This is the Result of NDAA

"Brian Jacob Church spent the better part of a day shackled inside Chicago's Homan Square, denied access to an attorney, before police finally sent him to be booked and charged. "When you go in," he tells the Guardian, "no one knows what's happened to you."
This guy got lucky since he got out.

They wiped away many guarantees with the NDAA. This is like a domestic Guantanamo!

Remember with NDAA it is not just people from other countries or "terrorists", they can now "disappear" American citizens.

I have warned about NDAA for years but very few listen.

They Don't Care About the Constitution Anymore!

When the Bottom Falls Out: Trump has Declared War on the American People

The above is a poster I drew in 2017 and carried in a local protest. It is ironic now, given what is happening....

Trump has declared war on the American people and his traitor lackeys are following lockstep.

He plans to order the military out on American people. Many Democratic governors are protesting including my own. I hope they refuse and disobey and stand against this dangerous man and joke of a leader. I saw the governor of Illinois express his outrage too on CNN. Trump ranting on about "dominating" the American people, showed his malignant narcissist nature. He hates us and wants to crush us. Think about that. He offers no solutions, no peace, and no problem solving such as advancing police reform and racial justice.

Everything is about control and compliance to him. Trump wants to crush the USA. He hates us. He is a racist, he will bring nothing but destruction and has already bought death to our shores via this pandemic. If you still support Trump or the Republican party, and I will say this to even friends of mine, what's wrong with you? It's time to get up and walk out, and take your vote with you.

Trump is a traitor, and actively seeking to destroy the United States of America. Every action he has has taken has incited more violence and more instability. Instead of standing against racism or calling for reforms against police brutality, Trump calls for more brutality. He has no empathy for the 40 million and growing unemployed Americans who can't even pay their rent or buy food from the pandemic he caused. I believe every Republican senator that failed to impeached acted as bad actors against America too. Putin must be jumping for joy.

I don't know if Trump can get away with turning American soldiers against USA citizens or even if they will obey. Here's an irony here, before most conspiracy people were turned into Trumptards, conspiracy websites used to warn about Fema and claimed one day American soldiers would shoot American citizens, well look what side they are on!

Maybe they wrote the Patriot Act and NDAA for a reason.

https://fivehundredpoundpeeps.blogspot.com/2015/02/this-is-result-of-ndaa.html

I used to get mocked as crazy and paranoid for years, when I brought up my distrust of 9-11 era changes in laws. My Nazi family almost seemed ready to tackle me one day when I said, "9-11 has been used to destroy our civil liberties."

Basically all dissenters, if Trump gets away with this, can be rounded up and blacked boxed. I warned for years what it meant to deny American citizens a trial, and naming them as "enemy combatants" for "homeland security". This is what Trump and his supporters lust for, a complete totalitarian police state with no barriers. I haven't seen any news commenters mention NDAA or the Patriot Act, but remember that's out there. Don't think a trial will be there for you, if you get rounded up in a protest.

The build up to full fascism has been going on for a long time. Trump is merely a step in the process. Things worsened with 9-11 and the "war on terrorism" almost 20 years ago. The country was bankrupted from endless wars that never ended in the Middle East. They created secret prisons, rewrote rules that destroyed basics of the Constitution like a right to a trial, militarized the police, set up surveillance systems they expanded on, infiltrated and shut down every group that wanted change. They made the job and employment world more oppressive, denied people work based on credit checks, lowered wages making life too expensive to afford, allowed bosses to fire on a whim, destroyed unions, and  tied health care to compliance at work so many lose their jobs when they lose their health and vice versa.  Trump has added to this attacking the press, breaking hundreds of laws, where Nixon was forced to resign over far less.  It's been going this way for a long time. I used to make comments about Trump's name while in conspiracy mode. What does the word Trump mean? Trump was a card game word, that means "beat someone". I suppose Trump is beating the USA now.

Yesterday, I and my husband were watching CNN, and saw Trump march in front of a church to appeal to his religious base and hold up a Bible up high. I joked, "If there was a God who cared, that bible would burst into flames and some lightning would solve our problems for us!".

Pondering bible prophecy too, I made another joke, "Everyone thought the antichrist would look cool and be styling to fool everyone, no one imagined it would be an ugly orange dope." Humor aside, it's gross to watch this sadistic fool pander to his legions of deluded religious followers.


Two weeks ago, I was watching Handmaid's Tale. This show was somewhat triggering given my fundamentalist Christian past though even though I never became a Republican and was against Dominionism. The Christian Taliban is as much a danger to America as any other extreme group. It looks like they've taken over just like on that show.

Two scary facts about the story line in Handmaid's Tale: A pandemic makes it possible for the "Sons of Jacob"--the religious extremists to take over, and secondly armed men with AK 47s take over various government buildings which allow the extreme religious cult to take over and institute an authoritarian government. Remember the intimidation by protesters in Michigan, making death threats against the governor there? Trump called them "very good people", while calling people at the recent protests "thugs".

Religion is often used as control by elites, and well the evangelical base of Trump, has literally brought hell to our country. They vote and stand for oppression.

I wonder if I will be a victim in Trump's purges to come. Dictators love those. When pro-fascist Trump recently came out against Antifa, or anti-fascist people, it made me wonder if I dared to wear my "Fatties against Fascism" t-shirt out in public, if I would get black boxed somewhere. I also belong on Facebook to the group Fat Rose/Fat Lib Ink. They are a fat rights group that have directly stood against fascism. I still will give them my support as well as other liberal causes.


It's interesting in World War II, American soldiers fought against fascism, but now the Orange Sociopath blatantly supports it. Antifa is a nebulous word or definition where Trump could round up any leftist he wants, claiming they are anti-fascist. This is one place where my disgust for his stupid followers is high, because they are basically admitting they are fascists supporting this man.

Don't forget Trump allowed the pandemic to come here, ignoring intelligence, setting the USA up for destruction. He has given no words of solace to those who have died from his willful failures to the American people. We have a nation of people who have been locked down for three months. The young can't go to school, they were forced home from college, their jobs and futures wiped away. Many do not have money to pay their bills. Some have lost loved ones.  Many have lost their jobs or even seen their businesses ruined. Unlike other countries that froze bills, this one in it's greed had every car insurance company, utilities, landlords demanding the same pay outs. Just wait until the now delayed evictions get in full swing. The number of homeless people will skyrocket. When you push people into the "nothing to lose" category, chaos is what you get.

The first 1200 was vaporized with rent and food for many last month and now this month's rent is due. There are 40 million and growing unemployed people and those jobs aren't coming back. I wrote weeks ago on my reddit account and Facebook that riots would be forthcoming. All it needed was on spark, and with the out of control racism, and police brutality in this country, it was only a matter of time.

If a second stimulus doesn't come, expect the USA to burn and crime to skyrocket. Our supposed leaders were already arguing over giving people a second one. The whole system is jerry-built, the job system and capitalist system was falsely propped up and failing long before the pandemic came. No one had enough money to buy enough shit anymore.

Both parties don't represent us anymore. I am probably going to vote for Biden, this is a very hard and reluctant choice for me just because Trump is so much of a monster, but I don't expect oligarchy Biden or his VP to fix anything, I am merely trying to buy survival time or a pause in the chaos. That's if we even get to have an election. Sanders could have fixed things, and he tried, but rich assholes, conservative boomers and brainwashed people stood in the way. The young have been disenfranchised, and by young I mean 50s and under, and life in the inner city grew harder and harder. Poverty and despair have grown out of control. Racism has increased under Trump. People can't afford homes, or lives or families. The jobs don't pay enough or are near impossible to get. People are fed up.

The American people have dealt with one atrocity after another, and don't want to take it anymore.  Before as our leaders did their stupid shit, one still had their lives and one could live life. Now that they have taken that away [I support the lock downs to protect everyone] lets be frank, turning the country into a petri dish has added fear, horror and loss to everyone's life. This stuff is unforgiveable. They have enriched themselves while adding more pressure to the situation. Our own leaders have become abusers, who in their greed, have brought destruction, death and the ruining of millions of dreams. Some are wisely asking, who am I in this country? African Americans are tired of being treated like second class citizens and murdered by cops who get back up from corrupt court systems.

