Monday, February 2, 2015


Both picture and quote from Sanctuary For Awareness and Recovery [Facebook page]:

"Keeping you "in the loop" regarding whatever is going on, schedules, events, gatherings, activities and changes is a very normal part of friendship, family, and partnership. The closer the relationship is supposed to be, the more important this is.

Lack of communication is evidence of many things, none of them positive. Very often, when it's done TO a person who does this, they are very upset, offended, even enraged; but when they do it TO another person, they have a hundred ways to justify and rationalize their actions.

After a while, relationships where clear, direct, and respectful communication is withheld will break down, because communication is literally the thread and fabric that create, maintain, and build any relationship.

While some people who have problems communicating are not doing it consciously, they can usually simply improve their relationships by learning better communication skills from other people and outside resources. There is a wealth of easily accessible information readily available for anyone who wants to improve their communications and relationships with family, friends, partners, children, parents, and others in community and in general.

However, people who purposely don't communicate directly or respectfully often also do other manipulative, self-centered, or self-righteous things such as controlling who gets invited to certain gatherings and activities on one occasion and who does not on another. 

 They may try to control which of their relatives talk to other relatives, and which of their friends talk to certain other friends (or don't). They may invite only certain friends or family to an activity, and then boast about the activity to those who were not invited but who it would have been appropriate to invite.

This kind of behavior is often learned directly from older relatives during childhood.
Sadly, this behavior usually results in destruction of friendships, family relationships, and even entire communities and regions where it's common. This means destruction in the lives of individuals both who do the behavior, and who it's done to, and those who are connected to either."

Communication is a two way road. We have to not blame ourselves if it breaks down. I know in my case I have some letting go to do, knowing I tried my best but there is nothing good to come from banging my head on walls. If a narcissists destroys your relationships do not be surprised. However do not blame yourself. It wasn't you that destroyed these relationships. The flying monkeys and manipulated too failed to communicate.  Sadly narcissistic control of people is that strong. The above quote describes what many of us go through, the narcissists controlling and blocking communication. Find people who will talk to you like a human being and who care about communication.

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