supplement incomes, don't want to take the risk. I'm under a bit of strain because my husband's temporary job could end this December, and we don't know if there is an extension. We hope he can get more remote work. He still has his transcription work. If he can't then we have to enter the Covid gauntlet via exposure at a job. All the bills have skyrocketed.  How long will someone like me last if it's real. The working class has already been bombarded.

The happier ones are the "I don't care" types who remain ignorant of all the troubles. The extroverts with friends at the bar, who for some reason have no worries. They believe the tales that Covid is just like a cold, and you can easily fight it off and it won't do anything long term. All I know is I have read multiple articles that every bout cuts down the immune system. Who knows whats going on. So you've had a cold 10 times? What about Covid 10 times? What about the 15th booster? There's studies saying that negatively affects your immune system too. 

The acceptance of all the death too from the vaxxes is psychotic. 16 year olds dropping dead on ball fields and no one gives a damn! Line up and do your part for the state. Delusional insanity ignoring endless side effects. In years past, far less got products removed from the market. 

Also I see the cracks forming everywhere. You know the ones you can't talk about with the brainwashed normies? We have these "Dollar" stores of various names here, and the other day I went into one and it looked like a bomb hit it. There was crap in every aisle so it made it very hard to get around in a walker. I knocked over this boxes of brooms, and had husband pick it up since it was too heavy for me. I asked the manager, "What's going on?" She claimed she couldn't get help but that store is not that busy. I go there all the time, and there's never more than 5 customers in the place at a time. There were two employees at the front, and her that day, so why not assign someone to aisle clean up? I had the ominous thought, that their brains were disorganized, and the store had that look, like people couldn't figure out how to put things on shelves and organize anymore either via confusion or breaking down mental processes. So I felt weird. I'm seeing this happen in a few stores around here. 

I took this picture, in case I broke anything knocking these brooms over, and they got upset but every aisle was like this, some were even more crowded with stuff. It didn't make sense, why leave small boxes out in the way for people to trip over? Person blurred out was another customer.

There's more mentally ill people in the streets too, people standing and staring. Maybe I look crazy too, who knows but I am talking obvious problems. There was this one guy shouting and screaming running across one street while I waited for my husband to get something from a pharmacy for me. I crouched down in the car not wanting to be noticed. 

I thought about those scientists warning about Covid affecting the brain or the Covid vaxxes affecting people's thinking processes and got worried. Maybe they were too depressed to put the store in order, but this is in too many places. I've been noticing other major errors too, like having to reorder my lung medicine twice--getting worried because I ordered it Monday and it still hasn't shown up, banking errors, other slips.  My visit at home doctor's office wanted me to enroll in some "managed care program", I looked it up and it looked like a way to deny me medical care so I refused. Some mega-conglomerate bought them now too just like my pharmacy. The kleptocracy is on the roll. 

I work on art projects/the zine--getting close to the end, and watch a lot of TV and spend time with husband and try to ignore the collapsing society around me. Okay here's a new set of Covid links for you.

Look at how much money Fauci's made. [I got some others to look up on this website]

Hearing disorder following COVID-19 vaccination: A pharmacovigilance analysis using the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System - PubMed (nih.gov)

COVID-19 Vaccination and Neurological Manifestations: A Review of Case Reports and Case Series - PubMed (nih.gov)

Proof That the Pandemic Was Planned & With Purpose | Madison Area Lyme Support Group

What's this crap about?

https://childrenshealthdefense.org/defender/cdc-vsafe-data-americans-medical-care-covid-vaccination-et/

https://www.icandecide.org/v-safe/

https://www.mdpi.com/2076-393X/10/10/1651

https://sensereceptornews.com/?p=9385

https://pauloosterhuis.substack.com/p/are-witnessing-now-suggests-vaccine?r=koesb&s=w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

https://alexberenson.substack.com/p/urgent-the-pandemics-wrongest-man/comments?s=r

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/ngyrfn/why_hasnt_this_guy_ralph_baric_funded_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/comments/oye143/ralph_baric_chilling_in_wuhan_with_bat_lady_and_a/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2973827/

https://old.reddit.com/r/vaccinelonghaulers/  Endless horror stories, all life altering destroying disabilities from the shots. Remember every booster round is a spin of the roulette wheel. 

https://rumble.com/v13kefy-must-see-the-plan-who-plans-for-10-years-of-pandemics-from-2020-to-2030.html

https://www.organicconsumers.org/blog/biolabs-your-backyard

https://capitolsheila.substack.com/p/in-jan-2019-us-funded-coronavirus?utm_source=%2Fprofile%2F39148584-capitolsheila&utm_medium=reader2