What will happen? Trump is setting up scenarios where America could collapse into war. All it will take is live ammunition being used by the military on protesters. Other countries like Syria have collapsed from internal civil wars. Rural and urban could divide. I live in a now Democratic run state, but live in a conservative rural enough area, where Proud Boys are now driving around with large blue lined black flags waving from their pick up trucks. Our state government was already intimidated by fascists with their artillery protesting the lock-downs.  Governors are expressing outrage at the insanity of Trump. If the protests are suppressed, the crack-downs will be harder. The racism and police state will grow in power.  If the protests continue, then Trump's violence could bring war and instability to the United States. Most protester were peaceful protesters, and that's another problem too with agitators and others probably doing their thing, with most of the mainstream news focusing on looters instead of the message. Some Black Lives Matter protesters and others made it clear, that agent provocateurs and white supremacists were entering the fray to bring violence and looting, to set up up the alt-right dream of  the boogalo uprising that will bring a second civil war to the United States.

Trump is a destructive force and evil to the core. Some brainwashed types will blather "Orange Man, Bad!" at me for telling the truth, but he truly is.

In my household, I have had midnight conversations about fleeing the United States. I never thought I would have these conversations. My husband doesn't want to leave. We don't have money and no one wants older and chronically ill disabled people.  I see bad things coming. Maybe it's reading too many history books, maybe it's knowing about my now deceased German mother in law hiding from snipers in the woods as a pre-teen. Maybe I've seen too much in this life time where I can't live in the usual positive thinking and denial bubble of too many Americans around me. My conscience is clear, I stood up against Trump, sadly he is taking America further down the road to destruction and evil and too many are allowing him. History probably will repeat itself. I don't support violence or looting of innocent small businesses, but I do support the protesters. I think when Trump won, we knew what he was and what he would bring. That poster of 2017? I was right. He is a fascist and now he's trying to destroy America.

George Floyd

People Still Don't Know What NDAA Is

I still tell people about NDAA, and at least 85% have never heard of it.

What is NDAA?

Cussed Out for Not Voting for Clinton

Language warning in the above, the nearly empty campaign room and the people puking out in the snow, says it all.  It's America the morning after.

They are barfing up "member berries" at each other. That I suppose was South Park's predictive programming smack at "false nostalgia" on the right. It is true the right wing, believes in past glory days. The 1950s were perfect supposedly and everyone lived like Leave It to Beaver, or so they tell us.

Yesterday I had some crazy commenter cuss me out for "Allowing Trump to win" and that I do not care about rape victims. Being a victim twice of attempted rape, one an attempted rape at the age of 13 by someone 3 years older and one another attack on an abandoned subway stand, their comments were even more insulting.  I have referred to both events on this blog already. I DID NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP and in fact webwide, have posted against him, probably even more so then Clinton.  I took down their posts, but I wonder how insane things are going to get now.

 I suppose such American ideals of being allowed to disagree or choosing the candidate according to their OWN CONSCIENCE has been thrown out the window. I respect people's right to choose who they did according to their own conscience. We basically got handed a pile of crap and people had to sift through it. I told all my friends, whatever choice you make, it is yours to make. I knew people who couldn't even make up their minds. Some voted for Clinton to understandably protect entitlement programs, others voted for Trump, out of desperation of seeing their fortunes fall and hoping and praying some change would be better then none. I didn't vote for either.

It shocks me kind of that now we have protests in the streets on behalf of Clinton, but no one could get off the couch on behalf of Bernie Sanders who while he had some faults, at least seemed to care a bit, in making a some real changes. He at least had some real populism to him.

Facebook is going nuts. I'm kind of scared to go over there. I have one friend who unfriended everyone in her life who ever voted for Trump. I hate Trump too, but Clinton was not that great of a candidate with her Goldman Sachs ties. My family before I went no contact, was having the left/right divide between the Tea Party narcissists and others. They already have gone to battle. I told my husband if things keep getting this bad, "What's going to happen to those of us who believed they both sucked?"

I want to puke too watching every past IFB church member except for 1 or 2, all coming out quite stridently for Trump. Of course they are posting the usual "my taxes!" and insulting every poor and disabled person, as they include complaints about the "free sh*t" army. I almost got in 4 arguments but decided to back off, and not get into that circus.  The rude attitudes and utter hatred towards those less fortunate then them, made me sick to my stomach. The Religious political Right is poison, and many have drank the Kool-Aid quite freely. It's one reason I don't go to church.

 The DNC may have had a chance with Bernie Sanders. Clinton didn't wow anyone. Even life-long Democrats I knew told me Clinton was "too owned" by corporate masters and "too pro-war" for them to do a hold their nose vote. I believe the elections are selections anyhow. They already know whose going in. Technically Clinton got the popular vote.

They got so many ways to "cook" the books, so here's my response to the nasty person who cussed me out yesterday for "allowing a rapist to win". I posted several articles against Trump right on this blog. I could not in my own conscience vote for Clinton. 

One thing I have protested for years is the NDAA.  Beyond my war protesting which by the way in this society brings RISK, as I and my war protesting friends were photographed at least once by a man with a telephoto lense in a closed green van. In a small conservative town, these activities did not come without risk and many were angry at us so people who want to "judge" me on my political decisions, the first thing I will ask, is have you ever put yourself on the line for anything?

Clinton supported it. If a politician supports NDAA and I know about it, I will not give them a vote. I don't care who it is. That's my personal reason. A local Congressman will never get a vote from me for supporting NDAA.  Anyhow I don't owe anyone an explanation for my voting decisions and other's don't as well. This was a crappy election where people were "making do" with the crappy choices we were handed. I won't judge anyone for their reasons. That's the ideal of democracy. People make their choices.

I am concerned now, of the growing protests and ire. It makes one even ask if the system will survive with people at each other's throats.  I believe the powers that be want this divide, and well people are marching lock step into the trap. Narcissists try to FORCE others to vote the way they want or lambast them for making sincere decisions. Sociopath vs. Sociopath. We didn't get much of a "choice". Politics seems an end road to perdition.

Fat Nation: Future Gulags for the Fat?

Some time ago I posted this...

"It's the Fat Camp for You Comrade!" [read it for context for the article]

Remember they always blame the individual...

instead of admitting that modern American life stinks!



The corporations and powers that be PROFIT off the fat. They will pretend they want to "help" but look at the issues I cover on this blog, nothing except for a few rare researchers are dealing with anything honestly.

"Obesity will crush the United States into oblivion"....one guy says.

No obesity [for those who have become ill from it] is a SYMPTON of a sick culture...

a culture where people live under constant unrelenting stress.

a culture where social networks and social contracts have broken down

a culture where most are forced to eat GMO and Frankenfood that is sold to us full of sugar and fat and goodness knows what else.

a culture where at least half the people struggle to make ends meet

a culture where leisure, free time for many has been destroyed

a culture with a broken health care system


Whose going to be healthy in this place?

I wish Americans would admit something is wrong with the culture, rather then striking their breasts and yelling mea culpa!

But then that wouldn't make these folks any money.....

Civil liberties are DISAPPEARING in this country. While people bow at the feet of Obama, and imagine him to be a classic "liberal", his signing of bills that have limited free speech like HR 347 and the would be dystopian horror of NDAA show what he is really about. Google is your friend become an informed citizen. Neither party cares about your freedom either in case someone thinks I am ready to throw my hat in the ring for Romney. I'm not.


So thinking about the disappearance of civil liberties and the fat, one wonders where things could go.....

Fat people are already rendered second class citizen, with defacto class warfare, keeping the fatter lower classes, down just because they are more overweight.

Will people one day be fined for being fat? Have a ration card for eating?

The global elites and others who fund such documentaries know what they are doing. There of course is NOTHING about what is being added to the food and the inherent issues.

Please Vote for Biden: Trump's a Psycho!

The main reason I am voting for Biden is so something is changed with Covid-19. It is a selfish--I want to stay alive vote. Covid will only worsen if Trump gets in.  The Covid debacle alone should have every American forcing Trump out via votes. My state because of a Dem governor has more of a handle on things, but much of the country does not. To help us all stay alive, please vote for Biden.

 I am very disappointed that Bernie did not win. We can worry nothing is going to change with such an entrenched system. Maybe I am part of the problem voting for the "lesser evil" but Trump is a psycho. Do you see America surviving 4 more years of Trump? I don't. Biden is a sold out oligarch and I fear would continue Plan for a New American century wars, as America collapses, but I see this election as "buying time" to stay alive. There's times in life where one has to make a hard decision.  That said, I do think America is headed down, it is a collapsing empire. Chris Hedges is right.

Biden is not my first choice of a candidate. I can't jump up and down with joy with fellow liberals over Biden. Life under Obama was a lot more peaceful and he had far more class, but I never forgot that Obama signed the NDAA too. Biden set up today's police state and prison pipelines, yes that's a problem. It sucks to be in this position between a douche and turd sandwich as South Park would say but the orange turd sandwich is out of control and is going to poison us all.

The liberal friends who told me "Do it for the Supreme Court Justices", "Do it for the decent Democrats that will accompany Biden"--Trump's henchmen are all incompetent cowardly pieces of garbage, did convince me. I could vote for Howie [green party] and have voted for Green Party people before in local and other offices, but what would this do now but help Trump. Still under the sway of the fundies in 2016, I feel regret, that I didn't vote for president, though I voted in other races. Someone cussed me out over not voting for Hillary on my blog....yeah now I do see that as a mistake. I was wrong, I was reading all that fundamentalist "spirit cooking" and conspiracy crap and it's taken years to clean out my brain since my deconversion.  It is a mistake I do not want to repeat.

Biden has poor boundaries but at least unlike Trump, I haven't seen pictures of him hanging out with Epstein. With Kamala, I went on my Facebook wall, and asked people to tell me "positive" things. I worried about the prosecutor stuff, but some did present evidence to me that she supported some liberal things too. I can see the pressures on a young prosecutor to be hard-nosed.  Among Trump's list of nutcases like DeVos to Barr, Kamala is far better, even though I still have my concerns about her.

To have Democrats in power, could also divert the march to theocracy. That's another reason to vote for Biden despite his massive faults, do you want the Christian nationalists in charge? I sure as hell don't. They have done a national blitz to roll back reproductive rights, LBTGQ rights, and to enforce their extreme religion on us all. When I was still a Christian I wrote against Dominionism elsewhere. Yes I was a strange Christian. However this means I know the real goals of groups like the Council for National Policy and where the Christian nationalists want to take us. They have massively advanced under Trump. Gilead is a real danger. Stopping Trump from this alone, even if we have suck it up and vote for someone we "don't like", is necessary.

 Also as the predominantly conservative boomers die off, hopefully millennials and others, could push some of the agendas Bernie supported. AOC is waiting in the wings as well as other truly progressive politicians to step forward in the future.  Bernie while some are angry calling him a sheepdog, and sell-out, I think has good intentions. I know some don't like him working "within" the system. I was shocked and hurt when he told us to vote for Biden. It wasn't easy for any Bernie supporter to hear this and I was a gung ho one. He knows how the system works.

 I feel affinity for those who say the system must be 'changed' but right now what other choices are there? I took the ideological purity route in 2016 and got Trump. I would have voted for Jill Stein but saw those pictures of her at the table with Trump's campaign manager and Putin on conspiracy message boards.

Ted Rall and Chris Hedges probably would say, you are supporting the system, but psychologically I am burnt out, I don't want 4 more years of Trump, and want to stay alive. Some may say, "Bring on the revolution and burn it all down" but I have read enough history books to know how much immediate loss of life that can bring. We could be facing things like this anyway if the election is close, or if Trump refuses to step down. One sees open talk of civil war on message boards. I fear for my own state with all the Covid-loving religious nutcases and "Proud Boys" bringing on insurrection in our cities and threats against my own Democratic governor.  I support my Democratic governor to the utmost because I live in one of the few states succeeding against the pandemic.

Also let me put in this way too, a neoliberal with their faults, is a hell of a lot less of a threat then a would be Gilead supporting fascist, who allowed a pandemic to go on unheeded to hurt "blue states". Trump has committed so many criminal treasonous acts against the American people, do you expect this to get any better? I sure don't. He wanted to call out the American military against American people! Only our generals who had some sense stopped this madness. Why people still want to support this monster is beyond my understanding. Do you want a full blown dictator?

Yes, Biden should be in a nursing home or an assisted living playing bingo, reading books and relaxing but then there is the Orange Sociopath destroying our country, literally killing people and committing genocide against Americans who is unhinged with the football in near access.

Am I upset the choices aren't better? Yes. I think we should have had Bernie. We need change. Conservative boomers and too many brainwashed conservative and religious Generation Xers have their hands literally around America's throat. We need progress and vision right now not reactionary lies and nonsense that glorifies a past that never existed. We need science back. Oh that's one reason to vote for Biden, Biden would actually listen to doctors and scientists. Leave the delusional thinkers to run around without a mask during a pandemic. If Covid19 had broken out during Obama's administration, we would not be in the fix we are in at all!

Biden and Kamala also support Social Security, and other social safety nets, that Trump is hellbent on tearing down. That's another reason to vote for Biden.

I fear Trump winning again.  I am worried Biden was chosen as a weaker candidate so Trump would get back in. I am worrying the 2016 formula is being enacted again. Orange Hitler got in last time because a lot of people didn't like Hillary. The oligarchs have made a lot of money from Trump, sadly their greed is a damn bottom-less pit. I don't want to be responsible for Trump winning and destroying America for refusing to vote for Biden. Am I happy completely about Biden as a candidate, no I am not, but I believe Trump is so much worse. Trump is such a psychopath, he's already bragged about cheating or throwing the election.

 Vote for Biden even to hold back Covid-19 too. At this point even saving the post office by voting for Biden would be worth it too. I hope this November, we do not have the nightmare of seeing Trump become president for 4 more years. There won't be an America left then, count on it.

Update: I was wrong, Biden is even more of a fascist than Trump! They both suck!

Standing Up For One's Beliefs

It isn't always easy. I lost a social website friend the other day, telling them I was against NDAA and deeply concerned about the loss of civil liberties in America. I wrote "I remember the days when people gave a nod to civil liberties and cared about freedom in the USA, now it seems those days are gone." They got angry, and mocked me. I don't make friends pass political litmus tests to be my friends, but notice sometimes, this favor is not always returned.

Read this article to read about some of those growing concerns that others share.   There were people who have spoken out at other times in history who were rejected and "hated" for what they stood for. I would like to think if I had been around in different times in history I would not have been a coward and would have spoken out. It is not always easy to speak out   to even speak out about such things, I am a peaceful person, but definitely the climate is changing out there in a very negative fashion.

One hobby I have is being a newshound and watching some of the changes in this country has not been a pleasant experience. One thing I face in this world is I fit no demographic, the same way my body doesn't fit, it's like what I believe does not either. But part of life is standing up for one's beliefs even if they are NOT POPULAR and you do not fit the "in" group. That definitely has been a theme in my life. Some may see this as a fault, but I am not a person to mindlessly follow the group. Not to toot my horn and become the conformist's "non-conformist", but I realize one part of being outspoken and this can range from trivial matters to big ticket items, is that you can end up standing there kind of on your own at times. It is a price to be paid. 

I know even with weight stuff, I am kind of out on an ice floe with few others, not fitting in the mainstream either.  Sometimes I feel like those who are remain independent thinkers not influenced by a "demographic" block are growing rarer in number. Some idealogues on the left hate me for not supporting Obama and rejecting politically correct speech.  Some idealogues on the right hate me because I am not a 1 percenter who has bought into "trickle down" theories of wealth and takes every word out of the mouth of Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh as the gospel truth. It feels this way in the FAT world too. Where do I fit? I know belief wise, I cannot buy into the demanded ideologue of the size acceptance world either, where one must accept their fat or else. Here I have fallen in a strange middle place where the size acceptance world rejects this blog for not being 'fat-accepting' in the way they require, and the diet industrial world just has more shame and pain to offer. My body, my life discounts so many of their theories on both sides, and well, obviously that has been a theme on this blog. I have written about this issue many times. That said, I detest the diet industrial complex and what it has to offer and PROFIT it from.

Maybe it is because my life has been so unusual, the fat weighing me down for so many years, the hitting the brick wall over and over and my life in the balance from the weight. I think even backing AWAY from being 700lbs and a steady fast gain may be the exception to what really happens giving me a different outlook on what it means to be fat and what is happening with obesity in America. I know this blog has what some would term "alternative theories" regarding obesity and not your normal size acceptance conclusions but these are things I have been thinking about and looking at for upwards of over 15 years. I really do believe the truth is falling in the middle between those who say BE FAT and don't worry about the health repercussions or accept them at our behest even if you are in the supersized category and the Diet Industrial Complex offers no workable and only harmful answers as well.

My main point is to stand up and demand the TRUTH. The Truth is what I am interested in. Even when it comes to obesity and everything else.

Facebook Drives Me Crazy

I believe Facebook is an information gatherer and miner and what some of the "conspiracy" people warn of.  It is a surveillance tool. Maybe I've been put on some lists for questioning the status quo already.  I guess I don't care but I would probably tell anyone still off Facebook, just avoid the place.

 I joined Facebook despite these reservations because being hearing impaired, it is the easiest place to "talk" to people via PM and find them there. Having a lot of long distance friends is another thing that motivated me to be there too. I can still talk on the phone but it's getting harder to do, and I lose a lot of what people say. Real communication for me is written. When people talk to me on the phone, I have to concentrate to get every word. On the phone depending on the voice, I can miss a lot. Some people are better then others, but some I am only getting half the sentence and it puts me at a disadvantage.  I know even with one catfish, she often had the verbal upper hand on me, because sometimes she could say one sentence to me and I was only getting three or four words. Sometimes when you try to tell people, "I can't hear." they think if you try harder, you'll hear them. My hearing aids help but only can take things so far.

Facebook is not an easy place for me. I don't fit any one demographic. If people want a yes person they aren't going to find it in me. I piss off conservatives and liberals with different varying viewpoints. Some probably get confused by a pro-union born again Christian who can't stand Hillary or Trump.

I lost Facebook friends before for having the "wrong" political viewpoints. One person unfriended me just for me being a Christian and her being an atheist. Her old account seems to be abandoned. That's one thing people will do when they want to "ghost" people, they go get a new account.  One guy kicked me to the curb because I wrote I was against the NDAA and not happy Obama had signed it some years back. I don't get people who kick others to the curb for not passing ideological tests. I see these people who surround themselves ONLY with people who agree with them on everything.  They seem to live in safe worlds where people are there to back them up. The people left as my friends on Facebook are the people who can be friends with people who don't agree with them on every little thing. Everyone else already left in a huff!

Facebook seems to be influencing people to conform more. There's something about that place, where it would be easier to be in a demographic where your opinions line up with those of others. It's a far easier world for a Democrat who matches the norm of what all that entails or a mainstream "Republican" Christian who along with millions of others loves Chik-Fil-a, and thinks Reagan was a great president. Facebook is being used to "mold" people and their opinions and outlooks. I've written enough about how the be positive stuff on Facebook is shoved down everyone's throat.  Being an outliner, I have felt the pressures. It definitely has advanced "group think" using technology. 

Heavy Facebook Use Can Make You Jealous and Depressed

One thing that can be bad about Facebook and I was talking about this to a commenter on this blog, is Facebook can make you feel bad about yourself. It can bring forth envy and jealousy. I get the feeling that most people whose lives did not go so good, probably stay away from Facebook. One does not see homeless people on Facebook putting up pictures of their cardboard beds on the sidewalk.  What should I post a picture of on this housebound day? A picture of my CPAP machine? A picture of some scrambled eggs I may eat for dinner or lunch? A picture of me doing bills where I promised each 10 dollars a month to keep out of collections? How about scrubbing the kitchen floor later? I did the bathroom one with an old rug scrubber yesterday. There is part of me that almost wants to do this to take the piss. Maybe I should. LOL  I will take one boring housebound day and photograph mundane crap and see if anyone gets the joke. 

This commerical annoys me. When I watch those idiots all photographing their food to probably post on Facebook or Instagram, I find myself thinking JUST EAT YOUR FOOD JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE! One thing to notice about this commercial, notice how the family is not talking to each other in depth but more busy focusing on what will be focused on social media. Appearances have been made into EVERYTHING.



I like to cook, I made some gourmet stuff, that probably could be a shiny example on social media if I took the time to photograph it. I made rice noodles with chili sesame oil, vegetables and chicken just the other day but I wanted this meal for me and my husband. I didn't feel like sharing it with the world! Something is wrong with this, where people photograph every meal, in this commercial a boring potroast, isn't this the height of narcissism to have people think everyone wants to see every meal you eat, like those muk-bang people?

Anyhow back to the ENVY. It's a sin I struggle with.  Facebook often makes me feel even more like a "failure" or "jealous" and like I am "not enough".  Does it do this to you? Even if I remind myself these people on Facebook are all presenting their best sides, hiding divorces, drug problems, and even worse,  still Facebook can be a negative experience.

 I have not attain certain things in life the majority of late 40 somethings have managed. I'm an "outsider" to societal norms.  Facebook lays this burden on me pretty heavy.  Because of my Aspergers and serious physical problems I fell way behind at around age 20 and never caught up. I missed developmental adult milestones. Facebook for me is a reminder of those milestones I missed out on.  Stunted by Aspergers, super-fatness, my life did not take the normal trajectory. When one is in their thirties there is some slack given for being a would be late-bloomer, start approaching 50 and well, you're a "wash-out" to regular society. I have to work on myself day and night as people know on this blog to erase the words "failure" and "loser" that shout through my mind as an inheritance from my abusive toxic family. I tell myself "Don't compare yourself to others, they are not dealing with what you are dealing with. They had loving families, their lungs worked, they were not short of breathe the last two days, their bodies worked, of course their lives will be very different."

 Many things on Facebook can trigger me. I doubt I am the only one this happens to. I fear that place for anyone with challenges.  I see people with pictures of loving family reunions where the people all love and like each other but inside, I wonder about people who post endless pictures of them smiling next to family and friends. It is like they are putting themselves on display for a life contest. Everyone's hugging and smiling and looking at the camera instead of EACH OTHER. Have you noticed this? If you are having a real fun or loving visit while invite outsiders in for a view all the time? I know some simply want the memories but even there a line can be crossed.

Classmates who seemed to have blessed idealized lives from high school graduation on populate my Facebook feed. I wasn't super close to anyone in high school but allowed around 11-12 acquaintances on as Facebook friends. Some are very nice people but they have never faced milk crates or boarding houses or too many ramen noodles. They all married young, had 2-5 children and those children are all in their 20s now, and successful. The one high school classmate who was scared away from being my friend by my raging father, went on to get a doctorate degree, happily married by the early 90s and had 7 children. Her loving family even of origin embraces her in endless public photos. All my other classmates save for one gay one, and a divorced one all seemed to marry by age 21. Everyone is securely employed and they are dentists, system analysts, attorneys and other professionals.  My childhood best friend from the Washington DC suburb I lived in until I was 13, became a high paid attorney, same for a next door neighbors daughter who became an accountant and married a high paid accountant husband. A few had secure factory and tech jobs they never got laid off from.  Knowing demographics, surely some ended up poor. I guess they aren't on Facebook. It's impossible that every classmate of mine ended up wealthy especially since the economic collapse of 2008.

Most are grandmothers and grandfathers showing off their cadres of grandchildren in lavish green gardens, fishing on boats, planting flowers in their huge suburban yards. People taking vacations, to places I could only dream of. Kentucky, Maine, vacation homes, Mackinaw Island and overseas. I guess the broke people aren't going anywhere and not posting on Facebook either. Isn't Facebook a comparison game? If one thinks about the materialism and consumerism, of "Keeping up with the Joneses". In the old days people only saw the new car in their drive-way or new gazebo in their yard, now one sees on Facebook the entire LIFESTYLE they feel they have to attain to be equal. If anything Facebook has promoted this. It's laid the pressure on for conformity that way to acquire, succeed and "show off".

I told my husband one day, I want my life to be for us, and don't want to share all parts of my life. Yeah I know maybe I am being a hypocrite since I blather on about life and personal aspects of it on this blog, and maybe even I have gotten caught up in the sharing society to an extent but there's something creepy to me about all this, where people are showing off their lives to each other like "presentations". Life contests, whose got the best life, whose the most loved?   They aren't talking about anything real in a lot of the cases but doing a "life presentation". 

I had one local guy who I inadvertently offended with one non-politically correct opinion refuse to befriend me on Facebook, he had 4,000 "friends", that told me, I probably wanted to stay far away from him anyway. I think when someone crosses a certain number rubicon, they are collecting friends like trophies to signal their "worth". No one on this earth has 4,000 actual "friends" it would be impossible.

Even the family stuff seems to present children and relatives like trophies, all lined up. I wrote about the narcissists treating children like possessions and "trophies" and acquisition signals, of "worth". I see this all over Facebook. Parents constantly post on little Johnny's good grades. One narc ex-wife of a cousin, even slapped up her straight A student's entire report card. Children who present well are pictured all over the place. I don't mind memories of children and have a few friends who shows them and their kids doing fun stuff and taking trips, but that's more for memories then the show off stuff that concerns me. When they post report cards, something has gone off.

Facebook did wake me up to my family, in some ways. I wrote about how my mother would have pictures taken of her standing next to various relatives, who were all thin. There she was smiling showing off relatives as trophies. I noticed Aunt Scapegoat never appeared in ONE photo standing next to anyone in the family, they always relegated her to some table alone. Pictures can expose a lot about people. When I examined my photos, I saw the mean looks my family gave me and realized when I took a photo of any relative, they never smiled. My mother's Facebook account, had endless memes of "I love my grandchildren" and "I love my daughter" [my sister]. It was all shallow. Family as possession, family as trophy. My sister never posted activities with her children but only achievements, her son becoming an eagle scout, her children getting Catholic school medals from the bishop and more so.  Breeding bringing worth, children counted same as stocks and bonds.

Everything becomes about status in an appearance oriented culture think about that.

I often have the thought lately, I wish I could have a real world social life instead of a virtual one. I used to blame the online world dominating the real life one, due to my being disabled but now this many years in, I see the virtual social world becoming more important to everyone. Real life socializing has gone down the tubes. I notice very few people talk to one another in public, everyone's staring at their phones or on Facebook. Meeting people has gotten far harder. While I care about online friends I have met and consider them REAL FRIENDS, I usually take them off Facebook into email at least for a more real conversation. These developments worry me. Facebook while making meeting up with people easier, and keeping contact with long distant people a far more simpler prospect seems to be breaking down social connections in everyday life. I miss even just the way conversation used to be.

So I have serious concerns about Facebook. I won't end my account because there are friends I do want to keep contact with there and I have the whole deafness and PM thing to take into account but I think I am going to be lower my participation. I have to for the sake for my sanity.

Liberal and Conservative? NEITHER!

Today on a social website, I had this friend of a friend who is a Neo-Marxist academic type, get very angry at me. I had put up another meme, that talked about the media controlling information and how there seems to be all these political boundaries imposed from on high. Well she didn't like that. So she started mocking me and I unfriended her. Hey I am not bothered by people disagreeing with me. Show me some new evidence and I will try and incorporate it. One of my friends doesn't know it but during one discussion, I told him I think global warming is a sham but he brought up a good point where I said yeah we should compare volcano output vs. human output because the scientists admit that volcanoes can issue in immediate climate change.  If you are one of those people who escapes the "matrix" or the lockbox of right and left, Demopulican, Republicrat, a lot of people aren't happy with you!

I mean what political party is there for a person who supports social security [some safety nets] and unions, but hates globalism, the police state, and endless wars? Toss in my religious beliefs as a born again Christian and well I don't fit anywhere. I'm against capital punishment but against gun control. LOL that one alone confuses people.  Even the libertarians are on the pro-globalist bandwagon with Gary Johnson as a supporter of NAFTA. A disabled libertarian is an oxymoron even if they are right on a few things.  Even the Constitution party has those extreme we want to implement the Handmaiden's Tail types [patriarchialists] who by the way go against the Bible in their desire for control. Green party? Well it's a bit on the liberal side. I am not going to fit in with my religious beliefs or my rejection of post modernism.

Hey being disabled, it's not like I can move to Idaho and join up with some preppers even if they are correct about our disappearing civil liberties. Neither of the two big parties care about NDAA. Being poor too, I'm not going to go sign up with the Tea Party while helping the bankers in getting people to sign up for their own demise on behalf of the elite.  When they scream about their disappearing taxes, those types want people like me [especially those big mooching fatties] to be thrown off the government "dole" and into the gutter. So what's a person to do? I wonder how many other Americans have realized that liberal and conservative barely mean anything anymore. I remember when liberals supported civil liberties and so did conservatives. The Occupy movement was right about a lot but ignored the fact government and big business work together.

It can be tough when you walk outside the "box" and look at it from the outside, and see what a mess it is. People don't like what you have to say especially if you're in a place where you manage to upset both sides.

Update 2019: I consider myself a liberal today, more on the very progressive side. Deconverting changed that but I had kept liberal values the whole way through which made for a lot of cognitive dissonance. In the USA, we have the sold out centrist party, with the extreme right party and both moved so far to the right, I am not even sure we have any true liberals out there outside of politics like Bernie and AOC, who I support. 

Update 2025: Both parties suck, and support the oligarchy. The "liberals" of today are now pro-war, pro-oligarchy, pro-oppression and bow before and lick the boots of Pfizer and megacorporations. The right wing wants to throw the poor and disabled in the gutter still. Nothing has changed. Everything since 2013 became far more authoritarian. I no longer support Bernie, he failed to speak out during the Democide. I no longer support AOC or any of her policies or agendas. 

Authoritarian America: The Path To Tyranny

How Democrats Lost Their Populist Soul

"For most Americans, the institutions that touch their lives are unreachable. Americans get broadband through Comcast, their internet through Google, their seeds and chemicals through Monsanto. They sell their grain through Cargill and buy everything from books to lawnmowers through Amazon. Open markets are gone, replaced by a handful of corporate giants. Political groups associated with Koch Industries have a larger budget than either political party, and there is no faith in what was once the most democratically responsive part of government: Congress. Steeped in centralized power and mistrust, Americans must now confront Donald Trump, the loudest and most grotesque symbol of authoritarianism in politics today.

“This,” wrote Robert Kagan in The Washington Post, “is how fascism comes to America.” The nation is awash in commentary and fear over the current cultural moment. “America is a breeding ground for tyranny,” wrote Andrew Sullivan in New York magazine. Yet, Trump’s emergence would not be a surprise to someone like Patman, or to most New Dealers. They would note that the real-estate mogul’s authoritarianism is not new in American culture; it is ubiquitous. It is consistent with how the commercial sphere has developed since the 1970s. Americans feel a lack of control: They are at the mercy of distant forces, their livelihoods dependent on the arbitrary whims of power. Patman once attacked chain stores as un-American, saying, “We, the American people, want no part of monopolistic dictatorship in … American business.” Having yielded to monopolies in business, the nation must now face the un-American threat to democracy Patman warned they would sow."

Trump is an end result of this growing tyranny and authoritarianism. So is Clinton with her being owned by corporate interests. Neither address poor people in America. Populism was killed off in the Democratic party too. Trump wants to bring back Reaganomics and failed 'trickle down' theories of 40 years duration which have led us to the 1 percent growing stronger in power.

Clinton is owned by Monsanto and a wide variety of corporations.

Woody Guthrie and pals would be spinning in their graves to see what has happened today. Steinbeck would not have his book, "The Grapes of Wrath" published but would be informed by his publisher to write a book celebrating wealthy bankers and their troubles. 

I won't argue with anyone about who they are voting for.  I know most who have decided to vote, are doing hold their noses votes from the waif of the Turd Sandwich and Giant Douche. Some want to vote for one to protect their interests and the other for his words against globalism. I don't trust either and do not plan to vote for either. Trump scares me worse then the other one in terms of negative impacts on my personal life. The last thing I look forward to is a CRUSH THE POOR REPUBLICAN in power, we are barely making it as it is.  The Democratic party's rejection of the poor and losing of it's POPULIST SOUL, allowed the Republicans to go crazy with power. 

One thing however this article is correct about the Democratic party losing it's populist soul. I am old enough to remember despite the failings of the Democratic party presently, in earlier decades the Democratic party at least made the attempt to speak of the "little guy" and poor people and supported unions. They spoke of "rights" and "justice".  There are social issues I disagreed with the Democratic party even back then, but there was at least some semblance of speaking out for the working class and others.

This has been replaced with the support for the NDAA and trying to whip up war fever with Russia. Hillary Clinton is a globalist who does not put American interests first. I know people saw Obama, as a "good guy" but all I know personally is over the last 8 years, my disability check got cut to nothing. No COLAS means the checks have grown smaller and smaller. So I do not see the Democrat party as this great behemoth of freedom either. They are in cahoots with the bankers, and same war mongers as the Republican party too. 

As a person who fully participated in the anti-war movement of the early 2000s, the anti-war movement was even destroyed on the left, which to me is a sign of the growing authoritarianism and rejection of populism in our culture.  No one in America really supports those Middle Eastern wars, but they kept running under Obama's sojourn, with our growing national debt. Now the insane want even more wars. Americans do not understand how these wars were planned and how they are NOT in the interest of the average America. The big behemoths want to keep the war machine running. Now the left supports war.

 All the ideals have been thrown away for bankers and corporations. The Democratic party did unload the populists, and shut them out. Bernie Sanders losing to Hillary Clinton would be a core example of this. America is growing more authoritarian and one can see the effects in both parties which BOTH support the police state, wars and endless crack downs and rules.

This has become a nation of rule-followers and conformists who worry more about banker credit scores [slave scores] then actual freedom, justice and a positive future. Everything has grown too big, the companies are no longer personal or owned by small business owners but are huge mega-corporations with globalist interests that supersede any idea of loyalty to any country or region. These same traits apply to the politicians as well.

Trump seems to be touted as a "nationalist" but even that is just a story that is being sold. He preaches America First tactics, but then also claims he will bring "law and order".  Trump doesn't care about the Constitution either, in his support of "stop and frisk" laws. Dictators make the trains run on time and make a big deal of "order". The orange faced man is used to getting his way. He is not someone who will think words like "compromise" and "working things out". 

 The 20 year old parking tickets, is just one small injustice among many but there, that came from a Democratic strong hold. I thought to myself, why has no one in Chicago campaigned against this? Surely I am not the first victim. It seems in America people have given up even making a stand for their own rights. It's something I am noticing. You see a lot of shrugged shoulders and that's just the system. America has become a fearful place. Everyone's too afraid to speak out. People accept crushing bills for health insurance, fines, fees and rules that have grown more and more insane.  That is a sign of tyranny because people fear the "punishments" that await. 

Even Democrats became wealth worshippers and sychophants to the bankers along with their Republican "enemies". The crushing and oppressions have become so manifold, they see no hope and have given up in even speaking out for their own interests. Even this is based in the growing authoritiarianism.

 People literally have been Stock-holmed Syndromed and gas-lighted into supporting more sociopaths. The worship of the wealthy since the 1980s has too reached a zenith with Trump. Trump became a celebrity just for being rich during the "greed is good" days. Doesn't anyone remember this? In authoritarian America, the uber-wealthy are seen as gods. This is one facet of a country that has lost it. Authoritarians want the powerful, wealthy and sociopathic worshipped. Boot-licking is now the norm. Trump can insult women and still get supporters. Clinton can have crimes exposed and even her own husband impeached but she is still deemed a nominee of worth.

In this system, there is to be no mercy, only punishment.  Might makes right. Only money-clean outs by the powerful who offer no breaks. The prisons are to be kept full and used for corporate slavery and those who speak out for prisoner rights or even the new Jim Crow, are called insane.

One reason I am no longer in a church, is the growing authoritarianism of America, has not only taken hold of politics but religion as well. As Smakintosh has talked about, the church system has become enablers for oppression and tyranny. The same enablers for tyranny have taken over in both politics and religion.  I got tired of being told to obey man. Right now the churches are preaching "Vote for Trump!". I left just in time. I could not tolerate this. All of my old IFB members are Trump supporters. 

The churches pushed patriarchy and Romans 13 became one of the most favorite verses of the pastors, in their mis-translation that people are to obey world authorities instead of heavenly authorities, they taught from pulpits absolute obedience to the system. I know in the IFB world I was always seen as a semi-rebel even if I shared in the Christian faith with my fellow church members.

 When they preached war from that church I left from the pulpit, I later had the thought, America seems to be a country now where everything is about smashing and "winning" and crushing opponents and blind obedience. Many seem to support tyranny now.  This is why Trump is a good guy to them worthy of support because Trump wins. He may crush opponents to do so, but he has gained their respect. Half the country wants a "strong man" to "make the trains" run on time and to crack down on the ghettos. No one talks about reforming anything. Everything is about punishment and "crushing enemies".

Too many are too deluded to figure out that what came for the inner cities years and years ago is coming for them, and the court system and justice system has already started their oppressions they reserved for miniority races for all who lack the means to pay their way out of the system. This is why an overtly racist man like Trump can "win". The left pissed off people with their endless nonsense about "privilege" to people seeing their economic fortunes sink and having this reality ignored, and then came in Trump. "Trump will save us!" What an absolute joke. I am not fooled.

I have noticed in my own life, how authoritarianism rules here, "Don't have the money, you deserve to be PUNISHED!" It's funny how so much in America is based in punishment now. Every country that doesn't obey us is to be blown up to smithereens, and every American citizen without a perfect slave score and who doesn't have a full bank account to pay endless fees and fines is to be crushed too. Apartments threaten people with eviction. You are told you will lose your license for one forgotten fine or bill. Fines are doubled and tripled so 15 dollars turns into 200 dollars. Pay late, and the bill gets added to. Economic oppression is just one avenue of a system going full blown into tyranny. Trump will make all of this worse.

The Democrat party in my opinion is part of the problem too. No one there is bothering to speak of more freedom or a better life for anyone. It's just more business and banker and mega-corporation status quo. Readers here know I have no lost love for the Republicans too.

The Republican Party Scares Me

It scares me that we have ended up with two such bad candidates, and Trump is the epitome of a country gone "wrong" where tyranny is growing and worship of sociopaths and "strong men" has increased. 

The Decline of American Society 1

The Decline of American Society 2

Going Apolitical?

 

 Politics is a dead end to me. The system is too corrupt. I was reading Thomas Merton's Seven Story Mountain, found this quote, and went to find a meme of it. Politics is the Truman Show. They lie to us just about everything. It is games of money and power. I have no money or power so what can I do? I probably will still talk about politics on here and elsewhere especially if things get even crazier, but how come only a slim margin of people have figured out the system doesn't care about us?

The Democratic party went illiberal long ago supporting authoritarianism, censorship, Covid-crack downs, vaxx mandates, and other insane things as I wrote about on here multiple times. That said, I'm too poor and disabled to become a Republican. Trump just seems to want to smash the Constitution into little pieces. It's a rerun of the usual, giving more tax money to rich billionaires, who seem to want to destroy society in their greed. Neither party represents me or my interests. I will admit on here, I often voted for some Democrats based on my disability needs but that got harder and harder. Things got complicated as I agreed with Democrats on SOME issues and Republicans TOO on others. I simply don't fit either party.

The other week I observed a protest, I used to go protest against Trump and wrote about that here. This was the "Hands Off" protest against Trump. My husband wanted to protest. I didn't, we were on the way to somewhere else. 

 I told him, "I will stay in the car". We had a front row seat to a local protest. He parked on a front street corner, so I had a first-hand view.  He then took his place on our main street, as I stayed in the car. I took some pictures to entertain myself. I'm glad I sat things out because the protest while I agreed with a few things about Musk the trillionaire, and "Hands Off" Social Security, the usual litany of Ukraine and pro-trans flags predominated.  Things were much simpler years ago. That was before Covid, the world, and Democratic party went insane. That was before I realized I no longer fit in with whatever liberalism is today. 

Where were these people when we were being smashed down by Covid and seeing endless freedom destroyed? Where were they then? It made all the signs about freedom kind of ironic to me. 'There were times I wanted to go out in the streets in a rage during Covid, even with signs protesting giving experimental vaccines to kids. Back then, I looked for fellow Covid protesters but all I found was a Mom's for Liberty club that cared more about banning books than Covid vaxxes.

Will I have to go out in the streets in the future if they cancel Social Security and do even worse? Maybe. Who is there to protest to? Hmm that's a thought. "Vote them out!" seems to be a dead end, when the people you don't want always win. 

What about the things I agreed with Republicans on, like ending Ukraine war-[not sure if it has been yet], or ending of mandates or the second amendment?  Trump has crossed many lines that bothered me from Supreme Court rulings that gave him immunity to the insanity of sending citizens to foreign prisons like El Salvador. The government in my opinion is turning totalitarian as a whole, it started long ago. Maybe all governments go rogue with time. 

Americans had it better than most in world history. That may be over.  I warned about NDAA, the Patriot Act and black box prisons years ago, it's not so far of a stretch that all the powers given the administrative branch by Bush and Obama, are now being used by the next president in line. The black box prisons now are overseas. They know it's too far for most people to reach to help their family member. 

The protests are all controlled. I noticed the messaging was all dictated by the Soros group, "Move on" with the "Hands Off" message, and "No Kings" message for a later protest. That kind of bugged me. Like people have to be told what to protest about. I was bothered as the messaging seemed all scripted. Many things bothered me about the local protest I observed.

No one protested the economy or cost of living or groceries, or our falling standard of living! No one cared about Gaza [I only saw one sign] or Yemen! There was not one anti-war sign in the mix! [not even one "No war with Iran".]  I looked around and had husband drive around a bit to see if I could find some fellow vax genocide protesters or some way-ward fellow anti-war people but didn't find any. I would have gone to talk to them.  There were some protests for women's rights and defending trans rights. Not one mention of Covid or what was done during Covid. Some remained masked even now. One guy carried a sign "Trump is the Antichrist", I found that amusing as there's people theorizing that now. How many American presidents are so awful, people have wondered if they are the Antichrist? I remember as a kid counting the letters in Ronald Wilson Reagan's name. There was another lady carrying a sign, "It's time to repent". One guy drove around a car with a Trump 2024 sign plastered to both sides. He was the only counter-protester. 

How come reality isn't being dealt with at our protests? Maybe because those are controlled too? Think about it, the controllers don't want the real hard issues dealt with like discussing the real state of the economy. I remain in shock, that there haven't been any protests at grocery stores.  There are endless videos out there of private people talking about the economy and how bad it is. How come that's no concern at these protests?

There was at least 500-1,000 people in my small-medium sized town.  Everyone seemed to be over the age of 65-70 with some millennials scattered here and there. They were predominantly female too. There was a poster on X making jokes about the geriatric turn-out in their town.  It was a Saturday so younger working people could have been there. Our county is mostly conservative so that may explain some of the turn-out. 

My husband continued his protesting, he finished up.  We said hello to a few church members of the UU church I left. I am still friendly with many at other groups and community events.  

Everyone who reads here knows I see both of our main parties as one big uniparty just like most "conspiracy [reality] theorists" do. I won't say I never will protest in the street again. It could happen, if things get nuttier. If they collapse Social Security, I could be living in the street anyway. I'm too disabled to do marches or any of that. I considered being a "one woman" protest and taking some anti-war posters or one's addressing the economy. Something to think about. There was some sad irony that my husband was re-using posters from our 2016-2019 former protesting era. 

In real life, after too many lost friends, and troubles, I did go more apolitical and ceased talking about politics on my personal social media. I will talk about them with good friends, on private groups and anonymously under this name. Too many people were drawing lines where they were making everyone they knew pass political litmus tests. I lost a friend for not being liberal enough even though she knew I was not a Trump supporter. I do agree with Republican friends on SOME matters or understand where they are coming from. I have one friend who is a Q supporter to friends who are very liberal and ones who share my "neither party" outlook. 

This lady is on to something, when she says "I got a bridge to sell you"...She's right about the government lying to us, and the endless breaking of societal trust. She calls for treating people right again. She sees through the "divide and conquer" game. 

I like her down to earth advice.

The news was making me really upset, and I was tired. Covid really changed things for me. There was this one online discussion where this one guy wrote that it was better to focus on things in life, you had some ability to make positive changes in. I thought, "That makes sense. What can I change or be involved in that will bring better things to life?" Lately it's a lot of art stuff.  Politics to me became an upsetting dead end.  I was in this continual state of anxiety, thinking about it, I struggle with poverty problems, so it's not a good mix.

Maybe some of us hit burn-out, being tired of living in outrage over crappy politicians. I believe Trump IS being used to dismantle the country, I am not sure if it is for deindustrialization or if the elites want to break the USA apart like they did with the Soviet Union. It's impossible for an average person to have all the answers. Sometimes I wish they would just LEAVE US ALONE, instead of doing things like turning off the power in Portugal and Spain. Sometimes I get funny thoughts that the politicians on both sides are such jerks, most of them, humanity would do better to go "no contact" with the lot of them. 

I think ALL of them know the USA is collapsing but most Americans except maybe the poorest ones have figured it out. I'm of the mind the best way to go in life now is focusing on local community.  That's easier said than done, social division is so extreme now.  Find things to make you happy, I spent some time with one friend in that one small town I like to visit in my region this week. We need to build community again. Considering where things are going, it's imperative to focus on community ties and finding peace with people and figuring out something against the "divide and conquer" plans. 

They Don't Care About the Constitution Anymore

Cartoon from "Studied The Constitution. Didn't Like It." {Ted Rall's blog}
It's scary to see how America is giving up all its freedoms that previously made it a great country. Bush started this and Obama is continuing at hyper-speed to remove freedoms such as the right to a trial among American citizens. Rall is usually more liberal then me, but seems to be a liberal that is an independent thinker instead of a Kool-Aid drinker for Obama. There are people on all sides with integrity to know what is happening is WRONG.

Good for Michigan: Michigan Nullifies NDAA's Indefinite Detention.

The Modern Left Has Turned Fascist for Covid Oppression

 

Caveat for this one when I use the word liberal here, it is for the "modern left, DNC, neoliberals, I do not consider these people "liberals" in the classic sense of the word. 

Life among "liberals" has grown scary for me. What does the mainstream left in America represent anymore but slavish ass-kissing devotion to Pfizer and pals? I worry about dangers from the right but at least some of the right wing still seems to support some bodily autonomy. These globalist lovers and sold out types are pissing away all the human rights and freedoms established in Western Civilization. 

How many of us are uncomfortable around people now? Afraid to say the wrong thing? Everyone can feel it in the air. I've talked to a few who have been petrified to open up to me. That's life under the Stasi and is not what America used to be. And none of these people care!

Deconversion took me into liberal world. Seeing what they support has horrified me. Feelings of fear arise around people who support full blown tyranny. One must walk on eggshells around them lest you say the wrong thing and get blacklisted, or labeled crazy. I'm already facing light ostracization in life for the very little I've exposed in real life. I am far more outspoken online than in real life for safety reasons. Think about that one a little bit, living in America, I have to worry about my safety and well-being for having the "wrong political opinions". Well, the Canadians who got their banks accounts frozen for sending 20 dollar donations to the trucker convoy are definitely feeling that even more.

In the old days, real liberals would have been outraged at people having their money taken away for opinions but in crazy world this is now deemed acceptable. These present day neofascist neoliberals support every juggernaut of the elite. I guess civil liberties are just for those who think the "right thoughts".

How many of us are walking on eggshells around people? What does it mean when you feel afraid of many of people, and they trouble you inside? What does it mean when you think thoughts like "You better not let too many know your real opinions or your vax status."  None of these so called liberals care that freedom of speech has been suppressed. We are moving into totalitarianism. When you are afraid to speak your truth fearing for your own safety in a community that means something. Americans took for freedom of speech for granted. These neo-liberals don't support it.

This whole thing has worked via censoring people and to go with the "cancel culture" is the push to "cancel", "erase", silence and sequester everyone who speaks out against what is happening. I wrote this to a pro-narrative doctor on Twitter who supports all dissenting doctors from the mainstream narrative having their licenses taken away. Think about the insanity of that, just to question means you are to be punished. Patient care and survival is put last! At least some are trying. 


 

What does the "left" in America stand for anymore? Medical apartheid? Medical dictatorship? Everyone thrown out to the wolves jobless and more for refusing health destroying vaxxes that don't even work and don't prevent it from being spread?  The "modern left" in America definitely hates the working class and sees them as "deplorables". The poor, minorities and disabled are just to be thrown under the bus. Trust the experts, trust the mega-rich people, trust the ones who profit from all this they tell us. They are insane.

They see people who just want to be left alone to live their lives in peace as a threat.  They push open segregation. They promote censorship to keep Fauci's and Pfizer's gospel as the only one. They refused to push for treatments like IVM or other or traditional vaccines that would work. They lick the boots now of giant corporations. They promote gene therapy that kills children and teens via myocarditis, and life long side effects that are unknown. They want people's jobs taken away and thus their lives for not obeying. They want to outlaw peaceful protests and support violence against them such as with the trucker convoy.  Examine this, what good are any of them doing for us? The mainstream medicos have failed to beat Covid. The PCR tests muddy the issues. Everyone is confused, they want us to be. It's not stopping. They have no plan. There's no end road.  Let's boil it down, none of their shit is working. They have failed and are failing now. 
 

I don't like either team, but what am I to think of people who want to force me to get a shot that would kill me in my case? Who don't believe in leaving people to live in peace? Who hate bodily autonomy? Who think it's okay to force an obviously failing clot shot on people that has out and out killed people and IS NOT WORKING? My horror and disgust have reached new heights. Every person who has opposed me on here, just tells me, take your damn shot, and shut up. They don't care if I die. They don't care if your kid gets myocarditis. They don't care that every repeated booster is a new spin of the roulette wheel. None of them demanded better from our failed establishments. None of them demanded safer vaccines or investment in treatments. None of them told Biden to hold off from war mongering as we got bigger problems on our hands. The "modern left" doesn't care about anti-war initiatives or peace either. That's one thing I'm noticing, none of the pro-Covid narrative supporters have said no to war with Russia.

My disrespect has grown for those who are against the truckers fight for freedom and against mandates. Truckers sit in a truck alone most of the day, there's no logic here.  I support the trucker battle for freedom. Well Trudeau being a WEF member sent his goons in to break up and commit violence against a peaceful demonstration. People don't want their jobs taken away, they want to stay alive! They don't want blood clots. Let them do their jobs. It is disgusting how they have been treated.

Canada is now a dictatorship. America could follow the same way, only plenty of pissed off people on the right and the second amendment has kept us from falling into the same place. The main reason the Supreme Court ended mandates for workers demanded by Biden, is they didn't want the country to crack apart and they knew it would.  In Ottawa, the only violence came from police, who barged in and ran over people with their horses, smashing windows. One disabled woman on a walker was pushed over and trampled by a horse. Hmm almost a metaphor for the disabled and elderly they have destroyed via all this, not caring about our rights, not caring about our health. 

I get scared of lies from the right too, the truckers could be scapegoated and used to collapse supply chains, we could end up with dominionism or problems from the right I've warned about. The failures of the "modern left" definitely means worse is coming.   I don't like Trump, Trump was part of this hell too, creating Operation Warp Speed. Why are the majority of fellow "liberals" embracing tyranny, governmental overreach and evil? It is heart breaking.

So many groups I am associated with, the people are all pro-vaxx. It hurt to be "othered" and banned from people's parties and gatherings for being "unvaccinated". I didn't plan to go, but plenty made that rule. Here I was put in a horrible position, stay silent or paint a bullseye on my back. The "modern left" is doing this to people in general. Taking the vaxx is the modern version of Mao's struggle sessions. You either submit or you're out.  Even a regional group banned all unvaxxed. None of them care about severe medical problems involved in one's decision either. It is not safe to share my personal decisions and medical details, I shouldn't have to, but look at these people demanding to know everyone elses!

I am already pulling away from so many. I don't understand nor relate to them. Their experience of this pandemic also widened a chasm between us. They didn't seem so bothered by it. My emotions about it had no place. I've noticed that with the majority of my Facebook friends, who are mostly "liberals", and who support all this. 

Some had financial resources to go on long distant vacations and have breaks from the Soviet like grey repressed life in our blue state. They could seek sunshine and happiness. They had close knit friends and family and careers that did not bring the same isolation to their lives. A lot of upper middle class and above people seemed to not be bothered so much about the pandemic, while for those like me most of the fun, spontaneous joy, happiness and time with people was all erased away. No one seemed to understand how I was experiencing it. It was constant invalidation. 

It concerns me I have three choices. I can submit and join the Borg and most likely die of vaxx side effects, and spiritually and otherwise die inside with all integrity lost--obviously this is a decision I am NOT going to make. I can live a non-life isolated away for the rest of the few years I have left--thank goodness for my marriage but I am having severe effects both mental and physical from the isolation. The third choice is I can live my life despite the dangers, find new people [I have a few] I can be safe around in being "me" and who do not support this tyranny and take the risks of getting and dying from Covid. Every choice has a price. It is disgusting that people have even been forced into all these Faustian deals. My husband is scared, heck I am scared for him. The pressure of all this is beating us down. He has told me to wait, but I can't live like this forever. There's only so many years of life left for me. Even the COPD is progressive.

As I have stated before, so many of the most ardent Covid disciples aren't suffering. They don't understand my pain.  They aren't living a life like the children in Flowers in the Attic. They could escape. They had large homes to move around in with space, not a a few little rooms that grew around them like a prison cell. They had yards to walk around in not shrinking away in parks always too full of people. They seem to almost find a passion and meaning in the mess I found disturbing. Almost like they wanted to prove how obedient they were, how impassioned at spreading the gospel of Fauci.

 Some seem to be cosplaying like they are stars in a World War II novel, trying to prove how brave and how stalwart they are. No one is crying like me. No one is angry. My distance grew. I used to think inside, "Come on tell me you are upset over this, like I am" They simply wouldn't. I always found the people in this town to be weird.

The elite seemed hellbent on their forever pandemic and vaxxes program. This isn't going to be over from what I can tell any time soon. If Omicron doesn't "end" it and they produce another variant or another one comes out or they lie about one, I can see another "lockdown" happening. They will of course scapegoat the truckers and everyone else against this. They don't care if you wear masks or have been hidden away. All the "unvaxxed" and freedom supporters are their scapegoats for what they have done to us!

On one online deconversion group I am part of, there was someone who said, that authoritarian groups of any kind are not going to work for me. This explains my divide from the left. They are a fellow antiauthoritarian who is consistent in their views. Let's boil this down too, the authoritarianism of the left now sickens me. Come on, I left fundamentalist Christianity over this issue, the authoritarianism. The whole "comply" or die/go to hell bullshit!

This person is right. I can't tolerate being told who and what to believe. I'm someone who walked from my entire family. I don't tolerate or accept this and neither can I pretend to despite the prices I will pay. 

This is a place where my own integrity haunts me. I read an article by a fellow autistic once where they wrote some people with autism do pay a price in standing up for what is right and putting that first over compliance and conformity to a group. This is getting to be a life theme for me.

I believe people are being killed and children hurt by the vaxxes, and I am horrified. Watching liberals excuse blood clots, myocarditis and other insanity has me wanting to get out puke pails. There's even a commenter here who walked because I broke the liberal mold. This guy seemed to like me and my blog but because I didn't want to die of a clot shot, I became a non-person to him. If you don't comply, you are thrown away.

Imagine what it feels like, when an older lady you know brings you flowers at home and demands to know if you have gotten vaccinated or not. You sit there sputtering a bit, but then relent and say "NO, I have major health problems."  My health problems are visible including huge dark patches on my arms from dermamyotosis, and forehead sores. Anyone can tell I am not lying. My Meniere's has worsened and I've gone into more extreme deafness, I am now incapable of holding a conversation with people without a transcribe phone. And this person shrinks away from me, acts like I am "diseased" and gets angry. I only told 4, and that was too many and usually happened when directly confronted. 

I had a few episodes where fellow liberals would visit me and then who complained about the unvaccinated but I did not want them to know my status, and said nothing. The other day at one group, this one lady had a relative die of Covid and proclaimed it was their fault for not getting the vaccination. I sat there in cringing silence, hoping the expression on my face on Zoom did not reveal too much. It is all heart breaking to me. I could let all this go on the premise everyone has their own medical decisions to make and that's what I did, but as the crack downs and insanity worsen, I find myself thinking, "I need to have people in my life who will have my back."

Some "liberals" I know are acting so much in concert, I am creeped out by the utter conformity. You can't question even the most mild thing without complete outrage. Remember I wear the masks in my case, but in their book I'm a crazy Qanon for not accepting it all. You can't talk about your fears or worries or your emotions. If not for a few decent friends who see through the matrix with me, I think I would have gone insane. Being around people that make me feel this way has been almost as bad as the pandemic itself.

They parrot MSM talking points, Fauci, and even state things that make no sense. I am afraid of Covid too, but they just offer nothing answers that have failed over and over. That's another thing that bothers me, all these people expecting stiff upper lip bravery while sociopaths destroy our lives, our health both from vaxxes and gain of function, our economy and more. What is there to look forward to? From what I can tell they have no answers to STOP it all. There's still no treatments that work being offered, no allowing of IVM and Zinc and HCQ or other things that could work. They are removing the monoclonal antibodies. I still ask why the gain of function sociopaths have not been arrested yet. 

They want to name everyone who questions the "official narrative" as a "domestic terrorist". I have spoken out online, and know one day they could drag me off even for what I have written here and on Twitter. I've lost friends already over this blog, but don't share it with everyone in my life. The fact they now have the "modern left" signed onto the NDAA war that started with 9-11 sickens me. None of these people understand how the NDAA removed our constitutional freedoms and means that more people can find themselves thrown away into a black box prison. I'm speaking out for now. We need people who do, but it comes with anxiety. Very few are listening. 

 Democracy in Canada and the United States is falling, and most liberals don't care. They are busy navel gazing blathering on about climate justice, when I realize that's just a pathway to forcing carbon credits on poor people so the elites can still keep their private jets but say goodbye to air conditioning and having to pay taxes over driving more than 10 miles. They don't care that the shots are harming people. Everyone I have seen whose had health problems or people die or other disabling things are censored, hidden away and silenced.

 I find myself yawning when they go on about BLM. No one cares about the black people who are being segregated from society for refusing to become part of a government experiment for good reason. Some scientists are warning Covid is worsening, and it's going to wipe everyone out. All I got to say about that is if Omicron is not the end of it, lean over and kiss any future normal life goodbye as they either release more variants on us, or more are produced by the leaky vaxxes. Maybe the variants are a "lie" too, I don't know but if something worse comes after Omicron and you start knowing more people who have died of Covid, the future is going to be very dark. 

Let's boil this down, they have failed to stop it and are only doubling down on their "failed solutions". The right failed us telling everyone it was a hoax at the start and helping it to be spread, the left is failing us now. The experts, politicians and more have failed. I'm just an average human trying to figure things out. All I know is that freedom haters of any stripe should be stood against. The present "modern left's position against freedom are disgusting.

 I yawn double hearing about voter's rights, I believe in them, but what is there to vote for anymore when every election is rigged and they just put WEF flunkies in anyway? Do these people care about our lives? My answer is no. To the elite we are just fodder.  We are in the middle of being genocided from two sides, and the "left" is asleep. They smile like the dog in the burning room. They have turned too many people into potted plants who refuse to ask any questions who want to help them oppress us all.